Honest NoFap Review - 147 Days

I am nearly five months into NoFap. This was unimaginable only a few months back. I have come a long way since those days when I would fail repeatedly after a few days. Many times I failed in the 20s and failed to hit the 30 day milestone. I was stuck in this cycle for a full year before I finally decided that I would give it everything.

On my last day of university, I decided that I would fap for the last time before I launched into a do or die attempt at NoFap. I left university on 23rd May 2015 and I have not fapped since then. No, I haven't either been involved in edging even once. I have been on hard mode since day 1 and it is almost miraculous that I have survived so long. There have been some terribly tempting days but I have stuck in and refused to surrender. Sometimes, I have even wondered why, in the first place am I doing this, knowing full well that I won't, or rather can't do this for my entire life (or can I?). In those moments, the sheer 'futility' of this exercise has smacked into me given that I could easily choose to live a 'simple, normal' life by being just god-damn normal. Why torture myself?

Anyway, the fact is that I have shown tremendous mental strength to rein in my impulses and have exceeded my expectations in this endeavour. What, if any, differences can I see between then and now?

At first it is tempting to say that there aren't any. There are clearly no visible signs that I have turned into a superman in these five months. Most of us are never satisfied with what we have and what we have achieved. We always want more. Even though I have made a tremendous leap, the change doesn't seem apparent at first glance. One possible reason why I feel as if nothing has changed is because my desire for more is stronger. I am so absorbed in where I want to be that I don't give much value to where I am and where I have come from.

Right now, I feel that I am pretty much the same old person, albeit some subtle, but immensely significant, changes. Somewhere, deep down, I know that today I feel much more strong and confident than I felt before. There is a quiet strength which has developed inside me. There aren't any loud, overbearing and boisterous manifestations of this in my personality, but it is there - a quiet reassurance that I can do what I want do. That I can face any hurdles; that I have it in me to conquer any obstacle before me. When I sit and think about it, I realise that I didn't use to feel this way. Yes, I still do have fears and anxieties; they are still here, they are always here. But what is new between then and now is that I now am convinced that I am strong enough.

As well as this, in general, I am in a better mood overall. Despite having been rejected back to back for several jobs, I have not felt destroyed by it. I have been rejected but haven't felt dejected. I have felt bad about it but I haven't been depressed. At no point has it occurred to me that I am not good enough.

As far as physical changes are concerned, it is difficult to tell. I don't know if there is more vitality in my face, maybe there is, but for that I would need to compare identical pictures of then and now (which I don't have). I do though think that the quality of my skin is better.

I don't think there is any change in my eyesight. My energy levels are better than before and I am generally more disciplined in my day to day life. Also, this NoFap adventure has meant that porn has been eradicated from my life. I haven't watched porn since I started NoFap and this has meant that I save a lot of time, and more importantly, my mind is not clogged with visual pornographic content.

And what about the downsides? Quite evidently, every few days there are moments of frustration over not being able to release the sexual tension pent up inside. Two out of ten days are difficult where there is a maddening urge to Fap, but eight out of ten days are easy and pose no problems whatsoever. Other than that, I can't really think of any downsides.

So that, in a nutshell, is my review of NoFap after five months.
Has it been worth it?

I would say - Yes indeed.

 

Many thanks to all of you for your kind and encouraging words. It feels as if we are one big family, always here for each other, always pushing ourselves forward in the face of adversities. Posting here has certainly been a correct decision.

I wish all of us many more challenges, because I know that with each other's support we will defeat each and every single one of them.