100 days flatline - need some hope!!!

I am 41, and I was quite deep in that shit for around 30y. Started from magazines and VHS, finished at transgender and sissy stuff. I was PMOing few times a week but still was able to have quite normal sexual life with my wife for all that years. After starting NoFap I feel numb in my pants. I was having some spontaneous erections quite often before starting and now It never happens. I feel like I lost a big part of myself and an the moment I feel like I was much happier before NoFap.



Started NoFap in July but since flatline hits me hard I've tested my buddy few times on some adult content. I did not know a shit about flatline unfortunately. No PMO since July but since I have been testing myself so I cancel my counter and started again at the beginning of October.



Flatline was more and more intense every day. At that time I met a great girl and since I did not want to disappoint her I was using some ED pills. It was helping for some time, but I had the filling that it's helping less and less every time I use it.

Anyway, that relationship is finished and I am alone for about a month now and on hard mode since than.



I must admit that NoFap made a lot of positive changes in my life

going to gym 3 times a week (never been on the gym befor NoFap),

jogging 2-3 times a week,

taking cold showers

trying to meditate

taking supplements – magnesium, maca, ashwaganda, vit e, vit d, Omaga 3, Gaba+L-arganina

Eating healthy food

Stopped watching TV, reduced social media a lot.

I reduced alcohol and weed to almost zero, been drinking beer every day before NoFap

(now few beers and a hit every 2 weeks maybe),

reduced coffee to few cups a week, drinking a lot of water.



I lost almost 20kg and never been in such a good phisical form in my entire life. I look like a young god... there is just one small but...



My libido is still almost non existent and starting to lose hope that it will return one day.

This makes ma really depressed and I have it in my head 24/7. This is the first thing I am thinking about in the morning and the last one befor falling asleep. I am thinking about it even when accidentally woke up in the middle of the night. I have it at my head almost all the time and it makes me crazy. Can't focus on anything...



I am having nocturnal erections and morning wood almost every day.

At the beginning it was weak and short now I am very often 110% hard for a hour in the middle of the night so I guess it's a kind progress...



My mood is also overall better than it was a month or two ago when I had some panic attacks and could not breathe, could not sleep at all and had suicidal thoughts on a daily basis.



I am 100% sure I will never watch P again in my life. Firstly I am not even thinking about it and the second thing is that now I know how dangerous this shit is.



2022 was very hard for me. My dad died in May, my wife left me in June, then a girlfriend left me in December but I am still trying to be positive and I believe in healing process.

Is it still a hope that I will get my libido back and would be able to have normal sex again.

Fuck, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone....

 

Thanks for giving me some hope. Had some vivid sexual dreams few times and a kind of twisted porn dream once two weeks ago. I am actually heaving some weird vivid dreams very often but not always sexual.
I will never ever test myself. As I said I am done with porn shit. I just want my libido back to get a real woman.

 

Yes, I am freaking out about my ability to perform. I feel like I won't be normal again. I am having daily 110 % strong and long nocturnal erection and morning wood but still never any erection during the day

 

Thanks, you are right there are a lot of enjoyable things in life but starting NoFap I was pretty sure that my sex life will be much better. I still can't understand why it happened and I hope it's just temporary... Sex is important part of life and lack of libido makes me depressed and anxious...