help me (17M)

I am also 17 years old, my biggest streak was 76 days, I broke it at the end of October and I felt like the biggest loser, I am now for a month and I know I can succeed now because I removed more triggers. I recommend you read this book, take the time to do this because if it helped me who has been watching pornography since the age of nine and who has reached the worst possible fetishes, then everyone can.

 

I don't want a link to be sent to me, but type in a search engine
I don't.
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EasyPeasyWay, should have 146 page

 

Why are you guys actually trying to do nofap? Did you have a problem with masturbation before? Is there a problem you're trying to fix by doing that?

 

Feel gutted for you, man. That’s addiction for you, it’s very hard to break.
I would like you to study your previous and present patterns, in what positions do these impulses arise, at what times, and anything you can think of, and create a sort of playbook for what to do when whatever situation arises.
When you are having visual representations in your head, get up and take a walk, don’t feed it, don’t fight it, simply let it pass for that moment.
Create a playbook like that, algorithms.

I don’t know you well enough, but try to find interesting things that yo would love to do. It gets boring, but it’s better than giving in.

I wish you the best

 

When trouble comes and those thoughts come to me, I pray to God for help and I remember what he brought me to, I remember that by avoiding that shit, I deal another death blow to that addiction. I don't like to philosophize much, so I recommended Allen's method, in order to defeat the enemy, you have to know his tactics.

 

Well first I would say you never "deal a death blow" to an addiction. It's something engraved in your brain that you'll have to manage.

Now I was asking this question because I'm not sure by what standard two 17 years old guys conclude that they need to strictly avoid masturbation for months on.
What reason do you have to believe that you are masturbating at an unhealthy rate?

Masturbation on its own is not unhealthy. I see the other kid saying he wants to get "benefits" from not fapping for 100 days. What benefits?
You'll only get benefits from not masturbating if you did it so much that it became measurably detrimental to your life or health. There is no actual benefit to nofap for an average person who has a healthy balance.

Most people here had a problem not just from masturbation but from the long term effects of an abusive consumption of porn.

Reading a 17 yr old saying they've been skipping on masturbation for months to "get benefits" raises a bit of a red flag. You might very well just be stressing yourself out, needlessly subjecting yourself to an exaggerate level of abstinence, and then causing yourself shame, self-loathing and anxiety for failing to stick to it, which is on its own toxic for you.

 

Definitely not. People who have not been treated by the method of will can leave pornography without any remorse or self-contempt. You see, none of us was born with the desire to masturbate and watch pornography, and every time we ask him to choose to wake up tomorrow without remembering us, he would accept it without thinking.

I don't see a reason why he would masturbate, I see absolutely no benefit from it, masturbation is not as harmful as pornography, but it is also not necessary. What would you masturbate when the next day I can wake up rested and strong ready for new challenges? It is tragic that you recommend masturbation, especially to someone who is being treated for pornography, and you know that these two things are closely related for porn addicts. I have been masturbating since the age of eight, sometimes 5 times a day, I haven't masturbated regularly for the last year, and I don't miss anything. You have people who have been celibate all their lives, watch some clips with them, none of them are nervous because they can't masturbate, they absolutely care about it.

And let me ask you what is "healthy balance" in masturbation? There is simply no such thing as a healthy balance in drug use, masturbation is simply not a physiological need of a person, one can live without it. And those people who work NoFap without benefit are not the right way to approach the problem, because if someone works no pmo because of a certain motive, then they will fall into the trap again. The only thing and the only benefit for which I work nopmo is freedom from slavery, of course there are many more benefits but they are just bonuses to the aforementioned.

Abstinence from masturbation can only provoke everything you said if they watch pornography, so they watch pornography but do not masturbate. At the beginning of this year, I had a series of 40 or so days in which I did not masturbate and had orgasms, but I watched pornography almost regularly, and that is why I could not progress. This way of working is worse than ordinary PMO because here a person thinks that he is deprived of something and wakes up every day with the hope that a certain number of days must pass in order to stop the desire for pornography, but it does not work that way.

 

I don't know what "the method of will" stands for, but what I meant is that once you've been addicted to something you pretty much forever are. The urges will become more and more controllable as you distance yourself from the object of your addiction, but you will always be vulnerable to it, and if you give in to it, you'll find your way back to your low point very quickly.
The reason I mention that is because many people have a misguided approach to their addictions: they feel like they enjoy the thing or the behavior that they're addicted to, and aren't ready to imagine their life without it, so they think they'll stop for a while to "get it under control", rid themselves of that pesky addiction, and then be in a position to consume again but this time, responsibly. This leads to failure pretty consistently.

