I don’t feel anywhere near pathetic when I’m speaking straight truth. Idk why you’re bothered, if you don’t like it move on.
No, that's not how an addiction support forum operates. That might apply on Twitter or some other site, but not here. Not only are a lot of your posts not helpful at all (and I don't care whether or not they are "straight truth" or not), they are the exact opposite. They are condescending and often even unnecessarily hurtful. You aren't strong or cool by dragging people, who are already down, even lower no matter how factually true it might be. Also, if you can't differentiate between telling the truth and hurting people unnecessarily, that's on you. It's not always about content alone, but also about the tone. From what I read from you, I don't get the feeling that you are here to help anybody.
You really are bothered by me, speaking like you know everything about me from a few posts. Get off your high horse
I am not bothered by you, I don't even know you. I am bothered by your way of behaving in a support forum. Your posts often aren't supporting, as many other members have told you in their own threads already.
Hi. as personal experience, I have struggled in my marriage with ED.and it wasn’t until I recently joined nofap, that dug deep into possible underlying causes for low sex or no drive. I recommend a book called “Your brain on porn”, by Gary Wilson. A great resource of the science behind porn addiction and how it relates to neuroplasticity and reward system, sensitization and desensitization, and loss of gray matter as a result of using porn. I related to many symptoms that usually physicians and mental health professionals do not account when searching for underlying causes. it is all in hiw your brain gets addicted to something and how it impacts several aspects of your body amd mental state. it does also provide suggestions in how to reverse some effects taht can bring among other results, libido levels back. hang in there, I have also a very understanding and caring wife that loves me so much and understands this is a baby step approach back to full intimacy. With the grace of God, we will get back to normal and so as you.
I'm a p0rn addict and still want more sex than my wife does! Been married 12 years and always been that way, I don't get some of the testimonials on here from women saying they initiate sex, seems alien to me. I always assumed us men were sexual deviants and wanted it non stop, whereas women didn't. Edit: FYI, I relapsed yesterday, twice to p0rn and still had s3x not long afterwards.
This is all really, really good news! Going to an actual sexologist is a very huge step that people who are not serious about recovery wouldn't be bold enough to make. It sounds to me like he really wants to get to the bottom of this too, which is great. You're in this together, which means you're already quite a few steps ahead of the poor wives whose husbands don't give a crap. I would echo what @Real Jerry Seinfeld said (lol that feels weird to say), that your husband is probably still using porn, maybe more than he admits. It is very rare, in my experience here, for someone with a porn problem to just easily stop using it for 30 days on their first try. Especially if you say he's had problems with it since childhood. He is probably addicted to it, which he may not realize yet or be willing to admit. But that could certainly be the problem. However, I do also want to touch on the age thing. You said you're both 29, and that is getting close to the stage where people might start to lose a bit of their libido, typically. I mean, there is (in general) a pretty big difference between a 20yo man and a 30yo man in their desire and ability to be doing it like bunnies all the time. So that natural decline in libido might be playing a factor here as well. Marriage can also change things a bit. My husband and I used to make out quite often when we were dating, and we straight up never do that anymore, tbh. Our sex life is much more scheduled and less spontaneous. Which made me a bit sad for a while, but I've learned to appreciate sexuality in a different way, less selfishly and more as the holy bond it was created to be. But anyway, mostly what I wanted to say to you is that it sounds to me like your husband is on board and trying to understand this with you and fix whatever needs to be fixed, and I want you to know that not every husband is like that, so you are already in good shape there! I wish you both the best of luck.
That is a myth! Sex doesn't slow down at 30!! That's far to young, I know guys around 50 who still have high libidos! Speaking for myself here, I'm 36, but I think about sex far more than I ever did in my teens and 20s!
I really don't think it's a myth just because you haven't experienced it yourself. You realize that people's bodies are different, right?
I kinda think the slowing of the libido is more of a life circumstance than age thing. At 20 you don’t usually have the kids, the responsibility, the work schedule etc. that you do by 30. My libido dropped a little in that time frame (35-45) then roared back once I resigned from my job and kids were less work! Unfortunately it really just stopped once I entered menopause. I’d say my husband has a higher libido now than his 20’s but that because he isn’t jacking off every day, lol. I think we attribute it to age when there is so much more that might actually b to blame. Not trying to argue, just a lot of factors involved with libido and sex…..
There are obviously other factors, yes. I definitely never claimed it was only about age... I said that age could be playing g a factor. But age obviously plays a factor in human sexuality. That's just biologically true. It's common knowledge, for example, that younger guys could have sex several times in one night, and an older man, regardless of how much he might want to, might just not physically be able to.
I just want to quote myself here and highlight some things, because I feel like people are acting like my entire post just said "it's because he's 30, that's why he doesn't want to have sex anymore." Keep in mind as well that this was one small paragraph among many others... I didn't see anyone mention age yet, so I thought it was important to mention that that *might* be *part of* the situation.
For a 30 year old men, they experience a decline in their sperm count, combine this with his recently found "addiction" since we don't actually know how long he might have been masturbating to porn, it could be why he feels low libido
Agree here - and even if libido doesn't decrease, work and kids make opportunities go away. Hard to feel in the mood (both people) when you just dealt with an hour long tantrum over which color straw they had with their water.
I have 3 kids, but ALWAYS make time for sex with my wife a couple of nights a week, even if it's just a quickie when we're tired. I guess everyone is different though.
I get the sperm count/hormonal peak thing, but that isn't related to performance peak in most cases. It depends on a variety of factors, especially diet, health and general fitness. Your body won't be the same if you don't look after it, lazing around eating Cheetos all day. As you get older you've got to stay on top of it all, eating good wholefoods and getting good, regular exercise. I'm 36, and still go for three rounds of sex in a night with my wife when we get the time.
Don't get me wrong - I'm happy to make time. But add two people with full time jobs, two kids under 6, etc etc and getting libidos to line up isn't always easy. Cna't tell you how many times I've been in the mood when she's stressed or she's in the mood when I'm at the office etc.
