Yep so girlfriend left me because I didn't had sex with her we have been together for 10 months and I always kept making excuses and so on well basicaly ignored the issue and foolishly believed it will work out by itself. Sooo when the big brake up took place I said that its cuz I care about her too much and since I gained a little bit weight I felt ashamed she still said no, no, no I had enough. She did mentioned other issues but its more like she didn't wanted to say straight "you can't please me, fuck off" Anyway I made a deal with her that she shouldn't be rushing anywhere and she will see positive changes in me and I will sort everything out but the problem is I can't! What I want is some advice so from time to time I use generic vigra and everything was cool with other girls but when it comes to her it just go flaccid!! For some reason vigra helps when I have girl on top and she always refuses to go on top only missionary and blow/hand job is out of the question. I stoped porn for 2 weeks now but I need to have a proper sex in missionery soon if not this weekend then next any suggestion? I go limb whenever I go on top and everything is fine when we make out and etc.
Outside of the bedroom, I'd have an open and honest discussion about sex. As a man one of the toughest things about having any kind of ED problem happens when my partner won't go for any direct sort of stimulation. So I definitely know where you are coming from there. I think the open honest discussion would help.
Yeah well in this situation it won't help... Now I'm a bit lost when we meet for a coffe or something and everything is casual we both laugh have a great time but whenever I text her something about our relationships I mean anything even if its small thing she completle ignores me then when I text something casual she reply as if I never texted her those other messages.. Oh and of course she texting me like 2 hours later and when I ask why it took her so long she goes "its not like I'm having a shower with my phone"....
Well I can only tell you - When I was PMOing I could only get fuck a girl when she was on top. I think that's because I always masturbated on my back so I was conditioned to have a girl ride me, and I preferred girl on top videos. As you go on with rebooting, you'll be able to do missionary, or whatever style you want. As for this girl, I understand. Cant tell you how many gfs i had that were spoiled as fuck, always demanding I do something for them. Now I know that it IS our fault for not being able to preform, that's why we are doing nofap. I think its safe to say that if you didn't have PIED than you guys wouldn't be arguing. But forreal "you can't please me, fuck off"??? Damn wtf that's harsh. Have you guys had sex during the 10 month you've been together? Edit: Tell her something like "I like it when your on top your so cute when you [insert cowgirl reference here] me." and be assertive about it.
No, no she didn't said "fuck off you can't please me" I meant she didn't wanted to say that but I realise thats the case. I just met her and it was like speaking with a wall or smth.. It doesn't matter what I tell her she just says no and that's it. So basicaly I said a lot of things like I care about her and I don't want to waste her time and ruin her life by not alowing to be in proper relationships but I wish to make her happy and I promised I can fix everything and change myself to be better and that I know I tend to be pushy and being pushy isn't helpful which is why think about what I said today and just text me yes or no in a week if no then I'll back off for good. Dunno I doubt I could do anything better because even when I say I want her on top she refuses it we did had sex only one time when she was on top and that's it.. The worst part is I realised it all the time and I tried to get over it but when she's being a b**** I relapse because I trying hard very hard and she keeps ignoring my efforts... Obviously I realise now that it was because of sex which is my fault but it feels like my decision been blinded and I ignored my issues blaming it all on her... Ech... I hope it will work out but I don't give much hope for it.
I think you just need to relax and take a step back at first. Do you still have feelings for this girl? do you love her? Give her some time and don't smother her with all of the issues in your relationship. Start from scratch if need be. I hope you're not still looking at porn or at least cutting back and that's why you're here. Anyway, at the end of the day it doesn't really matter if you've gained weight unless it really bothers her and you want to change it. It seems like you really care about her, I hope she feels the same way. The best advice I can give you at this time is to just try to work on yourself for now. Try to stay calm and try to exercise if you want because it might help both your nerves and blood flow at the same time
Yep that's one of the issues I brought up to her. I'm pushy and constantly overthinking things so I keep smothering her. To be honest when I think about it was me who got her to brake up with me because I knew that sex is big thing and when she's acting well strange or just being mad for no reason I was afraid she will leave me and I kept on asking "why is it like that...." And at one point she had enough of it and said it. If I would have first solved my issues with sex it might have worked out a little bit different but you know self-controll isn't easy.. Especialy when I tend to think about it 24/7 which doesn't let me focus on my studies, work and everything else I do. I stopped with porn completely I know that 2 weeks isn't a lot but this was my eye opener and I have like 0 urge for it. I believe I blew it.. But somehow your words put me at ease even if she says no I will fix my issues, will get fit and I will try to get together again in slow and non-pushy way. Thanks a lot.
