I'm about a month in since my last MO. Today, some real urges hit, and I was having a hard time finding a good reason to keep going. More on that later... One of the big themes this year is learning to cultivate all of my abilities as a man and a as an individual. For forever, I tried to ignore that I had any sexuality, but it was running in the background, just the same, out of my control. As I have deepened my understanding of my sexual side, I've found that what works for me is to go on long masturbation fast, where I don't jerk off for a set period of time. Then when urges happen, I can tell myself "Not now. Later." I find that that creates a profound hunger for life, as many on this forum could attest. I want to cultivate and act on that desire. I want to live and love deeply. As a Christian, I want to do this celibately. That makes for a deep challenge! Today, when I couldn't find a reason to keep going, I thought of my sex drive as a nuclear power reactor in my body. Nuclear reactors overheat. Sometimes nuclear stuff blows up. But if it is carefully balanced, maintained, and harnessed, it can supply vast quantities of energy for everyone's benefit. I kept retaining today because I want to know how better to add power to my life. I want to add benefits to others. I want to stay with the high drive and learn how to channel it into the power grid of society. I am a nuclear retention scientist. What will we discover?
It sounds like you found a mentality that works for you. The more you improve and work on yourself, the more you can offer in others lives. Makes perfect sense.
I am Kristijan too. It is best to read about the successes of others. That can help a lot. And it doesn't matter which religion these successes belong to.
Well written. I like to go even further and say that what you’re feeling IS life. You’re feeling LIFE ITSELF more within you, you ARE actually ‘more alive’ than you would otherwise be.
