new here

So I'm gonna go by my nickname Poetus and this is who I am. I'm 20 years old and I've been struggling with porn since I was 16. I can't maintain an erection and I honestly am addicted to porn and masturbation. At first, I watched basic videos and got my fix. However over a period of 4 years, I started getting turned on by even more weirder things. I also eventually became a peeping tom and started watching people while getting my fix and eventually to stalking on some level. The truth is though I was raised in a good Christian family. My mother is a teacher and my dad is a pastor. I was brought up with good moral values and every day I feel more damned and ashamed of the man I had become. To be honest I've never really had a girlfriend, my whole life has been more about sexual encounters. I really never looked at a girl as a person but more as a piece of meat. I never really cared about getting to know a girl and instead wanted her for the way she looked. I'm currently in college right now at a good university trying to get my degree in criminal justice. I want to eventually go on and become a prison chaplain and help give guidance to inmates in prison. The only downside to that is I have to go to grad school and I also have to be in the army for a number of years as a religious leader. I have so much ambition and desire, however this illness causes me a lot of pain and suffering. I want to be able to fall in love one day, have kids and just make love to my wife and try to be happy.

My goal for NoFap is to stop this for good. I want to be able to live my life without always feeling dirty, sleepy, alone or depressed. Instead, I want to feel clean, confident and like nothing is impossible. I want to have a girlfriend, fall in love for the first time and have my brain clean.

Some backstory about me, I've been in two frats within the last 4 years ( switched universitys) I've also been really dedicated to gym ( weigh 230 at 5"11 toned out)

I lived a lifestyle that was nothing but the wrong things but I've also tried to bounce back. When I was in the frats my first two years my grades really took hits, I've managed to get my grades back up and I'm happy with that. However, I've realized that fapping is messing up my school and my workouts.

On the side from NoFap, I will workout regularly 6 days a week, 3 hours a day
I will read the bible, I have this app called bible gateway
I will eat healthy and clean
I will be on this site regularly.

Thank you guys for reading this.
I have gone one day now without fapping and this is really the start
of something new.