Is this a normal behavior or is it being sick? What to do?

jumperabv4 · Nov 6, 2023

So I'm not into porn and I don't watch porn, I used to watch webcams but not doing this anymore, the only thing I feel "addicted" to is escorts, and I'm not having sex with them like real sex but more like looking into fulfilling some "fantasy" that doesn't involve sex and then it could happen to me once every 2-4 weeks or so ... once I fulfill it I feel "relaxed" for the next set of a few weeks until the urge comes back again.

I am not sure if this is normal or not, if this behavior can be seen as OK or maybe something's wrong with me ... I am not too sure how to look at it, but I feel like deep down inside I'd have preferred to avoid all this.

Any ideas or suggestions what to do next?

Bob8 · Nov 6, 2023

Its definitely a good thing for you to address; i would say from my opinion, yes it's an issue, its abnormal (but not un-common) and clearly unhealthy for you, if the addiction is making you feel bad / guilty / doubting your actions, it's something that needs to be looked at and re-considered... how much is it costing you each time?

Bonus points on the fact you don't consume porn, we all have our vices! don't beat yourself up about this, but definitely a great thing that you've opened up and taken a look at before it gets too out of hand, you can turn this around.

Bob8 · Nov 6, 2023

If you can afford it, i would seek some form of therapy, as to pinpoint why you're doing this, or can you be honest with yourself? is it insecurity, lack of confidence, or just for thrills?

jumperabv4 · Nov 6, 2023

Probably just the thrill, I don't feel like I need it on a constant basis, it's not something I need on a regular basis

Peiskos · Nov 6, 2023

I'm not sure if I understand entirely, you see escorts and the fantasy is not having sex with them but just spending time with them?

Hello Jake · Nov 7, 2023

jumperabv4 said: ↑

Probably just the thrill, I don't feel like I need it on a constant basis, it's not something I need on a regular basis
Click to expand...

2 to 4 weeks is pretty regular though!
I get the urge to, like watching P, once you’ve done it you immediately regret it!
Professional help could be great. I would like that but have absolutely no idea what sort of pro help? Congnitive therapy perhaps. It’s like anything, it’s only a problem if it’sa problem for you. It is fairly common so you’re not alone!

GeorgeJetson · Nov 8, 2023

I will mirror what others have said since a few members responded with good stuff. It's definitely good that you're considering addressing the issue as it sounds like you personally feel it's an issue. And as others have mentioned, therapy can work wonders...that is, if you have access to a therapist and they are a good fit. Being open and honest in a non judgemental environment is something I personally advocate for. It's worked wonders for me and many others within this community. There is likely some underlying factors contributing to your desires, and a therapist could potentially help you get to the bottom of it.

As for the escorts, I can definitely relate as my porn addiction eventually progressed in to cam sex, Asian massage parlors, and private escorts. I'm a married man with children and a fantastic career. Engaging in certain behaviors could clearly impact my life, and the life of others, in a major way. I'm here to be sober and stay stopped.

Message me anytime if you want to chat. I am always willing. Wishing you the best!

jumperabv4 · Nov 10, 2023

Thanks everyone,

I used to go to therapy for it, just like I did with gambling a long time ago, but I learned how to control my gambling, and today I can gamble and don't go excessively over it.

Therapy for porn etc. taught me that it's like a gym - you need to exercise, the more you exercise yourself to avoid porn etc. then the better it would be.

I posted this on Monday and today is Friday and thankfully I'm feeling great without the need of consuming more of it now, but I'm worried and concerned about the future, I want to build fences or do whatever it takes to improve it. I am thinking more of reading books about this topic, I feel like books are better than one session, because they transmit so much valuable information.

I did the same with gambling, I used to gamble without even knowing what I'm doing, today if I'm taking a risk at gambling I'm taking a very, very calculated risk, I choose my bets based on factors, such as teams that used to score less a few years ago and now they are over teams etc., I don't always watch what I'm betting on, many times I just watch the game for the sake of enjoying it, or even watching it physically without betting on it.

So gambling is not the same, some say you need to stay away from gambling for good, like permanently, so for me it's not, but this addiction - yes, there is no grey area here, I want to avoid it completely, it's not like gambling at all, isn't it?

WhiteLion · Nov 10, 2023

It kind of sounds like you are just looking for someone to spend your time with, but there are other ways of getting that.

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Is this a normal behavior or is it being sick? What to do?

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