The Joy of Looking

AmazingFapMan, I had to chime in after reading your original post.

I'm a graphic designer and I too have always appreciated the complexities the human form, and of course the female form in particular. I do have a fondness for it and even a fascination with it beyond the sexual.

Countless artists throughout recorded human history have praised the female figure in paint, sculpture, song and infinite other forms of media. So to say that you admire, appreciate or are fascinated by it, is not at all a thing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Not saying YOU were, just saying.

I do believe it's entirely possible to admire the shape of a woman, clothed or unclothed and disconnect the sexual connotations that are usually attributed to it. It's just that for most of us in this forum, we can't maintain that disconnect for long even if we were able to at all. It's a tricky proposition that is debated constantly of what is "art" and what is "pornography"? I feel the truth is, the only person who can answer that with any honesty at all, is YOU.

Only you and you alone know how a given image makes you feel. What may be a deep investigation on shape, and shadow, line and texture which brings about intellectual stimulation in one person, might be the trigger that causes another person to want to fap.

Just wanted you to know, as a fellow artist, I totally know where you're coming from. I've found myself staring for long periods at photos, or other images of women, again clothed AND unclothed with not a single sexual thought crossing my mind, just an appreciation of the lines and curves of femininity.

 

This thread is really interesting. Count me in too. I'm a web/graphic designer, and I find that 83 days into this reboot, it's not the [insert your favorite genre of hardcore porn] I'm missing, lately, I just want to look at beautiful women. Admire them. Enjoy the curves.

Maybe that's a sign of getting back to a more healthy libido.

That said, I do think that any decision regarding allowing yourself to enjoy visual images of nudity needs to wait until you hit 90 days.

Let the reboot do its work. Then re-evaluate.

As I'm approaching 90 days, I've started thinking. Now what? I know I'm not going back to porn. But masturbation? I haven't ruled it out for when the wife's on her period. Is that a slippery slope? Perhaps, though I have made it through my 1st reboot with no relapses, so I feel like I have a good sense of control here.

 

AmazingFapMan: Right now, you've got 4 hours on your tracker.

What is causing you to relapse? Are there behaviors or items that are triggers for you. Images, situations, etc that escalate into masturbation. That's the key to kicking the habit.

 

Hey Amazing, I can totally relate because I am an artist who specializes in male nudes. I'm gay so my fixation is on men, not women, but it's the same challenge. So I'm just starting this, it's like Day 4, so I still have a lot of wrestling to do with how much I'm going to need to alter my career focus in order to recover/re-set. Probably a lot. But it's going to be a long journey and I'm at the very beginning so don't know yet what it will look like exactly. At any rate, I do know what it's like to draw a nude that would turn me on if I weren't drawing it, but when I am actually drawing, the focus is so different--looking at shapes as abstract forms rather than as parts of an attractive human being--that it's not sexual at all. But that doesn't negate the sexual attraction which is why I chose to draw this particular image in the first place. So it's complicated and tangled. Like I said, it is and will be a challenging process.

 

Honestly though, I don't think anyone can fault you for that one. I think all of us at one time or another have been "cock-blocked" and it's a miserable feeling. For whatever reason, you get all worked up with your partner and get interrupted. I'm not sure how it is for women, but I suspect many of them are better at winding down from that situation without masturbating way better than men can. Once you get us to a certain point, we gotta release that tension. I'm sure there's a few with the willpower to refrain but I suspect it isn't too many.