Hey guys, firstly I was writing this to rebooting section, that I decided to look at it differently and therefore here I am. I am in day 66, i didn´t feel urge for a month. Until yesterday I saw some triggers and went from them away. Today morning I looked at some naughty pictures and one video online - i have these porn blocker but you know, when you want something really much... you know what i mean. Anyway I looked at the video for 10sec and I shut it down and went here to write this down. I guess something has changed, I feel urges again. And I like it, it is a struglle again, I thought long time I am dead inside. The process has changed - and I see that I have to be ready all the time! Ok, it is time to put on my armor again and battle has been renewed! I see this can be very tracherous - you think you are healed and then.. bammmm.... This is first time after 66days I edged - but i didnt touch myself at all and I keep going. I need cold shower now, then I go for swim, there I can beat my energy up.
I'd say this is a success story, slamming that laptop shut was a success, it's just a little blip as far as the big picture is concerned you are winning, keep that chin up and start again but with more tools to succeed once and for all, I know what u mean about porn blockers too, were the pics and vids pornograghic? to succeed you must be true to yourself I had a similar experience at day 53 and even though it was tough to admit it I had to start again BUT I felt happy that it was just a blip and I am now on day 18.
Hey bro, I'm pretty new to this whole thing but I know exactly how to feel. I've gone a month before with little to no issues then all of a sudden *BAM* it hits you! Keep your chin up! You can do this!
Yeah, I am gonna beat this f*cking devil down. I have been reading "Outwitting the devil" it is so inspiring book! Anyway, i did peek to some porn material but went directly away. I know this is very dangerous, thats why I have to stay away my room as long as possible today. But as I said in the title - my guard is up again and thats important cause i know he is a good guard and he can do it!
The awareness you maintained that allowed you to close the vid after few seconds, that's awesome, I applaude that. I would've probably lost at that point, that's why I am very strict about peeking: because 99% is a bitch, 100% is a breeze.
