Escorts...Dutch and Other Open Minded People Please Respond

Zapy97 · Jun 30, 2022

BlindSisyphus said: ↑

I had not fully made up my mind. I came here originally to have myself convinced not to do it. I was convinced. I came so, so close to not doing it. I have no plans to go back. I do not want to watch porn to avoid prostitutes and I haven't watched porn in a long time.

I could go for some words of encouragement though. Or a success story where somebody improves past where I am.

I'll be honest, I feel robbed. Not because I lost my virginity, that really doesn't seem to matter, not that it's a secret I'll have to keep for a while, nobody understands the stress that led me to this point, but because I thought the woman I seen was the sort of woman who wants to be a hooker. Well tbh, I can't say she isn't. There wasn't a pimp there or anything. It's just that I took part in a lifestyle I didn't think was good. Maybe she like it that way, I don't know. I specifically looked for the type of worker that wasn't being coerced and wasn't in a bad situation. I don't like hurting people unnecessary. Maybe I didn't. I dunno. I tried to be nice. I honestly think she didn't expect me to want to talk or anything, just go and do it. I wanted to talk n shit. I wanted to at least have some sort of normal interaction, because that is how I am with everyone. She didn't seem to expect that. I think both of us were sort of confused by the whole situation, she was confused why I was interested in more than just fucking and I was confused why I was even there.

I think I might go pay double the money I payed for the act to some sort of fund for helping people get out of that life. I know there isn't too much of a reason to feel guilty, lots of other people who either do that or do other things in life that are no good don't feel guilty and guilt just prevents good people from being able to out-compete bad people in life but I don't like the situation I walked into.

I guess it is like porn in that way. The people behind porn, the industry, what you are ultimately supporting when you buy a subscription to something on a pornographic website, it isn't all that different.

And then ofc there are women who exploit men in their loneliness through cam girling or whatever.

Anyway, this was all unnecessary. Virginity doesn't matter. Society talks it up like a big deal but it really isn't, it's just another way for some people to say "teeheehee I'm better than you". Unfortunately I had a friend who would tell me shit like that and I believed him.
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Its never about the sex its about bonding. You were lonely and sought out physical connection from a prostitute. Just another way to scratch an itch. The connection two people get from being intimate is like duct tape, you can rip it off and apply it to a new surface but it won't stick as well the second time. You can do it again and again but it won't stick. You need deep personal connection, community and trust. Make friends and hang out with them. That's where I am, looking around for people to spend time with and creating a social life.

Aquiantedwithsorrow · Jun 30, 2022

Zapy97 said: ↑

Its never about the sex its about bonding. You were lonely and sought out physical connection from a prostitute. Just another way to scratch an itch. The connection two people get from being intimate is like duct tape, you can rip it off and apply it to a new surface but it won't stick as well the second time. You can do it again and again but it won't stick. You need deep personal connection, community and trust. Make friends and hang out with them. That's where I am, looking around for people to spend time with and creating a social life.
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100%

BlindSisyphus · Jun 30, 2022

Zapy97 said: ↑

Its never about the sex its about bonding. You were lonely and sought out physical connection from a prostitute. Just another way to scratch an itch. The connection two people get from being intimate is like duct tape, you can rip it off and apply it to a new surface but it won't stick as well the second time. You can do it again and again but it won't stick. You need deep personal connection, community and trust. Make friends and hang out with them. That's where I am, looking around for people to spend time with and creating a social life.
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That's not why I went there but it is what I am experiencing now. Now I have to know who I was with and that it was an actual person there. Like I said in my earlier post the whole thing was awkward. Two people both not getting what they expected. She probably expected somebody less attractive and crueler. I foolishly expected somebody who I could talk to and have sex with who would help me feel less uncertain about myself.

BlindSisyphus · Jun 30, 2022

BlindSisyphus said: ↑

That's not why I went there but it is what I am experiencing now. Now I have to know who I was with and that it was an actual person there. Like I said in my earlier post the whole thing was awkward. Two people both not getting what they expected. She probably expected somebody less attractive and crueler. I foolishly expected somebody who I could talk to and have sex with who would help me feel less uncertain about myself.
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Honestly I can't even say that perhaps if we had met in different circumstances, money may not have changed hands. Not that I would be looking to go long term with a prostitute or anything but I really did get the feeling I was the nicest person she had spoken to in a long time.

BlindSisyphus · Jun 30, 2022

BlindSisyphus said: ↑

Honestly I can't even say that perhaps if we had met in different circumstances, money may not have changed hands. Not that I would be looking to go long term with a prostitute or anything but I really did get the feeling I was the nicest person she had spoken to in a long time.
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I almost want to see her again just to say sorry. No sex. Just to say sorry I was a part of your not-so-good life.

BlindSisyphus · Jun 30, 2022

BlindSisyphus said: ↑

I almost want to see her again just to say sorry. No sex. Just to say sorry I was a part of your not-so-good life.
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Not sure that would be a good idea though. Lots of other bad things can happen as a result of that.

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