Started NoFap 2011 to turn my life around. I was failing college due to dis-interest and felt looked down upon in my fraternity community, and was not sociable in school. Kept on leaving my girl friend because somehow I kept finding fault in her. After-all, a man raised in the Western world was supposed to have multiple sexual liaisons before settling down. It gradually became clear that it was the porn, not her. Quitting porn helped tremendously in life. Things got precipitously better by the day. Times were particularly hard when a stressful event came up that I had to face. But every-time the animal instinct is defeated, I gained an ounce more of self-mastery. The world also lit up. I discovered the wisdom of tradition. And as a psychology student, I became fascinated by it. How did tradition know about things that we are only attempting to prove through science that remain contentious? The mystery of commonsense indeed! Then breaking free of my militant Atheism, I began the serious study of religious texts through online Rabbis, who are some of the Wisest and most intellectual people I have access to. I filled my time with bible movies, which was a great source of inspiration. I was entranced by the mystery and the world-view it opened up and captivated by the psychological research I was conducting. My research on sex differences has also brought to light the cognitive-styles related to belief (elaboration upon request) and felt, and still feel, that it is my purpose to bring glory to God. I have also obtained the position to conduct more research on the matter I began attending the local Christian fellowship for people my age (19-28). I thought I was becoming more and more attuned to God. One day, I even woke up early at 9:00 am to go explore a Pentecostal church (the branch of Christianity dedicated to the holy spirit). We hung out for sushi afterwards. As happy-go-lucky as they are as a group, I felt a deep sterility of desire in the conversation. Somebody would bring up the topic of girls but change the conversation completely. I went home that day hoping to find the same inspiration in scriptural movies. I was out of good ones to watch (there aren't many great movies on God). Within me, I felt my spirit expunged. Perhaps that night was another milestone in quitting porn and I was merely getting used to the low levels of stimulation associated with distancing myself even further from porn. Nevertheless, that night, I relapsed. From then on, I quit again for 175 days. But have just arrived at the end of a binge. Before the initial relapse, at the end of three years of abstinence, I began to really treat women as people (yes, it took that long!). It is very subtle, and memories of it are fickle, but I really felt as if they were my sisters. And that I want to help them with the fulfillment of their lives as much as for myself. This isn't from wanting to be sexually acquainted with them either. I have a fiance whom I love. Although I think some of the girls did not know how to properly understand my kindness given how few people act this way around me. I felt charismatic, powerful, keen, inspired, and I had a burning desire to make the world better. But lately, I can't find the motivation to quit. Whilst initially quitting, the information on yourbrainonporn.com served as a great source of mental stimulation, which aided in resisting cravings. But I've read everything there is. I know what is going to be on the page before scrolling through it. All the reports are of people who have abstained less days than I have and there is little that is new after reading 40+ nofap reports. I just wish I can find the inspiration and motivation again to quit. If anyone has a good mystical/religious text on sexuality please let me know. I find that many of them are inspired but poorly structured and difficult to comprehend, and difficult to accept because it was overly new-agey. I humbly solicit anyone's advice on the matter, whether a beginner or an expert. I feel like I am being sucked back into it and I am helpless in resisting. Maybe I have to hit bottom again. I hope it won't have to come to that.
It is no nice to meet you Wow! Mantak_Chia -_Taoist_Secrets_of_Love: there is a lot of good stuff on semen retention good for reprogramming the brain. I am reading it at the moment if you want to join me. The main thing is to stop edging once and for all 100% there is no other way around it. You need 100% commitment you know what the reward will be and that attitude towards others will come back much quicker the second time round I am sure. What more incentive could you want. I can also give you a Buddhist text that will show you exactly what will happen if you don't become free of your negative emotions and it is not pretty and you wont be able to get out of it. You have to free yourself asap. Sometimes we need this reality check. Anyway you know all this stuff but I am reminding you and I am on the journey too if you would like to be my friend.
As horrible as the addiction is, combating it sure brings people together. Let's keep in touch. Your encouragement is spot on. I hope so too. It may be that I have forgotten what the rewards and punishments are. Having built up my social skills, relapsing isn't so devastating because I can follow cognitive rules to maneuver through situations. But I have received strange looks. As the Rabbis say, wisdom makes the face glow with light. Porn likely dims it with a tint of death. Please send over the text. I think I need some negative reinforcement more than positive ones. I'd like to hear more about what you read. Buddhists are especially attentive to their practices, and the outcome that can be expected. I tried to read the Perfect Matrimony. It kind of drives me up a tree, especially when they demonize other religions such as Judaism, as common in Christianity. Thank you so much for your help!