No idea how old you two are. Age and maturity plays a lot into the equation. I was able to deal with my bf issues because I've been in crappy relationships and with us it was just sex was the issue. I was willing to stay because he is a loving and good man. 2nd. If you love her tell her the truth. It's hard but you need to.
Me 25 she's 28 so I believe we are mature enough? Oh and she still said no and I haven't spoke with her for a whilw now. Yeah well it wasn't just a sex but when I think about it its all connected I mean I couldn't satisfy her and whenever we spoke about cheating you know just casual discussion she always said things like "when a women cheats it's a man fault" which made me over protective and she isn't kind of person who likes to speak about her feelings and I always try to get to the bottom why she's moody and etc. I mean everything started from lack of sex which made her angry because of it then I became angry because she's angry I quit on nofap because I was like why the fuck I should care about her if she's like that then I realise that it's my fault and that I care for her, and then she's mad again then again, and again.. When I think about it we been in a loop which I doubt it could have ended any differently because neither of us are that kind of person which would come forth and tell everything straight. I mean yes its my duty as a man but it just happened. And dunno I doubt it would be helpful if I would tell her the truth because I told her a lot of my other secrets and she didn't even blinked like she still go out with me when I ask her but she does those blank eyes listens to me and at the end she goes like "its still no". Although strange thing is that I'm dunno how to put it, I'm cocky, funny, smart type guy? And for example at our last meeting I told her something like "well you know since this might be our last meeting I believe that we should have a kiss for goodbye like we used to" and she didn't really minded it so we made out for a while. I'm just curious if its because she's sorry for me, honestly don't care if she likes a guy and makes out with anyone or she still likes me. :x Oh and I used similair line for like 3 times and all of them were sucessfull
Well, all you can do is leave the ball in her court. If she truly wants to be with you she will make contact. I believe if it's meant to be, it will be. If things don't work with her there could be your perfect someone out there. Get yourself healthy! Keep your mind busy with things that will improve yourself. I love my man unconditionally. That is true love. We are in this together.
Yep I'm starting to think like that at first I thought that I'll get better like no PMO, lose some weight and become better overall then contact her hang out casualy and some how start over but now I believe that it's more of a one sided fellings... So it might be best to leave her be maybe she'll find someone better... Anyway thanks for the help.
She could find someone worse too. Hell I've traded down many times in my life. WTF!!! ahhhh! Hang in there and don't beat yourself up. Keep positive!
I'm 44, and our sex life (with GF for 3 years) started to suffer from me PMO to much. I'm on day eight of a reboot, and we had the best sex Saturday night in a long time. Now I know it's worth it. It might take some time for your body to adjust. The last GF I had, 5 year relationship, was never good, sex or otherwise. When we broke up, I spent a year doing self analyzation off all aspects of the failed relationship, how we treated each other, what I wanted, and the sex, or lack there off. And maybe, she's not the right one for you. It's a new year, great time to push the reset button on your life, and figure out the sex issues before engaging in another relationship.
Loong update: Soo didn't PMO'ed for around a month! So she texted me few times like "happy christmas" and then happy new years after few days she texted me again casualy like how you been and etc. We had some casual talk then I asked if she missed me she texted me smily face then I asked her again and she said she doesnt want to speak about it.. So I said its all cool I meant as a friend and that I promised her to leave her alone plus a lot of things changed in other words I said it has nothing to do with me liking her. Again we texted each other casualy and decided to meet on monday. We meet up again some casual talk I asked her why she didnt liked my new sexy fb pic she said that she thought about it but decided it was a bad idea. I went its all cool dont think like that. Then she said something like "you know why I texted that" waitress interupted us and when I asked her again what she meant she said, she doesnt remember. Soo whats next?
