Enough is Enough

I thank God I found this site. At first, I thought it was a joke. I shrugged it off and continued down my self-destructive behavior. Then, something just snapped in my head New Years Day.

WARNING: There may be some trigger words, so if you're sensitive to words proceed with caution.

Now, I'm sure most of you can relate.

I'm a 25 year old male who has been into PMO since I was about 10 years old. I stumbled onto a porn site by accident (I bullshit you not). I was playing video games, most notably Alien Vs Predator Gold edition. I was looking for map add-ons and such through a search engine. Keep in mind, I was only about 10 years old at the time. At the time, the advanced filters for search engines did not exist. I stumbled onto a site that was actually a porn site. My heart started beating, I got excited and I started touching myself. It was the first time I've ever felt anything like that. So from then on, I started to do it almost every weekend afterschool. By High school, I was PMOing daily. My grades didn't suffer but my will power went out the window. As I went to college, everybody was hooking up and getting laid except me and a few other guys in the dorm. I was still touching myself. When I left college, I started to up the ante with different categories of porn. At first, it was couples having sex. Then it advanced to M-M-F threesome. It then turn into orgies/group sex. It then went to gangbangs. It then went to facial abuse. Then creampies. Then gangbang creampies. Then public humiliations. It just kept getting weirder and weirder.

Yes, my mind was destroyed and I've turned into a complete pervert.

Anyway, I started to really think about my life this past 2015. I started to look back and realize why I didn't go anywhere with my life. My addiction to porn kept me stagnate and complacent. It drained me of energy and vitality (literally). I was looking tired as hell all the time. I was moody all the time. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't interact with people. I would get nervous around people, especially pretty looking girls. I would always get mad for no reason.

I remember a while back in 2010, when I went overseas. I had no internet access. I do remember something very vividly...I felt ALIVE again. It was as if I was reborn once again. The lack of PMO kept me on an interesting journey while I was overseas. What I noticed was that girls would stare at me, check me out, going out of their way to try to grab my attention, some even wanted to date me (I never had this happen to me before). It was the first time I ever noticed girls and their interest in me. I guess being overseas and lack of internet access gave me more energy. I felt like going out all the time. I remember this one model looking girl (I think she was from Australia?) who was very into me, but I blew it because I was a shy loser. Hell, what do you expect when you've spent your whole life growing up on Porn and then all of a sudden, a real woman is actually giving you a chance? Of course you'd screw it up because you have no idea what to do or what to say.

It was until a few years later did I realize, it really doesn't matter what you say to other people. You just have to deliver it as if you believed it (also known as confidence).

However, I was still into Porn and my life wasn't improving at all. Fast forward to modern time. As it turned to 2016, I vowed to myself that I will be better this year and the following years until I die. I vowed to go beast mode on everything I do and everyone I encounter. I remember being more talkative and responsive when I went for a week without PMO sometime in the past year. Of course, it would not last long. I then realized I had to keep doing this but for extended period of time. Keep the days stacking and keep going through each day without PMO.

Guess what?

It's been about three to four weeks since I stopped PMO. That's right. I started out the New Year by not fapping. I will continue this post elsewhere. I'm glad to be a part of this positive, can-do community. We all want better things for our lives, am I right? I believe our porn addiction is the first obstacle that we face...

 

Thank you guys.

@calo9025
That's one motivating factor that you can use to continue your journey, traveling. Make a list of countries you want to visit. Then save up money and live frugally as possible. I think because we live in a time of convenience, people become stagnate, complacent, dull, uninteresting and boring. Porn has ruined a lot of people. Those who are on this site are on a pathway to recovery to discovering their true potential. I got a glimpse of mine back in 2010 and you can experience it as well! It was mind blowing the first time I actually saw all that good stuff happen to me. So much so that I was overloaded with joy.