How common is porn addiction really? What about women ?

I'm probably rare for this forum, but I don't think I'm as rare in the public at large beyond these borders: I've never had a porn addiction. Where I might possibly be a bit more rare, though, is that I'm fairly techie (e.g. can set up my own proxy server, VPN, firewall, etc.)--so if I ever did have a porn problem, those blockers everyone talks about here would not do me much good. I've actually installed a router-level webfiltering program for one of my friends who had a weakness for porn and wanted me to help him. As I see it, though, those methodologies only work for "honest" people--in the same sense as "locks are for honest people."

And that's the only way to avoid porn. Be honest. For myself, I just made a choice not to seek it. My conscience would not allow it, and I prefer to have a quiet, peaceful conscience than to experiment with a guilty pleasure that leads to no good.

As almost anyone who uses the internet these days, I have seen porn. I've looked for it, intentionally, a few times as a means of seeing how easy it might be for my children or others on the network to find it--and then, of course, I have tried to block it where possible. It's not easy to block, though. I have almost given up trying.

The best "blocker" program I know is simply to make a choice not watch it. And stick with that choice. Consider that porn is not an option.

Even Google images these days have a fair degree of mess. Looking for pictures of an old friend? Expect to find some nasties--not of your friend, of course, but of others with similar names who have polluted the internet with their perversity. But one can choose what to pursue and what to leave behind without a second thought. That choice is everything. One right choice makes it easier to choose right the next time; or one bad choice makes it easier to fall again. Each and every choice is important.

Yes, pornography is wreaking havoc upon society. It contributes to broken marriages and homes, lack of mental vigor for studies and for work, health problems, social disorders, increased rates of sexual harassment and violence, gender confusion and dysphoria, and disorders of many kinds. Most importantly, it destroys interest in spiritual things and replaces spirituality with apathy, depression, despondency, and despair.

Those addicted to this vice know that it is evil, but seem to lack the willpower to rid themselves of it. The sooner this is done, however, the easier and better it will be. It does not pay to procrastinate for even a moment.

For me personally, I am thankful that God has given me strength to resist and to not become trapped by this bewitching temptation. I don't think I could have stayed clear of it without His help. Christians are just as vulnerable to this addiction as others, if not more so, because the temptation comes as something that can be easily hidden. "No one will know!" is one of its more successful lures--unlike things like smoking or drinking that are much more difficult to hide. I believe this is one of the reasons that a high percentage of porn addicts are Christians. Astonishingly, even church pastors and ministers can succumb to this temptation.

Yes, there are very many, especially among men, who are addicted. But for myself, if I were an addict, I would find no comfort in this fact. If anything, I would be the more discouraged seeing how few had escaped.

Do you want to be among the few, the rare, and the blessed? Then make a clean break from it. You can escape, if you will. The old saying that "where there is a will there is a way" is still true today. It may take hard effort and some creativity to find the right path, but it is possible.

 

Idk about addiction, but most girls I know watch porn - some just as much or more than guys.

 

Most guys who are addicted to porn don't know they are addicted to porn. They think they can stop at any time. More importantly, they don't think their use has any impact on the relationship, or the way they relate to their SO. The reason you see more SOs in here complaining about it is because they are the ones suffering the consequences, while constant P use deadens the senses. It's like drunk people. The drunker they are, the more insistent they are that they are fine. They're FINE. No really, they're fin- what are you, don't take my keys, I'm fine.

Not a lot of people are trying to quit, because not a lot of people recognize there is a problem. And to be fair, a lot of them may not have a problem. Or, maybe virtually all men with access to high speed Internet are running at a sub-optimal level. That's your other difference, btw, why more people are addicted now than were before. You used to have to buy a magazine from a seamy truck stop. You'd pay money and get a single magazine with what, a hundred pics of a half dozen models? Now you have unlimited access to unlimited models doing unlimited things. It's unlimited novelty.

There are some women who are addicted to porn, but it's not as common and it doesn't seem to work the same way. Some say men are visually motivated, but women are relationship motivated. Some say their version of P is romance novels and, surprise, romance is the #1 most popular genre.

P is killing quality of life, as you say. Most people though, they have no clue how bad it is. They won't know how addicted they are until they try to quit, and they won't know how severely it is affecting them until they succeed.

Or there's the ones like me who have something else going on and excessive PMO is just a bad coping mechanism. But that's another long side trail.

 

On another thread here, lots of us are suggesting up to 90% of guys use porn. I would hazard a guess that 1-2 thirds of that group are addicted.

So hard to say... Like @Meshuga said many won't know if they haven't tried to stop.