Words of My Perfect Teacher by Patrul Rinpoche Dalai Lama calls this the ABC of spirituality. It is a pre requisite for all Tibetan Buddhists of all schools. It shows the harsh reality of what happens if you continue to indulge in negative emotions but most importantly the clear advantages of the alternative.
I would recommend @AlltheRageBackHome - I don't think he'd mind the referral. also, I think this is a nice place to hang out on here - http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-master-series-3-000-years-of-wisdom.39280/ also, OSHO and Robert Bly - https://www.youtube.com/user/MensConference stuff I find pretty interesting.
Well, I definitely advise looking into semen retention, and especially the book suggested above: Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia. I'm sure many of us could write a whole essay of all the cons that are associated with binge masturbation. You sound like a pretty level headed guy. You've abstained long enough to know the negative effects of PMO, and in fact, because you abstained for so long, you might actually end up worse if you continue to go down this dark path. Why? Because the illusion of PMO that you are creating might become stronger than the newbie who engages this path for the first time. You're now forgetting why you had such a strong passion and enthusiasm for this in the first place. You just need to allow yourself to remove the scales from your eyes once again, just like you did the first time. You've read all of the accounts of how excessive PMO causes ED amongst other things. You could potentially become someone who has the same problems. Your semen is your essence, it is your life force. Many say this nowadays as if it's some sort of cliché, but no, it's literal. The Taoists talk about this all in depth, and they explain the real soul and spiritual reasons as to why we feel sudden benefits when semen is stored and cultivated. Semen is like petrol to a car. It heightens your genius and brings fire to your character, which is exactly why you said you were more charismatic, and without even trying too. There are many incredible stories about men centuries ago in Eastern Asia who stored their semen their whole life and were able to do things that you wouldn't believe. Draining out your semen catches up with you. It really does. I'd also advise you to work through the underlying issues for using PMO as an escape mechanism. What was the emotion that drove you to break your 1000 day relapse? Think back, because that is the emotion you need to face. Was it stress, loneliness? We tend to over mystify super natural abilities... To someone who might have social anxiety, that charismatic charm that your jing (semen) enabled you to tap into may be somewhat super natural to someone with depression or social anxiety. Since cultivating my semen and sending it back into my brain each time, I have found myself with many different abilities... Not needing as much food and sleep to get through the day, abnormal bursts of energy throughout the day, lifting triple the amounts of weights that I normally could, without having having much sleep, and none of it is a struggle either. I could genuinely make a list. It goes on and on, and I'm only at the beginning of this incredible journey. When you learn to send the jing to the brain, your rebooting happens faster and so does the benefits. I'm already noticing that charisma bubbling up inside of me as well. All fears about all things are leaving. Get back on the path, mate. It is the way to living a higher consciousness, to be free from the prison and bondage of society, to tap into new realms. Don't be blinded by what you see now. You begin this life with a certain amount of essence. Throwing away your jing endlessly can deplete it, which is why many men feel that their lust for life is disappearing etc... You might think you're okay right now, but one day the negative effects such as ED and other things will creep on you out of the blue and strike at full force with no mercy. Come back to the one and only true way that a man is supposed to live in this world.
Hard to find the truth in a society so full of noise. Reason misleads. Good work saves. You have my thanks! Happy new years and may you find blessing in your work.
Hi bro. Yeah it's conscious. It is about learning to ride the wave of arousal. So, in times where you feel horny or aroused, you can meditate and just use your intentions to rise that energy upwards. This is your Kundalini energy. If it helps, you can just picture it moving upwards from your spine and into the brain. You can do this while you're just walking around getting on with your day, constantly managing your sexual energy, moving it around your body at your own will. Remember, it's your sexual energy and you can manipulate it around the body however you want. It doesn't have to remain lodged in the stomach area. Does that help?
I have just read your last post and this sentence peaked my interest. I have always felt this feeling when I have been horny, that sits in my stomach area and/or just above my stomach like in the centre of my body. I just thought it was a deep hunger for masturbation and it would only really go when I MO. I thought it was just me but now I think it could be this sexual energy you talk about? Btw this feeling, it's hard to explain. It doesn't hurt or feel like a mass or anything. It just simply is there...
Yeah it's sexual energy bro. It's the most powerful energy we have, and it can be directed around the body, to our choice. What ever a man chooses to do is his own choice, but I really encourage all men to go with a semen retaining life, as we don't even need to ejaculate to have an orgasm. You can have more intense orgasms without ejaculation. In fact, orgasm and ejaculation are not even connected. The only time now that I'll need to ejaculate is only if I'm making a child. Another time is honestly not mention, since I can now do whatever a man who ejaculates does, and more now.
