Coming Back after more than 4 years to this account ALWAYS KEEP FIGHTING

What's up!
Day 1 done again.
Had some urges but nothing physical they were just my brain craving dopamine.
Hit the gym with cardio sauna and abs and had a great dinner.
My gf sent me today a picture of a work she did for one of her classes and it just light up my heart.
I can't describe the sensation I felt, it was like for a moment seeing something that you could she she had spend time and dedication on it and was beautiful and was sharing it with me like a kid would show his parents just felt heartwarming.
I felt so grateful to have her in my life.
Then I realized, when I am in that mental mode it's impossible to PMO or MO to fantasy, it's just impossible. Like I don't want to, I don't need to, there is nothing that can make me do it during that moment.
But after when the urge comes, when the thought to MO comes, that feeling gets replaced with selfishness and greed. Definitely someone I don't want to be.
Something to think about, I have to be more in control, not only for me but for her. She deserves it.
I have to maintain this grateful feeling.
One more day boys, gonna meditate journal and pray!
Tomorrow will be good InshaAllah

 

The trick is to not work out too late, I must finish my workout by 19.30 otherwise I will be too active at night

 

Unless they are very personal you can ask them here, I'm sure more people will benefit as well!
As well if you have any urge feel free to write here, can be useful to describe what you are feeling, usually our brain acts like not acting on the urge is a matter of live or death but when you rationalize you realize it's not

 

Day 2 is getting to an end and honestly I'm a bit bummed.
I don't have any physical urges but I do mentally ones.
I've had a long day, I feel like a failure, even though I'm nowhere near the level of all the people I grew up with, I have 4x salary than they do, I am living on my own, saving a lot and have a great job in paper. I have no hope for the future today. It's one of those days, I just want to quit and travel the world.
Fuck it if I could, disappear and live a hippie life.
Would probably be happier, who knows, today it surely feels like it.
I'm scared for the future, what my life is going to look like in 5 , 10 years?
Will I just keep working the same shit corporate soulless job, selling my life for money like a slave, not being able to take more than 25 days a year of holiday. I have no faith today, and the argument that some people have it worse doesn't really help. No gratitude either. I just want to forget about reality.
I was an asshole to my gf before when she tried to talk and help me, but I know me, when the dark days come, it feels like a fucking black cloud above me of hopelessness and darkness.
Gotta fight the urges, remind myself all is in God's hands, to have faith, sounds like a joke when I write it, I wanna cry and let out the rage.
Just fight one more day I guess, and tomorrow will be a new day

 

Day 3 just got done with work, long day to be honest and not super productive. Back at home, some urges but I had a call with a good friend from SA yesterday and feeling stronger, at least in the surface. Will update later tonight

 

Day 4 done, amazing day, found out a gossip that there are some female co-workers that are into me and they were saying I have a nice physique,not that I want anything with them but it's still nice to know and get the ego boost. Had a blast with some co-workers after work and have no urges, yesterday was hard, edged a bit but no PMO or MO.
Happy with progress some days are harder others are easier

 

Day 5 almost done but anyway I'll be out of my place for now so no risk.
Amazing day, got another compliment from another 2 female coworkers, they said I look massive, muscle wise. Feels amazing really, but not in an egotistical way, I feel clean and clear in my mind, I see them as little sisters and that is a nice way to view women around me, certainly shows the advance vs my first post here 4 years ago Alhamdulillah
Stay strong kings

 

Day 6 is going hard. Had a good workout in the morning but after I came back home I've been edging or super horny. I think it has to do with the fact that I miss my gf and I miss being alone, like not having her to hug or touch at all. Just drives me crazy this kind of solitude. On top of that I must have crazy high testosterone, because I feel really like a bull right now. Edged a bit and peeked to some TikTok dances but closed it now and did not PMO. Struggle and I think I am going to walk it off

 

Failed an MO no porn but still feeling not great. I'm my defense I really had built up a lot of retention