I have been meaning to make a thread like this for a while now, I read posts about this topic some what often and sometimes I have shared my thoughts on them. I have not been active on this site commenting wise for a while since I needed time to collect myself. I have been single for almost 3 years now and during this time period I have not tried to date that much. I did try to connect with females from my past but all of them did not work out at all haha. It caused me great difficulties and I often relapsed after a failed attempt. I felt miserable when I waited for texts back or when I felt that they were not interested. Very recently I started online dating again and I do not know if it is a good idea or not. I tried it for few weeks during the summer and it ended with a relapse and deletion of the accounts. But about the actual topic of this thread: loneliness. It sucks. Sometimes it is easier to deal with if life is busy otherwise but when one really likes someone they start to focus more on that person, thinking about the other person more and more, and the next thing you know it is all one thinks about. It has happened to me many times and it still happens sometimes. What then happens is that when the relationship does not work out how it was supposed to in ones head, we lose the ground under our feet. And more often than not we relapse, feel like shit and feel unloved and miserable, denied. We feel like we do not want to exist anymore since the pain and "humiliation" we feel from getting rejected. We feel like we are not worth it. So to conclude this in some way and maybe to give some thoughts on how to not let that happen again: We should do our best to stay busy, when we get intensive feelings towards someone. We should use the excitement to do something productive and do our best to not entertain fantasies. I know that this is one of the only reasons I feel let down is when I make something up in my head and it does not play out that way. If we stay reasonable about the status and position of the relationship, we wont end up being disappointed. I know one way to get over something like that is to go all "fuck females, I will focus on the grind" and it is somewhat helping. Truth is that one should focus on their own life. But we should stop hating or feeling angry at females because we were not what they were looking for. Bitterness only harms us and our own personal growth. It was not meant to be and it is okay. But we, in my opinion do not need to revenge rejection by getting rich. If one gets rich, it is okay. But one can get rich for the wrong reasons. I do not know how helpful this was, I kinda just needed to pass time and decided to finally make a post about these thoughts I have had for a while. Feel free to comment your thoughts as well, do you agree or disagree with me one this. And for anyone feeling lonely right now, it is okay to feel that way. It is normal to feel bad sometimes. We all feel that way. And when I feel that way, I do not write posts like this. I feel awful as well and go through the bad emotions. Speaking about them helps, also having an attitude of acceptance to a certain limit. We can not control what happens. I see that God/ nature/ universe will give and take. We should enjoy when we can, but remember that it will not last for ever. And when we feel bad, we should accept it and know that better times are coming. My ex-flatmate taught me that. I think it is well said.
I never had much success with women much either, and despite being young myself I know that If I want to achieve my goals I must work on them. Yet I feel soo drained every time I realize how alone I really am on an intimate level. Your post resonates well with me, and it's both brave for you to share this. Regardless of what might tempt me in life, or how much I've relapsed, experiences like yours are part of the reason why I get up in the morning. Thank you friend.
Loneliness plagues my mind everyday. Sometimes its easy to deal with with distractions but most of the time its hard as hell. I am really happy to hear from a fellow brother and knowing that I am not alone in all this makes me feel connected to you people more.
Yeah, loneliness is hard. I think one should be able to find happiness alone, but still we all need people as well. To find a balance between the both. Are you "out there" on the dating world, or trying to meet people, or?
No, I have never tried online dating. But I do want to meet up with new people. Although, I have had friends in the past and even then I have felt lonely so I think its more to do with how I am feeling rather than the presence of people around me.
Mmm, yeah I do not know if online dating should be recommended, it does have a lot of negatives that can harm nofap. One thing that helps to my loneliness is to have a job or to study to meet people and have some activity. Also hobbies help to meet people and the chitchat is somewhat enjoyable even though it serves no higher purpose. Just helps to feel connected with people. If you share a hobby it is easier to find common ground. I also recommend joining some groups like in you housing department or school etc that plan and set up events etc. One way to look at the loneliness is also to know that when one does find a partner they know how lonely it was before so one can appreciate it fully. It will make the experience better.
I fully agree with you there. But still sometimes, its hard to shake off the emptiness when I am all alone by myself you know. I think I am beginning to realize that we should have peace and love with ourselves first during the times when we are alone before engaging in social circles. I have tried all of this but it always happens that whatever distractions I create to fend off feelings of loneliness, it always comes back whenever I am actually alone by myself.
It's not often for me to like a post, there's must be something special in the post if I like it. This post does have a special thing, especially for me. I have been lonely for.... I don't know. You're very right on that part that we should focus on our own life. You also right in the part where we shouldn't hate women if they don't be what we want. Your post relieve me so much, so take my likes!
Yeah, I agree that we should be happy on our own since if we are desperate for something it is probably not going to work. But I think it should not be an excuse to not try to get out there. Finding a balance here is something I struggle with.
Mm, I am sure that internet has so much to do with loneliness in the current day. When there was no internet people hung out more and were a lot more social, at least to my understanding. We are living in difficult times. We should try to spend less time online and more in the real world but this pandemic is not making it any easier on us. Hopefully you will meet someone special one day!
