Moment of Clarity

Went to go lay down to read a book, cruised a couple websites and then ended up with that little urge at 1:00 in the morning where you're all alone. I hated it, I just wanted to stop myself but how could I resist? I searched "fucking hooker" on google (I guess hookers in porn felt more realistic and accessible, which makes the urge even stronger) and jazzed it up after 15 minutes or so.

I felt blank. No motivation. Basically, a dead mindless person. Numb. Then I looked up again on the magic search bar "how does porn affect your mind." Soon enough, landed on a Tedx video about "The Great Porn Experiment." I realized I was addicted when he listed that you become numb, anything outside of porn is just BORING, your willpower is lost, and ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.

I was not naive when he mentioned ED since I have seen my penis does not perform like it used to. I no longer have morning boners, feels kinda limp when I get hard, and it takes me a while to get a boner when I am having sex, especially when you lose the boner in the middle of sex and waiting for it to get back.

From this moment on, Thursday, August 13th 2015 at 4:25 AM: I will be PERMANENTLY quitting porn as well as masturbation. It's going to be so f'ing hard. Wish me luck and any advice would be FANTASTIC.

P.S

The guy from the Tedx "The Great Porn Experiment" mentioned fapstronauts on his talk that quickly landed me here. After going through a couple posts, I felt like this goal is actually attainable. It's going to be one hell of a ride!

 

Thanks Septimus! Today is my 2nd day without fapping. The urge felt a little elevated this afternoon but not too bad. I quickly closed it down. Feels okay so far!

 

I just hit 5 days without fapping! So far, I am proud of myself for reaching this stuff. I feel like I don't have to escape from outings with friends just so I can remove a load. I used to procrastinate to hang out with friends just to do that and end up being tired after it.

5 days is a good start and I am definitely enjoying these social benefits so far. I can also report my mind is NOT gobbled up by porn and exhaustion, definitely a plus!

 

Thank you very much ado!

 

If anyone wants to be updated, I am only a few hours away from reaching 10 FULL FLEDGED DAYS without PMO. The pride, the victory, the confidence... It's all flowing in like butterflies. I am smiling wide while typing because this website motivates me to keep on my goal and be part of something big. Ever since I stopped PMO, I needed to find a way to release all this sexual energy. I transfer this energy on moving to my new apartment, becoming more social by setting up meet-ups with friends, and just loving every part of my day. Every damn day without it is a good day. Different shit, Different day. I love it.