Hello I'm new here

I'm a 19 year old male and I don't like where I am in life. I've been dealing with severe depression for the past 3 years. I rarely leave the house, I feel rather lazy, and on some days even personal hygiene is a struggle. I'm not working and I'm not in school. But I am at least grateful that I no longer feel suicidal.

Porn started for me when I first got my own device, a Samsung Galaxy Tab 3 I believe, back in grade 6. I started out looking up pictures of girls I saw in mobile game ads, and it's been escalating slowly over the years, up until i masturbated for the first time a few months ago.

I don't like how porn makes me waste so much time, how it keeps me up at night, how it is controlling my thoughts for more and more of the day, how it leads me to increasingly terrible fantasies like rape for quick pleasure, and how it makes me view women only in terms of sex appeal.

So I know that porn is bad for my health, and is probably at least partly responsible for my depression, but I'm also a Christian, and I know that it's a sin that offends God, and that it's bad for my soul. Even with knowing all of that, I still feel compelled at the end of every day to turn on my phone and look at some pictures of naked women.

None of this makes any sense, especially since I don't even want to be in a romantic relationship. And since things have ramped up so severely recently, and I can't seem to go even 2 days without porn, i want to make a serious effort to quit for good. I want to regain self-control.

I just relapsed an hour ago, and i want to start a "reboot" immediately, from pornography and masturbation. I'm hoping to learn some important lessons here on my path to self-control, as well as gain constant reminders and encouragement to stay on track.

I don't know if anybody will respond to this, but if you do, I'll get back to you in a bit. It's midnight and I need some sleep. Good luck and good night!