New to NoFap and need help

I'm a newbie too. Trust me you can do better.

What is the goal you set for yourself originally? How did you plan to achieve them? Are you aware of your usual triggers?

 

You've come to the right place. Lots of help inspiration and support.

Ive been here a week now. It gives some kind of accountability to yourself. Start a journal here. Share your story and progress. It won't be easy but it will be worth it. Good luck

 

How much time did you spend on masturbation per day? If you did it that often it probably was a lot. It could help you to fill that additional leisure time you'll have now with something else. Did you do anything in that direction, or do you have any ideas?

 

Hey buddy,

First off, good going! This is the place for you. We can help you help yourself.
The guys here have had this addiction, mostly since they were teens, even before. Some of us have carried this around for 50 years and more. So it is great that you want to recover at such a young age.

Platt, I can only imagine that there has been a lot of pain, confusion, and frustration for you in your experience with PMO and trying to quit! No matter what our backgrounds or practices, we all know that this is one tough fight to break free. But you are to be admired for getting in a clean streak of 5 days, especially since you were breaking away from such a heavy daily dose of MO.

I'm not clear if you also include porn with masturbating. Almost all of us do/did. So some suggestions will refer to ridding your life of porn as well as masturbation.

You are right, buddy---you definitely can do better. You can be totally free of P and MO. That does not mean you will become totally free of the urges, though. They stay with us, off and on, sometimes very strong, other times weaker, all our lives. You have to accept and be ready for that.

You want to be clean by your choice, as you say. great! So, first take some time and literally write down all the reasons you can think of WHY you want to stop using P and MOing. Be specific. Make the list, then review it often. This helps motivate you, esp. when the urges and temptations come.

Next, do some good "fantasizing" and fill in the blanks:
As a boy/man who no longer PMOs,
I will be....
I will feel....
I will be able to....
People will say that I....

All of the above are good thoughts and images about yourself, and you can use them to substitute for any nasty thoughts or ideas that tempt you. Boot out the unwelcome images and replace with helpful ones.

Some other suggestions that have helped a lot of us:

Get daily exercise, esp. to make yourself sweat. This helps use up energy that you would have used against yourself by masturbating.

Cold showers help reduce your lust and also are useful for clearing your brain fuzz. Both with exercise and cold showers, the manly part of you is telling your selfish urges that they are no longer in control.

Use porn blockers on your internet devices. Lots of guys use k9 (google it). Use a random password or let somebody you trust set it.

Don't have your phone or laptop in your bed, bedroom, or bathroom. also, there are a whole lot of triggers (temptations) on twitter, FB, tumblr, instagram, etc., even if you are not deliberately looking for them. Probably best to remove them. Same goes for youtube.

Go to bed only when you are sure you can go right to sleep. If you're not tired out yet, crank out some pushups or other exercise first.

Platt, you are going to see hot girls everywhere, esp. now that school is starting. You can't help it. But you definitely can prevent yourself from fantasizing about them. You have to do that! If the fantasies keep popping up, keep shooting them down, hundreds of times if necessary, and have some decent thoughts ready to take their place.

When I stopped PMOing and MOing, I started having wet dreams. I don't know, you might never had had one yet because you were ejaculating so frequently that the semen never built up in you. In any event, wet dreams or any sexual dream, no matter how colorful or nasty, break your clean streak. They don't set you back at all. If you wake up while having a wet dream, just let it finish. don't touch yourself. And if you remember a sexual dream in the morning, just boot it out, don't think it over.

Finally, some advice on setting a goal for yourself. Almost all the guys here set up a goal of noPMO---no deliberate looking or peeking at porn or porn substitutes (girls in bikinis, lingerie, etc.), and no masturbating to the point of orgasm. Most guys will not edge, either. Then, you set a beginning goal that is realistic as to the length of time you commit to. With your background and frequency of O, it will be tough for you at first, but with small successes, it will get easier in time. Promise. But you have to work really hard. So, what about trying for 3 days at first? Or whatever you think is doable. Achieve your goal, give yourself a little nonsexual reward, then tack on another 3 or 4 days, etc. That way, you will always be within a day or two of making each goal, instead of thinking you have to go a whole month at a time or even a week at a time. Your short goals will eventually add up.

Last couple of points, and I believe some of the other guys here who have responded to you mention this: Have you given any thought to why you M so frequently? No matter the reason, you CAN control and eliminate it. You do, right now, have total control over it. I'll tell you why. If you were in your room, getting ready to masturbate, and your mom came in and sat on the edge of your bed, would you continue with your plan? Of course not! So, buddy, you have to come up with motives that are as strong a deterrent as mom sitting next to you!

This is a very very hard fight, Platt. None of us goes through it without a bunch of emotional bumps and bruises. There will be times when you will feel on top of the world, ready to take on any challenge. The next day you could be ready to give up! And everything in between. Every single one of us has been ready to give up, and most of us have at some point or another. But the good thing is we didn't stay down. We got back into the battle. The only way you lose this fight is if you quit it for good.

Read a lot on the site, bro. Keep the tab open whenever you are on your computer. come here definitely wehn you start getting urges, no matter how slight.

Post often and keep us up to date. we're all in this together.

Peace, Platt. Mike

 

Hey Platt,

Good for the dress code! Believe it or not, I am flying back to college right now, and we also have one, similar to what yours is. No shorts, jeans, sneakers, tight clothes for either girls or guys. And as you say, it's a great help.

If you read various forums here, you will see that lots of married men and guys who are having sex still have major addictions to PMO and MO. So you are smartening up a lot younger than most. Good for you!

Go for that 90, brother. Write if I can help.

Peace. Mike