Dealing with his addictions

I'm a wife of a porn and masturbation addict. I'm trying to deal with something I don't understand. At this point in my marriage, I'm being blamed for why he's not having sex with me. I'm in a sexless marriage, I have a high sex drive. The only thing I know is he's not satisfied with anything, he got bored with me 6 months into our marriage 15 years ago. I caught him viewing porn once a year after we were married. We went to our church marriage counselor. But I did "not" say anything about the porn. Because I believed the lie that all men do it, and its no big deal. I'm not a nieve person by any means.
My husband is also a "high functioning" meth addict, In denial! Put the 2 addictions together and life sucks at my house.

 

He was clean when I met him, and he didn't start using until our 10th year of marriage.

 

No he doesn't attend any meetings, he's in denial about the dope being a problem for the marriage.
I've tried to get him to marriage counseling for people with addictions and he said he'd go. But he says we don't have the money either. And I am not working enough to pay for counseling at this time.

 

I agree with all of you about the dope, and him needing to deal with it first and foremost.
This is why I'm here talking to you, I'm trying to find out if his early use of porn and masturbation could be the cause of his addictions in the first place.
My husband started with sex porn and masturbation as a 10 year old kid. I think starting so young with it caused the whole addiction thing and it's easier in society to have drug or alcohol addictions then sex addiction. Most people hear sex addiction and think the worst.
My husband spent his childhood and preteen years in church. When I met him he was divorced and introduce me to church. He was clean for 7 years. And I didn't have a clue about addiction. He told me about the sex and porn magazines and him and a friend his age doing stuff to each other as kids. I believed the lie to, porn won't hurt anyone.
I think it started at least for my husband, his addictive personality.
That's why I'm here talking to you guys. And I suffer from trama from his betrayals, his porn use, and drugs. The lying to me from it all.

 

No childhood trauma. His dad was a cop and womanizer. But my husband didn't know his dad cheated on his mom until later in life, way after he started with drugs and selfsex. His mom is and was a sweet kind and gentle person. I talk to her about him. I think she enables him some times, I had to stop her from giving him money. It's a fine line we walk with a addict we love.
And your English is good. I didn't finish high school.
He works every day in construction, he "had" his general contractor's license, he stopped paying for it. We had a construction business that made a lot of money for 8 years, and he let it go down because of the dope. We own 1 house we live in, and had to sell a rental house, after he let the business go. No kids in the house. Between us we have 5 adult kids and 7 grandkids. I don't have my blood grandkids in our home anymore, because he forgets his dope out and I don't want my granddaughters to be hurt. They miss him to. I miss the kids here.

 

Sorry I did reply, I might not of did it right. Below is the reply. Look for where I said, childhood trauma. ;-) sorry for the confusion.

 

He is in denial for sure. And gets very mad at me when I confront him. His sober friends have tried to talk to him at least 3 times I know of, twice the 3 friends, got together and talked to him before he lost our business, that was 5 years ago. His family is no help. Their in denial also, his mother is the only one who knows the real truth in his family. At one point I was so worried about him, I told his father and my husband convinced him I was the problem. After that, my husband learned how to hide himself better. Recently one of the friends who talked to him about getting clean, years ago, asked me if he was clean. My husband is good at hide his true self.