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My sexual life

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Dragon44, Jun 26, 2022.

  1. Jun 26, 2022 #1
    Dragon44

    Dragon44 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys, need a help from you. Story is a bit long, sorry.
    Well me and my wife married after 3 months dating. A lot of sex then. She was pregnant and we were completely in love. After our daughter was born our sexual life was never the same.
    She had a problem of sexual abuse when she was a teenager. She was raped. She apparently overcome that.
    I'm a guy with a lot of sexual energy and would easily make sex twice a day. I'm 44 now and my wife 43. We're married for 17 years now. In the first years I was still trying to touch my wife in bed, kiss her, touch her hair, but she was denying any sexual approach many times. I quit. I stopped begging for sex. I'm not this kind of man. So I used "women's services" for a while. I regret. Stopped doing it years ago. Don't go to prostitutes anymore. All I do now is masturbate and watch porn. I need sex. However I know that those girls are exploited and abused to do that. I don't want to be part of it but I need sex at the same time. My frequency with my wife is 1x 6 month, sometimes 1x year. We just don't touch each other. I feel like I live with a friend. But, I need romance, I dream with romance. I need sex and my wife just don't care. It seems she ok with this situation and would live like this forever. I'm not. When my wife hugs me or tries to kiss me, I feel like kissing my sister and nowadays I don't even want to have sex with her anymore. I was denied and had to find other ways out so many times that now even if she wants it, I don't. I don't like the idea of watching porn my whole life or going to prostitutes. At the same time it seems that the more I watch porn the less I want sex with my wife. And the types of porn are getting harder every time. And I really don't want to be part of it.
     
    Dragon44, Jun 26, 2022
    Dragon44, Jun 26, 2022
    #1
  2. Jun 26, 2022 #2
    There'sForumsForEverything

    There'sForumsForEverything Fapstronaut

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    Have you tried cuddling with her, but making it clear that you're not trying to initiate sex? That's what I would try first.
     
    There'sForumsForEverything, Jun 26, 2022
    There'sForumsForEverything, Jun 26, 2022
    #2
    Tannhauser likes this.
  3. Jun 26, 2022 #3
    Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

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    I would strongly recommend couples counseling. I can also recommend some books if you are interested.
     
    Tannhauser, Jun 26, 2022
    Tannhauser, Jun 26, 2022
    #3
    vxlccm likes this.
  4. Jun 26, 2022 #4
    Long Range

    Long Range Fapstronaut

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    Hi Dragon44,

    Its unfortunate that you and your wife fell out of the habit of having regular sex. On the positive side you are your wife are still together and haven't got divorced, so there is still plenty of opportunity for rekindle your relationship.

    What I recommend is you eliminate PMO and MO from your life. After about 90 - 120 days you should be mostly healed if you had any PIED, but you will still have to be very vigilant to make sure that you don't relapse. When you stopped PMO for 90 days or more you will likely find that you and your wife start to become more attracted to each other. At this point it, you might want to talk to your wife and let her know that you would like your sex life with her to be more like it used to be and see what she says. I suspect that she will be open to improving the relationship since you are as well.

    Be carefull not to relapse after you have sex as there can be a chaser effect.

    Good luck!
     
    Long Range, Jun 26, 2022
    Long Range, Jun 26, 2022
    #4

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