Hi all 30M. Only had one gf in my life and that last like six months. All the other women that weee interested have been crazy, manipulative tomboy types. Idk it just sucks seeing everyone else live their lives with the person of their dreams and I am just told to get fucked
You're not unattractive; most women just have unrealistic standards. Only reason they don't suffer from the same loneliness is bc too many simps.
it´s as sad as it is true "if a girl gave me a chance, i´d give her the world" is what i used to think. But with the "FarFromWeak" movement i learned that girls hate desperation. they despite losers, and i am so whats attractive anyways? i´ve always feeled confused because i saw guys being complete assholes but attracting women. so i became an asshole, gave it a shot and it worked. everybody hated me. guess its just not the same when i do it.
I have seen some very unattractive men with very attractive females. I am a firm believer in being yourself, but if being yourself is not working out, then you might have some issues with your personality or mindset that needs worked on. I truly believe there is someone for everyone out there, you just need to be open minded enough to see where you are going wrong.
I'm sorry you feel this way, friend. I learned that I was unattractive about five years ago now, and it was a real eye-opener for me. It was the only thing that actually made sense at the time to explain my failure to find a partner. Meanwhile, as someone once said on this forum, there are tons of guys who spend years self-improving, only to end up getting nowhere with women (or whatever goal they were pursuing). As human beings, we don't like throwing in the towel, because it goes against our nature. I'm saying you should give up per se, but being around the same age as yourself, I had to realize some uncomfortable truths. For one, we all (mostly) hit puberty during middle school, which means that I went through middle school, high school, college, and finally to the present without women showing much interest. School is also when you're surrounded by the most people as well, and it only gets harder after that. Of course, I don't know your situation beyond what you've shared, but I knew for myself that I most likely had no chance with women. I decided to give up entirely, just so I didn't have to leave through any further embarrassment of approaching, getting rejected, being called a creep for the millionth time, etc. Ironically, I actually get along with women very well, but only ever as a friend or confidant. Admittedly, if I'm being extremely honest, it can get very depressing, cripplingly lonely and frustrating; your brain is constantly reminding you that this is as far as you can go. In fact, that's sort of where porn comes in. Many guys in our situation use it to alleviate the loneliness, and we even develop fantasies around it to numb the pain of rejection and hurt. Of course, that made me unhappy as well, and so I finally decided to give up porn altogether. Sometimes, when I read posts like the one you wrote, I wonder if Nofap is even worth it. Sure, I hated getting orgasm hangovers, and I hate how porn use can devolve into dark fantasies, but it's the only effective coping mechanism (at least for me) to live with the fact that the real thing is not accessible. After three decades, you just learn to face the fact that it's probably not going to happen. If you're happy with just sex (which I'm sure is not the case), that would be one thing. However, at the end of the day, we can't choose who loves up or finds us attractive, no matter how much hard work we put it. So I've chosen to live with the loneliness whenever it comes, and I've decided to live without porn as a coping mechanism, which has it's own side effects. I used to believe this when I first joined this forum, but now I've come to question this conclusion. If the main drivers of those standards didn't exist, I doubt most of the women who reject guys like me would be flocking to us. Women do in fact hate desperation, but I've come to realize in my lifetime that women aren't biologically capable of empathizing with male emotions in a romance context. Sure, mothers can empathize with their sons, but not so much with male partners. I think this is why men don't normally go to their partners for emotional support, or learn not to do so. You asked what is attractive, and you've sort of answered your own question. Women are attracted to attractive men, which most men aren't. Just look at the romance novel covers next time you're at the local library: if you don't look like that, then you probably aren't attractive. I'm sure that most of the time this happens, the man attracted her with money, or she's with him due to his fame (or both, in the case of Amber Heard). Regardless, I disagree that there's someone for everyone: Humans hate thinking about it, but in order for there to be winners there have to be losers. It's a difficult thing to accept, but it's the truth; sometimes you can do everything you know to do, only to fail.
I am not sure if its true but I hear often that finding ways to interact with people through your interests is a good way to start forming relationships which can help you feel less lonely and desperate as well as develop more connections which in turn might improve your chances of finding a partner
I feel your pain, brother. I’ve never had a serious gf, so at least you got to experience a romantic relationship even if it was short-lived. I find it hard to cope with the reality of my unattractiveness without using porn to numb the pain. I don’t know if you’ve been able to experience any increased attraction during a long streak (90 days+), but I’m hoping to see this work for me in the coming months. My unattractiveness has been a lifelong struggle for me, and at the age of 26 I’m starting to lose hope. I hope your nofap journey brings you the increased attraction you need to find a fulfilling relationship. I’ve heard stories about this working for other guys on here, and I hope it works for us as well. God speed, brother.
As others have said, you're probably not unattractive, just normal. Modern society is a cesspit that has warped the perspectives of men and women but in different ways. It's partly the result of technology and societal/cultural change and partly a deliberate effort to destroy the common bonds people are supposed to have with each other. Turn men into porn addicted losers and turn women into entitled harpies with insane standards and you have a surefire recipe for demographic collapse.
Being attractive would be awesome, but if like me, you are not attractive, you should still be able to find a woman. I had many attractive girlfriends even though I could be considered ugly by any standards. What worked for me was being confident, even when I didn't feel confident. I always believed that I should be able to date any women that I see if she would give me a chance. As far as the woman of your dreams, most of us don't have that. We are lucky if we have a woman that is attractive to us, good company, a supporting partner, but she probably doesn't look like a super model. If she does look like a model, she's probably high maintenance and a pain in the a@@ in the long-term. When you find your date, just go out there and be a friend. If it turns into a mutual attraction, you will have found the women of your "dreams."
