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Suicidal, hopeless, and afraid of future

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Bruce K, Oct 21, 2022.

  1. Oct 21, 2022 #1
    Bruce K

    Bruce K Fapstronaut

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    I am 34 and 6 months old, single, never had girlfriend.. Addicted to PMO for past 23 years.. it all started with masturbation while i was 12 or 13. I was masturbating 7 to 8 times a day.. Then using sex mags to masturbate.. Then sex movies and so on.. I tried quiting many a times but never suceeded. The best time was i quit PMO for 3 months to prepare for High school exam.. From then again it all started again. Now this PMO thing has ruined everything in my life. I LOST my life goals, ambitions and my intelligence. Now i am depressed, lost almost my hair (i think its because of excessive PMO for i almost spend days and nights on PMO), anxiety, social fear, and worst of all PIED. now i scared of my future to the bones. Suicidal thoughts, depressed 24 hour.. Cant even eat properly.. All my friend got married and I am the one left alone and all my friends have good jobs while i am stuck in low paying irritating and frustrating job i really hate and cannot see a way out. During these past 7 years i have tried to quit many times but failed. I have come across these forum at the beginning of this month.. I have no energy left .. I am lost .. i am not sure what decision shoul i take now.. There is not a single positive thing left in me to carry on in this life.. I made a hell of my life for this instant pleasure which is autopiloting my brain.. I am finished..
     
    Bruce K, Oct 21, 2022
    Bruce K, Oct 21, 2022
    #1
    Panther Browne and Ūruz like this.
  2. Oct 21, 2022 #2
    IAMFIGHTER

    IAMFIGHTER Fapstronaut

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    Being at 22, I sometimes feel I have lost in life and can't get back on track. I am too late etc.
    But I think there would be SO MANY people in this world wanting to come back at 22 and fix there life. I HAVE THAT TIME. So, I can't give you any advice as I do not qualify for it. But would like to ask what 22 year old of you would do If now you could go back there.
     
    IAMFIGHTER, Oct 21, 2022
    IAMFIGHTER, Oct 21, 2022
    #2
    Bruce K likes this.
  3. Oct 21, 2022 #3
    Malickkorasen

    Malickkorasen Fapstronaut

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    Life without emotion is dull and boring. We can rejoice and be angry, marvel and resent, be sad and adore, hate and admire. At the same time, negative emotions accumulate in the body, provoking emotional distress that can lead to chronic stress. Gradually emotions literally leave us, in the end only the feeling of emptiness remains... This way leads to emotional and professional burnout.

    Why can't the psyche take it?
    Because it is faced with loads that summarily exceed its ability to process. It can be compared to a fracture - a bone cannot withstand the force of a blow or a fall. Or, if for many years a person sits in an uncomfortable position, then at some point the back begins to hurt, and after some more time the consequences are the same as in the case of an acute injury. The psyche works due to the integrity of neural circuits, which provide stability of emotional reactions, and if these circuits are destroyed under the influence of stress, then the person loses the usual internal supports.
    Why not everyone is susceptible to emotional burnout syndrome? The secret here is that a person constantly needs positive emotions. Even if you don't like your work, but you are happy in your personal life or with your friends, then you are not threatened by burnout. If you do not have such positive emotions, you have only to try to avoid emotional burnout.

    One way to avoid emotional burnout is to change jobs. However, there is no guarantee that the new job will not have the same results, and not always the desire and opportunity to change it. Try to somehow change the environment. For example, you can get an additional education. The longer the courses will last, the better for you. The minimum length of the course should be six months.

    Sometimes it happens that communication with people overloads you. When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, try to be alone for at least half an hour. Think in silence, sort out your own thoughts. You can also go for a walk, if possible.

    And don't forget about self-expression. All people in creative professions are very rarely susceptible to emotional burnout. Enroll in a dance class, play chess or paint in your spare time. Your emotions should definitely have an outlet. Share your experiences with your friends and family. If you do not have the support of family and friends, then create your own circle of interests in which you can share your own experiences with people who will understand you. And these can be the same people who are also at risk of emotional burnout, only they must work in other companies.

    Every time you are tired of everything, surround yourself with blue and white flowers and try to spend a day in silence. On such days, the body itself will recover from emotional overload, because the mechanisms of self-regulation will be turned on. Try to do such "unloading days" more often, otherwise you will not avoid health problems.
     
    Malickkorasen, Oct 21, 2022
    Malickkorasen, Oct 21, 2022
    #3
    Om Prakash Vedanta and Bruce K like this.
  4. Oct 22, 2022 #4
    Bruce K

    Bruce K Fapstronaut

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    If i could go back in time and say to my 22 year old.. I would say always stay away from porn be it sex story, sex magazine, sex stories, and all different kind of sex videos.. And stay away from masturbation also.. These doctors may say its normal.. But Its addictive and i was addicted to it.. "Saying masturbation is normal is like saying to person to taste drugs because if you take drug one or two times its normal" but many people got addicted to drug because of one test.. i started drinking alcohol from trying to know the test. Though i am not addicted to alcohol, whenever i drink, my mind got excited and i relapse. Could not control my mind. Now since last month i have decided not to touch it against in my life. I would like you to stay away from alcohol if your addicted to PMO for sometime because it will get your mind excited. If possible to quit its OK. If you cannot restrain alcohol do not drink when you are alone, drink when you have people around you so that your excited mind will not drag you to PMO.. be careful and watchful.