I don't "recommend" masturbation, I'm saying it's a natural thing to do and not worth getting all worked up trying to avoid it at all cost, unless you've had clear issues with it. I see no evidence that this person is "being treated for pornography". In fact, the earliest post I can see of him is one from earlier this year in which he explains that he is performing well academically, accepted for college, athletic, plays music, etc., and wants to get rid of masturbation / porn habit "to reach [his] full potential".

I'm all for getting rid of porn, having realized how this can affect one's life. However I see no indication that this guy is actually experiencing any problematic in his life caused by masturbation, and worry that his struggle might be one of performance anxiety, not of excessive masturbation. There exists no evidence that masturbating would keep someone from "reaching their full potential", whatever that is. None. And so when I read a post that says "hour before i be reading and being full man and later after fap i be crying like pussy", I see one of two possibilities. Either this guy is somehow uniquely emotionally affected by the sole fact of masturbating, or what is causing him to feel such distress is basically nothing other than the disgust he's creating for himself for failing to stick to his goal, having convinced himself that this was somehow necessary.

You can literally destroy your own mental health by putting yourself under that type of pressure and subjecting yourself to this type of self-recrimination all the time.

A healthy balance is one that does not cause you health or social problems. Yes, of course, you can have a healthy balance with drug use. Millions of people drink alcohol occasionally and do not suffer from it in the least. Same for any endorphins released after sports. You can get addicted to anything, including those, including to picking your head, to washing your hands, to playing games, anything. An unhealthy habit is one that is causing you problems, other of course, than just being stressed about it.

But masturbation is not a drug. And true, you can live without it. You can also live without movies, or music, or your favorite food. Is that sufficient reason to forbid yourself enjoying all of those? Why masturbation in particular?

You seem pretty definitive in your idea that you shouldn't masturbate. I'm fine with that, really. That's none of my business. But your reasons don't necessarily apply to everyone. And in the case of this other young man, I suspect that his reasons might be rooted in charlatans' myths about how it can be detrimental to his life. If this is a well thought out and informed choice then, good for him. But statements like

Let me think that's not it. Because "brain fog" is pretty typically psychosomatic, which doesn't surprise me given how things have been framed so far.

Anyway. You both do as you like. But this feels like a kid showing up to al-anon meetings because they got drunk a few times with their friends. Or like a perfectly healthy young woman obsessing over every calorie she's eating.

 

Well listen, as I stated above, I do think that getting rid of porn is more than likely a good idea in the long run. Especially porn that you feel is in disconnect with sexual practices that you find appropriate.

If you really do feel like you need to get rid of masturbation, go ahead. All I'm saying is that if you're doing it because you've read or been told that not doing it would somehow hinder your ability to achieve your goals, but have otherwise no history of pathological behavior related to masturbation, your choice might be misguided, and it is very possible that whatever distress or disgust you feel after masturbating (not considering porn) might just be the result of these expectations you've created for yourself.

Just like the example I cited above, of a young girl who's in perfectly good health who tortures herself mentally every time she eats a handful of chips. I went out for 8 years with a girl who was super sweet but who was super obsessive about every single health fad she found online and she literally made herself sick, to the point of having to drop out of university, solely based on psychosomatic effects she had derived from her obsessions with every little detail about her health. Now she's moved on from all this, and she's perfectly fine.

So again, if you feel like your decision is well grounded, by all means, do what you feel you need. But I would invite you to introspect and question yourself about where you got this idea from.

 

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Bro, I can relate. 4 months ago, I was almost in the same situation---Watching porn videos nearly 1-2 days and beat the meat....I have no energy to study or work. That's why I want to do nofap.

I have failed many times until I try "hand-copying Buddhist sutras". When I felt like watching porn videos or masturbating, I rushed to my desk and started hand-copying "Heart Sutra". After half way through the sutra, my lust was gone already. It works for me every time. It evens become a habit for me.

Besides, copying Sutra by hands, really cool me down and feel peaceful and comfortable. Don't know how to say. Anyway I feel very good when I do copying.

Besides, I'm a vegan. I don't eat meat. Eating too much meat will make my lust go higher, that's why I quit eating meat.

You can try my way!

Btw, if you are a Christian, try hand-copying the Bible, I think it will work too.

 

Let everyone do what they think is best for them, for me, complete abstinence is the best, because then I feel the best and achieve better results.