Sorry to hear that man but just hold on to the belief that one relapse hasn't undone the previous 87 days, that only happens if you go on some mad edging binge or maybe if like me, you're more of a severe case. This is where I think counters become counter-productive. To see your counter go from 87 to 0 is very demoralising and can really mess you up but just remember that your brain doesn't count days, it counts healing. It took a hit with the relapse but it didn't go back to 0. If you could put a number on it(which would be total guesswork) you could say you've gone from 87 to 75. Now if you see that on your counter, sure you think damn I was just on 87 and I've gone backwards but you'll also see the 75 and see the progress you've made and what you have to lose by jumping into the addiction again. On the other side though you could also say that knowing your counter will go back to 0 acts as more of a deterrent than setting it back 10 days or something so I guess it works both ways, the counter becomes a psychological game in itself, which isn't good. I don't really have a strong view either way on people using counters but I think it would probably be better if they were visible to you only as they're a very glib and basic way of measuring progress. In your case for instance your counter now says 1, on the face of it that doesn't sound very impressive but if people knew that before the 1 was an 87 then they'd see it differently. There could be another guy on here who has spent the past few months relapsing twice a day every day but now he's on a streak of 2, his counter says he's doing "better" than you but obviously that is not even the slightest bit true. Either way though, the long and short of it is yeah you screwed up a bit but you didn't burn it down, you only do that if you follow that relapse up with another one, and then another ... and another. I'm sure we've all been there and we all know that really does put you back to zero.
Yeah true. Yes. In fact I have less urge to fap n very less to see porn. I was like that earlier. Would use relapse as an opportunity to see more porn. Thanks for this. Good advise. Yeah I don't have strong urge to binge now. Thanks. I'd be lying if I said my relapse wasn't a binge. But I've been clean for 1 day now. N don't have superstrong urge to relapse again. At least for now. But yeah a relapse really wrecks the mindset.
4 days. no relapse yet. the more i phase out of pmo addiction, the more i feel filthy and horrible for all the pmo and acts that i've done at the height of my porn addiction. how do you forgive or live with yourself with the memories of what you've done?
I highly recommend this video to make you feel better (254) Diagnosis and Treatment of Sexual Addiction in the Digital Age - YouTube
It's like riding a bike or a horse for the first time, no matter how many times you fall, get back on it. Maybe the reason that you stopped P were not big enough. Maybe you need to really spend some time on why you want to quit. I know it's tough. Keep going!!!
I realized a huge thing that may help you here: The same "crappy" feeling of desire to P, is actually ONE AND THE SAME FEELING as the crappy feeling having low self-confidence. Watch this EVERY MORNING: LISTEN TO THIS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING! Extreme Self Confidence Affirmations - YouTube
I am proud that you abstained for almost 3 months. Rhat's very impressive, even if you didn't hit day 90. Some men can't even get past 7 days yet. Be proud of this small triumph. Success doesn't happen as quickly as we may want, so we should celebrate the little victories along the way. This is a learning experience and we are slowly learning about ourselves. I'm happy that you are noticing abuse within porn and cam sites. Porn can be disturbing: I've seen things from videos of unconscious sex partners to videos of sex partners screaming. Sex can be painful and there are sexually transmitted infections that can make sex very painful. Some porn actors have to live with that pain and even sell it, sadly. This sadomasochism might spill out onto viewers of porn. Sadomasochism may become "normal" for viewers. They may start abusing women or allowing abuse from women. Both are very dangerous. Abusing women can have legal consequences. Being abused by women can be a path to self-destruction.
yes true. luckily my recent relapses havent included bdsm or abusive chats. i am sort of okay with vanilla porn as if i go completely nopmo then i get urges to get into abuse chatrooms
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You are a masterpiece, what you have done doesn't define who you are. What those people say in those chats is not who you are. You are strong and courageous. Knowing that you are flawed in some ways means you are self-aware and that's a good thing. Nobody is perfect but we can always strive to be better and do better and that's what you are doing right now. You don't need to be punished or pay any penance, you just need to offer yourself a little more grace and forgive yourself.
