Nearing 11 months of abstinence for reasons I have explained in other posts but won't go into here. The past couple of months in particular I have really been struggling with concerns about losing erection size and quality and whether I'm losing my libido / sexual energy and becoming less masculine through all this. I should say that up till this past January I have been O'ing (from M or sex with a partner) all my adult life, which equals more years than many on this board have been alive in total. Anyway, last night I dreamed I was just going about my normal day and a disembodied voice said, "this has gone far enough, just take care of yourself and be done with it." I remember deciding in my mind to go with that but before I could go to a place to do the deed, the dream either ended or I woke up. Either way I didn't follow through. And when I did wake up there were no urges whatsoever. I don't remember most of my dreams so when I do remember one, I pay attention. I'm not sure the dream itself was a sign of encouragement but I know my response (i.e. not following through) was.
The further you go on this journey the more spiritual attacks you will face. They often happen in dreams. In fact I’ve had many dreams during streaks where I dreamt that I had relapsed, which left me devastated. Until I woke up and was relieved that it wasn’t true. Regarding your libido and sexual energy.. it’s quite the opposite. You are building and cultivating your sexual energy like never before. You are becoming more masculine, not less. Instead of sending your masculine energy out into the ether, you’re holding onto it. Do not let the devil trick you into relapsing. He will take advantage of these fears you’re having. Keep going you’re doing great.
Another dream last night. This time in the dream I gave in and MO'd without P. I remember the feeling of the orgasm in my dream and that I came a ridiculous amount... but when I woke up, completely dry. So my retention streak is still intact. I think this is my brain trying to reassure me that everything still works (it will be a year three weeks from today since I've released). Open to other interpretations, though.
That’s pretty odd that you woke up dry. Why would you MO in the dream if your brain is trying to reassure you that things still work? MO is a corruption of real sex. I think it’s more likely just your brain trying to let go of all the past experiences you have with MO. Sometimes that’s how dreams work, we relive something in a dream so that the body can release it.
