Will life end

In adolescence it is normal to look for porn to have fun and approach one's sexuality, but once an adult it is better to find a girl or more with whom to build a lasting and serious bond.
Hello

 

My parents divorced when I was 10, I feel you. Mom was ok, but a father figure is indeed something that is irreplaceable.

Carry this lesson of your father’s promiscuity with you and be a better child than your parents. It’s what an ambitious person would do. The thought of my parents’ divorce would help me deal better with a lot of “negativity” between me and wife in my present marriage. I just knew what it feels like on children’s end when you screw up as a husband or father.

 

Go and check out @SickSicko's post from earlier today about how porn gets into your subconscious. Once an emotion or idea gets in there, it's like a fly in a fly bottle, but the way to get it out is to flush it out with new material.

Time isn't the same for the subconscious - 10 minutes and 10 years are the same, because linear time is a feature of the PFC, or modern brain set-up.

This means that the reason you should forgive your parents is because the fact that you're not practicing forgiveness is the reason your own life is shit. Jesus and other spiritual teachers didn't teach forgiveness because they were simps. There's a good quote from the Dalai Lama, I think, that goes like "Indulging anger is like drinking from a poisoned cup and expecting your enemy to die."

The reason you need to learn how to forgive (it's a skill, like drawing or playing the guitar) and to fill your soul up with good stuff is that nothing will change until you do. And now you've heard this perspective, you can't blame anything on your parents any more. Your failure at least to try to change your own inner life is on you, and you'll never have a better life until you do it, because your attitude colours everything and everyone you meet.

That's m' 2 cents.

 

@derobe Quite relatable, not entirely, but some aspects of it, like feeling you have thrown your 20's away.

Why should you forgive her?
She is just a person, a human, flawed like you are, I am, and we all are, resentment will keep you prisoner of your dark emotions, forgiveness will set you free of them, if you find it hard, you may try and look at it from a different perspective, forgive her not because you think she deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve happiness.

Empathy is a key element, would you have done better in her shoes? are you sure? take the experiences as a lesson and be better, you still have your flaws, forgive her, as at horrible as any person may be, usually they just don't know better, or are not capable of doing better even if they know.

Life is worth living, if you are moving towards something, as small or big that something may be.
If you are internally not moving towards anything, life becomes dull, days pass, and seeing the worth of being alive may slip away from you.

Hate and rage can be powerful, but you should use their energy to create good changes in your life, instead of let them consume you and damage you, a running from hell kind of thing, you know what you hate, you know what enrages you, now make some positive goals, and use the energy of your hate and anger as fuel on top of the positive motivation to move towards what you want and away of what you don't want.

 

Once you choose to forgive your mother, you will become free from your hatred and anger.

Forgiveness is an act of love to yourself, not to the other.
Forgiveness breaks the emotional bondage that's now between you and your mother.

 

Man, I suggest to you to go trying, little by little, leaving the past aside "it can't be erased" but re-signified and that's good for the mind, we have only one life, we don't need to be remembering and nourishing our mind with bad feelings

 

It sounds like you have been through some very tough times.
I suggest that some professional counselling could be helpful in working through your feelings and lightening the burden you presently feel.
You don't have to carry it all on your own.