I think I know why I keep failing

Why would you need a passion? You have porn.

You hit the nail, the bullseye. Porn satiates urgency but offers no satiation. It’s not satisfying. No sense of accomplishment. Video games are marginally better, but if you’re playing PvE there’s always that knowledge that games are meant to be beaten. If it’s PvP, there’s something to be said for the competitive nature but you need that sweet spot of challenging, but not impossible. YouTube is designed to prevent satiation as well. They don’t want you feeling good enough to put it down, they want you watching more ads and feeding your personal profile. You need something you want to do, and feel good having done it.

Go on a quest. Find something you’re interested in. Maybe you can cycle old interests, or go seek new ones. I recommend regular, strenuous physical activity as one. Exercise helps mental health, as does time spent in “green spaces,” so outdoor running does both but you can find your own solution. Crossfit, maybe. Or backpacking. I also like BJJ. I recommend martial arts because of the confidence it can give you in a potentially violent situation, and BJJ is one where you can train closer to genuine combat speed without hurting your partner. That said, there’s nothing wrong with boxing, muay thai, tae kwon do, or any other that grabs your interest.

New hobbies can be expensive, so be careful with what you try and go for rentals or free options where you can. Plan well, and be sure to stick with it long enough to know whether you’re really into it or not. You could do paintball, table top gaming, guitar, survival prep, skateboarding, I’m into literature and fiction writing for reasons beyond my comprehension, motorcycle restoration, or how about this. Learn how to hack so you can bust up pedophile sites. Sounds like a decent use of time to me.

 

I agree.

I fundamentally disagree with the idea that a lot of people express that addiction is just caused by some bigger 'underlying' issue. Internet porn is inherently addictive, especially for adolescents. But having said that, it seems like the people who quit are those who have something to live for. You need a lot of motivation to get past addiction, it's a huge challenge. If you don't have something providing that motivation, it's really hard to do.

 

Same here. I just wake up, go to work for six days a week, run errands/adult responsibilities on the seventh day, play video games, watch youtube, and watch Netflix. Get myself invested in a show/game to distract myself from reality then go to work the next day. I wish I had friends, a girlfriend, and wasn’t so socially awkward.

 

There’s your purpose and passion, then. You have something better than a hobby. You’ve got a real, meaningful struggle in front of you. Get the hell out if that place. Sounds like you’re starting on the bottom rung of the ladder. You’re going to have to get out with wits and hustle.

I enlisted in the Army, and honestly, I recommend it if you can. There is risk and sheer stupidity, and misery to go around, but they teach you a skill and pay you. They feed and house you. You have benefits, and if you’re smart, you go for the education bonus instead of cash. Knock out four years, grab your honorable discharge, and then you have options. You can use your GI Bill to finish out at tech school, or go to University, or hang onto it and let a spouse or kid use it. You have four years military experience to help you get a new job. Just go for something that can roll over easily into the civilian sector, like commo, logistics, or mechanics. Don’t choose combat arms roles like Infantry, tanker, or cav scout, because those only translate to law enforcement or mercenary work.

If you can’t or don’t want to enlist, find a path for getting certified in plumbing, electricity, carpentry, masonry, welding, lineman, something skilled where you build or repair. Then go union. In those professions, they do a good job of making sure the businesses get quality work, and they also make sure the workers get a good salary and benefits.
Another option is to get a bus ticket to South Dakota and work roughneck in the oil fields. You don’t need anything but a high school diploma, and they make decent money. The downside is you live in South Dakota, but if you hate it, save your money instead of blowing it on weed and strippers like your peers will, and use it to move to something you like better.

If you’re not in the US I’m sorry, I have no idea how to get out of poverty anywhere else.

 

I think it's not uncommon for people to get into a new career slightly later in life. Whole industries collapse all the time, and people have to switch to something completely different.

 

I felt the exact same way to some degree, but the pandemic certainly helped in making me realize how much I hated being cooped up indoors.

Normally, I'm a homebody, though not quite a shut in. I did no extra-curricular/recreational activities after work or on weekends. Then the pandemic happened, followed by the lockdowns. I quickly came to hate not being able to go anywhere, not to mention being unemployed for most of it.

It wasn't just that, though. One thing that led to me relapsing so much was just feeling inferior as a human being. I felt disgusting, unworthy, unlovable, etc. Part of it was due to PMO, while the other part was incidences growing up. It wasn't until recently that I finally began to reverse this thinking; not through self-help, but through real experiences that proved that inner dialogue wrong. It made me realize that I was surrounded by terrible people/environments during my crucial years, while also lacking a permanent peer group due to constant moving. Childhood can have a huge impact on you.

I think understanding and solving these issues can contribute greatly to personal recovery.