Tldr version: would going to a professional therapist help a porn addiction? I'm at a crossroads. I do think that I have an addiction to porn. My girlfriend of two years has recently broken up with me because of it. She said that she might get back together with me if i stopped but she really doesnt know. I'm trying to change and I really think I can this time. I really believe that I'm seeing it differently, that I'm doing it for myself, and that I see it as degrading and as infidelity. I'm about a week off of it and I know this isn't long but I've never felt the changes like I do now. She told me that Im just going to give up or get bored and that I need professional help if I ever want to get better. I really don't think seeing a therapist is going to help, especially if that therapist doesn't see porn the way I do.
I completely agree with that. So do you think if I was completely open with it, a professional therapist would help in stopping to watch porn?
You don't necessarily need a therapist. You can get the help you need here from peer support. Most therapists don't believe than porn is a problem. So, if you try that route, you would have to be sure your therapist accepts that porn is and can be an addiction.
I've talked about it with therapists. I have gone to 12 step meetings and brought it up. I still have not been able to abstain for more than a month. I am hoping this website helps. I've battled with drug addiction to in my life and have found it easier to quit drugs and alcohol than porn. Something so harmless at the surface is much more harmful than I think we initially thought it was. Keep trying different things until you find something that works. It may be a long battle, it may be a short battle. It's up to you to show up for the battle and to do the things you need to do to stop. It is different for every person and we are all on our own journey's. Best of luck to you…. like they had said therapy isn't necessary and it's up to you to make the changes in your life, but at the same time therapy would not hurt the situation.
Therapy. It helped me understand how and why I do it and the pay offs and why I go back to it. It taught me it was a coping mechanism and a habit that I used like drugs or alcohol. I learned to see the porn cycle like a circle. Start at the top and see how much of the PMO is a good or a bad thing. Do it like a clock face. It starts off green as I am thinking about it, daydreaming and fantasizing then maybe red for a bit as I cant do it there and then. After that there may be a bit of green as Im on my way home or waiting for my wife to go out and then the watching it and the O. After that its all red. Lying and hiding. Having to tell people. Feeling guilty and shameful and that I am at the start again and its hopeless. That lasts upto a week. In the grand scheme there is very little green in there but lots of red. That got me thinking. It wont cure you but it depends how much having knowledge helps you recover. For me I like to know things so therapy helped a lot. Pick and mix it. Do some 12 step. Get a therapist. Come on here. Read. Journal. Exercise. Whatever the mix is that works then do it.
Thank you skywalker. It's inspiring that you've been able to overcome things like drugs and alcohol. I have a lot of family that weren't strong enough so just remember you must be a very strong individual
Thank you for the response kk76. I think what I've enjoyed most of this process is how much I'm learning about myself. The stoplight idea is genius and I'm genuinely going to give it a try
Or do the simple for/against list For: Short term relief from craving It feels good Against: Sobriety broken Feel disappointed Doesnt fix anything Problems still there Emotional hangover I need it more next time Cycle keeps repeating Decision about do I admit it Admit it and risk anger Hide it and live with the lying Feel hopeless and a failure Dont sleep well afterwards Stuck in same routine of last 30 years
Therapy changed my life, you realize why your doing it in the first place. As explained above the cycles are there you just done see them. A therapist that deals with just sexual addiction is a must. It will help you to recognize the start of a cycle, it gives you the knowledge to recover. Only you can recover nobody will do it for you. With therapy you can use nofap and or a sponsor to help you with troubling times. You have to want it and be true to yourself!
I have found it useful Problem Explained to me Understand it See why I do it See the futility in it Don't do it/ do it less and that has been the purpose of my therapy sessions. I have learnt a lot but recovering is what works for you and no path is the same for any of us. I had a 12st sponsor. Found it wasn't working due to issues with distance and availability. New 12st sponsor helps me in a different way. I love to read. Others may say knowledge doesn't change you. For me it has helped me especially the YBOP book.