Should I try hard approach? Like take her for a romantic evening? But then again any honest and sweet talk didn't do any good so maybe I should just let her be for a while? Which is haaard. :x
sounds like she doesnt want a sexual/romantic relationship with you dude. If shes txting stuff like "i dont wanna speak about it" I would just leave it alone. Sounds like she just wants to be a friend. Sorry
Yeah I was all like "yappy"! I mean I tought I could make her attracted to me again I realise she doesn't want anything with me right now. But when I thknk about it clearly I should just tell her to stop texting me and delete all contacts I have because this shit will kill me as if she does that on purpose.
I apologize in advance if you see this response as mean or rude at least shell know ur not fucking around in the friendzone. If you really wanna get back with this girl you have to be aggressive, - even if she doesn't respond to the aggressive, alpha male - ALL women recognize when a man is serious and had enough. Idk u dude, so no offense, but to me it sounds like your in denial. If you wan the hard truth of what i think based on the information you've given me - This girl clearly see's you as weak, and unable to preform sexually and thus please her; she see's you as a beta male, someone she would call a brother not a lover, and if you dont take action now, she'll go and find another more powerful male who CAN please her and is no afraid to speak their mind. Now Im taking time outa my day (which is fine, its on my accord, + I dont have anything to do anyway lol) but Ima tell you what you should say if you want ANY chance of getting this girl back, tell her how you really feel, tell her how angry you are at her for not talking about your relationship. To be honest at this point its slim you will get her back, I know these things and while I havent scored with hundreds of girls I have been with enough to tell you that women dont want bullshit weak shit, they want the straight truth. Your next text WILL go like this You: "I want u, now. I'm tired of this bs with us I wanna see you like do u want me or not..." Her: (most likely response) "Idk I dont rly wanna tallk about us right now, I told u I dont wanna talk about it You: "fuck this shit, u dont want me then fuck it im done dont txt me, dont call me, i treated you well and u wont even tallk about us. I'll find some other girl who'll actually do right for me!!" TL;DR the point is shell knw ur serious and if she wants you she wants you and you have to take the initiative told get her back - and - the other is she wants nothing to do with you. Find out, stop playing games dude, I know how hard it can be to let a girl u like go but times like these she can go online or tinder or whtever and find some dude. Do it or be done with her - and thatss all I gatta say hope that helps let me knw how it goes and ill advise u on ur nexxt move if she response positively or negatively.
Its cool nothing offensive with that. Yeah I believe its hard to give an advice when you hardly know a person. Its not like I was almost crying when I spoke with her about getting back toghether a while back. I was dunno moderate aggresive its hard to put all conversions in here. (My english is far from great) lol we are quite similair I always been aproaching my ex'es like that but never ever worked out. Always did an ultimatum either lets get back or forget me even as a friend.. This way is good because after this you'll have to stop chasing her and your reputation/self respect wont go down to the toilet.. Buut this time is different because I dont care about my reputation then again I know that showing weekness is a worst thing a man could do. When I said "romantic evening" its seems like whiny guy move. But I tought about it like still being cool.. Emm.. For example I bet she would go like "we talked about this" and I would say "whats wrong with that its not like Im asking you to go out with me or anything I just took you for a date". You know like keep it cool no whining and admiting it basicaly my fault all went down. In other words being mature and start over rather than getting back toghether. I believe I blew my chances because I meet up with her so soon should have just pretended to be cold hearted answered her texts and thats it. And then after meet her when I could have shown her some kind of change its all been too soon. Of course Im not a mind reader but I think she could have missed me because its early and I been swalowing quite a bit of her free time but I agree with you I doubt it has anything more than friendly meaning. lol funny thing is since I had problems with PIED being friends or dating doesnt make a lot of difference..
