After being addicted to porn and masturbation for about 6 years, I became sexually active. For the most part I didn't see the effects of a brain rewired by pornography, other than not getting very wet no matter how turned on I was. But this weekend something happened that made me feel disgusted and ashamed. When my boyfriend and I have sex we often get a little rough. Nothing too extreme, just very light hair pulling and hickies. I would call it passionate rather than rough sex. But this weekend we were having sex and I felt the need to bite him and claw his back. After countless hardcore sex videos my brain equated good sex with hurting each other. My boyfriend was hurt and stopped immediately, wondering why I did that to him. I've never felt more terrible. This incident has only strengthened my resolve to quit once and for all. I'm 21 days porn and masturbation free and I'm not going back!
Whatever your wake up call was, keep it in mind from from now on to fuel your resolve, and tenacity. Have you talked to him about the incident?
Yeah we talked it out. I told him I got carried away and that I would never want to hurt him and he said he understood because we've done similar things in the past. I guess it's hard to draw that line of how far is too far but I know I never want to hurt him again.
that's good you talked to him. I don't know how serious you are with him, but getting support is a very important part of rebooting in my opinion.
Welcome to bringing the fantasy into reality. Why not just talk about what you enjoy but respect each other's limits
