It always amazes me that when we relapse and peek, even for less than 15 minutes, the images soar through your brain the rest of the day and beyond and it feels like a tug o war. I've learned there is no such thing as a "harmless peek" when you're trying to quit, it becomes "all or none" to succeed.
I mean I've got some brain damage which prevents me from feeling joy the way most people do. I remember what it was like a few years ago and it was immeasurably better. I'm not spiritual at all, so I believe in making the best of this animal existence. No point to suffering. Suffering is just the brain telling us to change something, or in my case telling me something has changed. I want real prosperity and flourishment. Not tests and promises of deeper understanding. Just simple seratonin, melatonin and endorphins.
Oh dear, here's the problem. You are simply not a brain in a vat being fed all these chemical impulses. You are an intelligent thoughtful mind asking questions of life; you are on a quest. Now, take the title of this thread. There is something fishy about it. You are looking for a 'rationale' for NOT using P... we normally look for a rationale to use P. This suggests there are higher 'functions' of the mind that go beyond mere reason and knowledge. Actually, these higher functions always interrogate reason and knowledge, especially scientific knowledge, in the name of dignity, freedom and autonomy. The only way to overcome the more sordid aspects of the self [which lead to the first-person experience of misery and shame], is to posit an ideal and value beyond yourself. You then strive and aspire toward that ideal. So where does the brain, and all those chemicals come into it? Think of it as the interface between yourself and the world. What we do when we overdose on endorphins is simply disrupt the reception; wwe gt a fuzzzzy hzy pictre of the worrrld... oh wait, is this language obsolete today? Does language become obsolete... or just technology?
Thanks brother Good question on fuzzy picture. Perhaps the youths would interpret that as a velvet Elvis?
Hard to talk about. It's panic attack resulting in so much loss of sleep that it does damage. Now I have odd issues such as a feeling like I'm walking on a boat all the time. Rocking and bobbing. Sleep can still be tough but it's a lot easier than it was. It's not an easy life.
Sounds like a real deep issue. But mind you, there is real hope, and it is really possible to work on that! I had massive panic attacks also - especially when I stopped PMOing! Then I had no "exit", and I needed to face the fear. I can highly recommend hypnosis and self-hypnosis, which leads to a very very deep relaxation. It can go down to the core of your panic attacks and give you peace again. It is like glowing from inside and it is gives you back the inner freedom you had when you were born.
OK, first: Try to find a spot in your body where you can feel the fear, For me, I was feeling fear and panic always in my belly area, like a tight grip or like a punch in the belly. So, during self-hypnosois, I tried to relax this area. I relax and I begin to imagine how my belly is getting warm and comfortable. I'm talking to myself like 'my belly feels warm .. wonderful comfortable warmness in my belly .. " and so on. After a few minutes, I can feel a great glowing warmness and I feel like floating. This is where you begin to float into a state of trance. It's a wonderful feeling, and it is giving you peace and vomfort. This alone is tremendously helpful. When you are in the relaxed state, you can also add some positive affirmations of goals which you want to reach. For example, you want to learn for an examen or work on a project - then you imagine yourself in that situation, and give yourself positive affirmations. When your are deeply relaxed, then your brain takes any message and stores it. therefore, be careful to take positive messages, like 'I am practising guitar' , and not 'I am not fapping'. When you repeat this every day, you will soon feel a change. Just be patient.