    My advice about masturbation is never masturbate even if you are stressed, or your social and mental environment is hell, never ever masturbate. I did that mistake. My family was bit horrible with alcoholic father and abusive. No love from my father . may be masturbation becomes an escape for me. And one thing age 20 to 30 you are going to have lots of energy, and there will be urges so strong at the begining of nofap.. Bear it but never sucumb to your urges as the samurai quote says "bear the unbearable". The urges is not going to kill you.
    instead direct your energies to something creative study+ physical+learning something new and in time may be 2 to 3 week or one month your urge will become less and less and you will have your mind filled with new positive ideas automatically which you were engaging in those past weeks or month... I think the brain is rewiring, even though i am not expert at this. Try it for one months or two months and you will see or mind will be thinking creative ideas automatically..
    In this situation i made a mistake i think i can control this PMO thing i thought why not have one pleasure moment then from there its hell and again i felt in the shit hole.. This repeated many times.. May be the mind was tricking me and i fell to its trap repeatedly.. Never ever comit this mistake.. No porn/no masturbation in any case.. "PORN AND MASTURBATION IS OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER" Consumed yourself by your work. In doing so you will be emotionally and mentally happy. There will be an inner happiness flowing when you replace PMO with other positive activities at your age.. In your age you get that feeling within few weeks to a month.. At my age, i am 34 it takes 5 months(i abstain from PMO from May to september, then again fell its victim)
    Say it "I did not come to this world to watch other people doing stupid and senseless thing or watch other people achieve their goals. I come to give my life experience, achieve my goals, do my god given task/karma ".
    Lord krishna says so nicely " do your duty and shape your destiny. Ohh man in your own hands, you hold your destiny".
    "Lust, greed and anger are three gates to hell"- bhagavat gita

    One more time never ever watch porn, sex magz, sex stories, different kinds of genre of sex videos.. And do not masturbate its really addictive. These days incest is becoming a common genre in sex videos.. What the hell is going on in this planet. Our mind loves taboo and it will hook you to hell. The porn industry is trying to destroy our minds and brains.

    Be courage and brave every moment of your life, every scond of your life.. While writing this line i too came a thought in my mind that is to live every moment of my life with courage and bravery. Even though i lost hope, i will try to live with this mentality
    One more thing if possible join a martial art class as a side hoby, it will test your psyche.. If not possible run, swim, practice yoga, stretching exercise.. I think this can all be done by oneself...
    Good LUCK. never ever turn a eye on PMO.. live your life to the fullest and test your limit of life..
     
    Bruce K, Oct 22, 2022
    Bruce K, Oct 22, 2022
    #4
    Sometargets, Panther Browne and Ūruz like this.
  5. Oct 22, 2022 #5
    Ūruz

    Ūruz Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same way. Lets stick to this website and post once in a while. Maybe make a journal or go to "Events & Challenges" forum section and commit to some. It's small thing but it can be like an anchor to not drift away in dark. I think the worst possible thing for us to be alone, which is why I signed up here. I'm with you man, you commented in my thread so you probably read that. We can get out of this man!
     
    Ūruz, Oct 22, 2022
    Ūruz, Oct 22, 2022
    #5
    Panther Browne and Bruce K like this.
  6. Oct 22, 2022 #6
    Bruce K

    Bruce K Fapstronaut

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    Yes brother, we shall pass through this hell with courage and bravery...
     
    Bruce K, Oct 22, 2022
    Bruce K, Oct 22, 2022
    #6
    Panther Browne and Ūruz like this.
  7. Oct 24, 2022 #7
    ArthurDutch

    ArthurDutch Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys did you also felt like deep inside of you, you dont feel open to anything outside like when u pay your maximum attention to lets say what your dad says for your life, u dont feel it deeper kind of thing if u can understand. If u look at yourself u see u just react without absorbing that information completely
     
    ArthurDutch, Oct 24, 2022
    ArthurDutch, Oct 24, 2022
    #7
    IAMFIGHTER likes this.
  8. Oct 24, 2022 #8
    Panther Browne

    Panther Browne New Fapstronaut

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    @Bruce K, thanks for posting. I related to it a lot. I can't give advice as I am also struggling along with you, but I can say 100% that some time off PMO will help you to see clearer, and realise that you're not finished. PMO distorts everything, distorts perspective, emotions, rational thought. It's PMO that makes you feel that way.
     
    Panther Browne, Oct 24, 2022
    Panther Browne, Oct 24, 2022
    #8
    Bruce K likes this.
  9. Oct 25, 2022 #9
    mistergonzo

    mistergonzo Fapstronaut

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    Bruce, I have some very practical advice for you.

    1. Shave your head. You don't have a bad hairline if you don't have hair. It's a good look, and changing your look that drastically will help you feel better about yourself.
    2. Constantly ask yourself the question "How can I contribute?" This is a question that focuses on those around you or your future self and not your present self. Watching porn services your present self, but provides no sustainable benefits. Also, there are no negative answers to this question.
    3. Exercise, clean your place, meditate, eat healthy. These are things that are inside of your control that will help you feel better about yourself.
    4. Don't worry about quitting porn forever. Forgive your past transgressions, they are in the past. Just don't watch porn today.

    Hang in there. The past is prologue.
     
    mistergonzo, Oct 25, 2022
    mistergonzo, Oct 25, 2022
    #9

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