Regarding women and porn, I have read accounts on red pill places, with guys telling about casual flings and girlfriends who had crazy high expectations of a guy that was maintained in part by porn.

If he was not above average height, above average 'size', and successful, and giving her great sex every day, then he was not good enough. Meanwhile, many of those women may not look after themselves to a similar standard. I hate the numbers system but you know what I mean. If you don't have your shit together, you can't expect the top 5% or nothing lol.

It's like the same unrealistic expectations just reversed. It happens. How much who can say?

 

True. Porn fucks genders differently. For men, destroys self-esteem whereas in women gives them crazy big egoistic self-esteem.

Much like another way of feminizing societies, producing weak men overpowered by women.

 

What is "addicted" anyway? If some dimwit out there watches porn 1-2 hrs every evening and doesn't have a problem with it, why would he even want to stop in the first place to see if he in fact is able to stop? It's like saying you're "addicted" to eating loads of food where in fact you have a great digestive system that digests all the excess trash that you eat without any obvious / short-term negative effects on your body.

This guy will never respond "yes" in a porn addiction survey. He doesn't have ED because he goes wild with his girl in many perverted ways, and it doesn't affect his relationship because they never talk about it. He's just the average Joe that amounts to at least 70% of the population.

 

It's very common. You can look up the statistics. I think it's over 70% for both sexes.

 

I'd be careful with those red pill places. Loads of bitter guys, looking to offload their own responsibility. I think they also have disproportionate expectations, for themselves and for their potential mates. They overvalue themselves and undervalue the women they want to pursue, and get mad when the woman they connected with over a dating app senses he's a jerk and checks out.
There's an old proverb, I'm paraphrasing, "The one who complains the loudest is the best off," and I've found it to be true. The most entitled women are complaining about the most entitled men, and vice versa.

That's the problem, that's why porn addiction isn't in the DSM yet. Enough people have to perceive it negatively affects their life & they can't stop when they want to.

Statistics are all over the place, because it's all based on self reporting. People lie, and people don't know themselves very well to begin with. A more accurate way is to see how much money P generates as an industry, and business is booming.
My brother owns two ISP companies. He doesn't look at search histories unless the FBI needs him to, but when he does he can't pick a single user to target. He has to open up a bundle to see who has been legally naughty, and he says nearly everyone searches weird and disturbing stuff.

 

Good luck striving to change that! If they perform in bed and generally have no problems at school and work and no history of embarrasing "caught in the act" moments in their lives, there's no way they're going to change anything in the next 150 years.

 

Porn fucks up the brain of millions of people out there. It's obvious a change needs to be made.

 

Very true @Meshuga , I have been seeing too many red pill videos on youtube lately and it really is taking a toll. Some of it is informative, but it can easily turn into an echo chamber of 'all women bad' attitude which sounds a lot like the reverse of extreme feminism when I think about it...

Time for a break from these red pill ideas and more real world experiences I think!

 

Set your own good personal example is the change making method I like most.

 

A while back, I noticed that whenever I mention porn addiction anywhere on Reddit, there will always be at least two or three replies in which people are vehemently insistent that porn isn't addictive at all and that porn addiction is just a myth. Those people who reply always seem to get really defensive and sometimes even angry. It's almost like they feel that they are being personally attacked despite the fact that I didn't single them out. I think there are thousands of people out there who know deep down that they have a problem, but they just want to enjoy their habit and will get upset when they read something that tarnishes their "harmless" pleasure.

 

Yeah, there's this prevalent fallacy that something can't be addictive unless it's a drug in your bloodstream. There are plenty of verified psychological addictions such as gambling, shopping, stealing, video games, internet/social media, and porn. I think some people tend to perpetuate the aforementioned fallacy to convince themselves that their vices aren't problematic.

 

Pretty much this. Most people don't know they are addicted to porn until they can't get hard anymore or until they start developping weird fetishes.

 

It is high speed internet that is the issue. It can spark dopamine releases that exceed those from looking at dirty mags and watching steamy video cassettes. PIED did not become a thing for teens and young men until high speed internet porn.

 

As I haven't been a porn consumer, please pardon my ignorance--but what kind of speed are we talking about with "high speed internet"? If it actually requires a certain speed, wouldn't it be possible to restrict one's bandwidth to the point where porn was impractical?

 

It is not the bandwidth tbh. It is the fact that you can access hardcore sex videos at the click of a button. It is often the case that porn addicts will have numerous tabs open at once and quickly go from video to video and from genre to genre.
It is so far removed from what one might experience in real life. It is this hyperstimulation that causes grave problems.