Looking for others to check in with once every 1-2 weeks

I'm a married grad student with 1 child and 1 on the way. I had a good experience with this community when I was an undergrad a few years ago and had some success in feeling more in control of my own life. I've recently had some individual counselling to talk through my more recent issues using porn and came here to find some regular interaction with people in this community. Nothing formal, just wanting to connect with others going through similar experiences to not feel alone, maybe even form some friendships. I am starting the 90 day challenge today, but I'd appreciate interaction with any others who are interested in fixing their PMO habits.

 

Thanks!

 

Thanks!

 

Thanks! It came to mind after discussing my issues over a few individual counseling sessions. The sessions were coming to an end so I figured it’d be a helpful transition to help reach my goals

 

Sorry to hear that. The relational consequences are very tough to deal with. Something that’s helped me specifically with feeling guilty about the negative consequences that my wife deals with because of my porn use is to remind myself that the reason I want to stop using porn is primarily for myself. Certainly the people I care about and are close to me are impacted when I use porn, but it’s a helpful reminder for me that I’m doing this so that I can be the best version of myself, and that’s the most important thing for maintain healthy relationships for me.

I only intend to log in once every week or two but feel free to reach out if you’re looking to share what you’re going through!

 

Seems like many keep their threads going as a way to stay active so I decided to share something here I shared in a DM about what I'm learning:

One thing I learned recently about my relationship with p that I found kind of surprising is that I've used it as kind of substitute for using my time for things I enjoy. Ever since I got married, grad school, and especially since having kids, I've spent a lot less time investing in hobbies and interests I used to enjoy like music, games, etc. It takes a lot less time to get a quick dopamine hit with p than those hobbies, but it's less fulfilling in the long run. I only noticed this when my counsellor and I were discussing habits as a consisting of a trigger, behaviour, and reward, and they asked me what the reward was for a trigger I had mentioned which was opportunity (like noticing there's a window of time available, or that you cannot fall asleep while everyone else has). The realization really helped me to realize that part of keeping my p habits in check is to more intentionally invest in those interests and hobbies, as much as I can anyway.