So look, staright to the point. I like this girl and she likes me. She was caught out today by her colleagues, or at least I think so. When a girl tells another girl 'Seems like you've got a crush' I would have no reason to beleive they are joking. I've worked with an all female team, bar me for 5 months, I am starting to unwrap their brains. I also know it's been quite steamy at times, but its never really taken off. - Part of this reason is because I am leaving work to travel in 5 weeks and I'll probably never see her again (I'm on a temp visa), also because I work with this girl it might be awkward. - I think most of this is because I just feel a bit under pressure about how to go about it. I've never actually asked a girl out before and I'm pretty worried about the rejection thing. So I need some advice, How would I go about asking this girl out on a date or something. Is it even worth it, I have got 5 weeks until I go off travelling. I feel like I've got to do it, yet feel parayzed by fear.
Come on!!!!!!! What's the worst that can happen? I earnestly wait your reply. Rejection?? If you can't ask a girl out (whom you believe likes you)...then you are a reject!! There is no rejection in her saying, "No". Just smile confidently. How do you ask her out? Anyway you please, but with confidence - it is the number 1 thing females are attracted to. Why don't you ask her out for a drink? or a coffee? Or lunch? Is it even worth it??? YES..at least to get over your fear of asking women out!!! Do it!!!! Gauld.
Repeat after me "Hi (girl's name goes here). I've really enjoy working with everyone here don't you? (Pause for response). My Visa is going to expire soon and I'm going to miss this place. Before I go I still have a bit of time left to be with everyone. There is one person I would like to know better.... (Pause). I'm a bit nervous asking you this but I would like to take you out for (supper, coffee, etc.) I like you and want to spend some time with you if you're interested. (Pause and wait for response). (If no) I understand, thank you for being honest. I'm glad we work together. If you change your mind my offer still stands. (If yes)... That's great, can I get your phone number and I'll call you to see when you would like to get together"
Alright guys so thanks for the advice. I've just finished work and I feel like I've left with egg on my chin. The day was good, she was breaking the touch barrier. Taking the piss out of me spraying me with her perfume, the signs were good. So I went and asked her casually "what are you doing this weekend" and I got the biggest turn off statement I've ever heard in my life. Now don't get me wrong as I've never really done this before, but she didn't even drop a hint she wanted to be asked out. She answered with "I am going to clean my room and talked about buying a MacBook air. By the time I heard her 5 minute spiel I had lost complete interest. A 26 year old woman cleaning her room what the he'll. I was going to ask her to do a nature walk with me but she really killed my vibe. I'd like to know your thoughts and suggestions. I don't feel like anything has been blown and I could certainly ask her again but wow man just wow.
Dude... has it ever occurred to you that she might be nervous too??? You asked her what she was doing and she told you and she told you. You didn't ask for a date and she ain't a mind reader! Now that you've broken the ice ask her to go on a nature walk.
My friend, you are just fearful that she isn't interested. You're allowing your fear of rejection to cloud your perception of the situation. What she said here does not imply that she's not interested or doesn't want to be asked out. Allow yourself to process the fear. Feel it, and once you do it will pass through you and leave. An emotion cannot leave your body until it is felt in it's entirety. We were built to feel ALL of our emotions, whether they are pleasurable or painful. Once we run away from our emotions or are too afraid to face them, this is when problems ensue. I've had plenty of experience with women and I've asked out many girls and have been on plenty of dates and I've heard all sorts of replies. Yes, 26 year old ladies do clean their rooms on a Saturday. You're over thinking and over analysing her reply. You're reading way too much into it. Also, you need to understand that, just because you asked her what she's doing over the weekend, this does not mean she'd assume that you're about to ask her out or had the intention to do so. Not all women jump to such conclusions, even if it may have seemed obvious that you had this intention. Maybe she wasn't even aware. As you said, you're somewhat shy, so she might not even know that you like her. I've had this happen to me before with a few girls as well. There were times where I thought a lady knew I liked her, but when I finally confessed, she said she didn't even realise. Even though you may feel there's a connection between the two of you, it's still not always easy to read between the lines. Whenever you ask out a woman, have absolutely no expectations, man. That's when things go wrong. Every single human being has free will. It is her free will to say yes, OR no. Nobody has to do anything for us. You cannot rely on her response to give you some type of value or reassurance. Fear of rejection also comes from the fact that there's a part of you that wants to control the situation. Fear of rejection is just the same as fear of loss of control. You cannot control her free will. Understand that there are billions of single women on the planet... Her saying no should not crush your world. As men, we need to be stronger than this and understand that it is her loss. We need to allow ourselves to work through our own insecurities and feel them. Face your emotions. Fear of rejection stems from other un-dealt with emotions that can show up in a relationship as well, so please, be mindful of this too. Lastly, although I have no problem asking any type of woman out, it is not something I would do in a work place any more. It can get awkward. In a work place setting, that is the only setting where I let the woman ask me out. Two jobs ago, it was my ex girlfriend who had asked me out. She asked me for coffee. In work settings, I keep myself to myself. Nothing wrong with flirting, showing interest, but as for actually asking women out, it's a no, no for me. Although I discourage asking women out in the work setting, everything I said above is still beneficial, because this whole thing is still about facing our emotions and not running from them. You need to let yourself be free from the result, from the outcome. Start living from the soul. Start living through your desires. If you desire something, do it. Totally up to you if you wish to ask her out, but also remember that she can ask you out too. It is not just men who always should do the approaching. Sometimes women need to learn to take the initiative too. Interest should be mutual and should not always be provoked by the male. This is also another reason why, even in general I do not ask women out these days, because love is a two way street.
Yeah I do feel like I could have pushed further, but we learn from our mistakes. There's more opportunities!
I think you have hit the nail on the head there. The whole, working relationship thing is a concern to me. I do feel like I need to man up somewhat though. The fear of rejection is probably my biggest concern though. Thats something ill need to work on as this has deep roots in my childhood.
You will regret not doing it. Just do it, even if it's a big fail it will feel better than not taking chances. Dont let fear be the reason.
From one dude to another who has the same problem: you'll regret not doing anything more than you'll regret getting rejected. Trust me. You literally have nothing to lose. Even if it creates awkwardness for a couple of months, big fricking deal, you go back and move on with life. Make the most of the opportunity you have NOW! The more you dawdle the less interested she'll be.
Woa woa woa woa woa. You are judging her for cleaning her room at age 26 but you say you've never asked anyone out before? I don't think you're in a place to judge. People should clean up their spaces. Unless she said something that made you feel like there was no way you would be interested in her (having a satanic ritual meeting or something), ask her out. I agree with the other posters, she might be nervous. But whether or not she cleans is not a good reason to avoid her.
