37 male here. Brand new to this.

PMO addiction is like any other addiction. So yes, you can change your life back

When i joined this website, people gave me these 2 pieces of advice:

1.- Always be busy. Try to avoid thinking about sex, porn, or anything related. Focus on your family, your job, your dog, your beard ... anything, but porn I can safely say if I'm bored, the chances that i end up PMO'ing are almost 100%

2.- Cold showers. Even if you're busy but your mind is always saying " Hey, why don't you go see that video > ?" ... Drop what you're doing, go take a cold shower. If you can't take a cold shower, splash cold water on your face ... if you can't do that either, i doubt you're in a situation where you can safely PMO.

And also ( a personal advice ), don't think you can have a "sneaky peek" or a "quick one" without consequences. It's like an alcoholic smelling alcoholic beverages. I'm sure, in the past when you were an alcoholic, if someone put a beer in front of you and made you smell it, you would end up drinking it. So i can safely say: If you have a quick search, for example, of a girl in a bikini suit, you'll most likely end up PMO.

Good luck soldier

 

I think my husband, @jfromcr (who saw porn on a regular basis at 5y/o) can attest his life is much, much better without it!

 

Hey 12stepper,

Welcome to the fight!

The last time I binged was just after a major career change. There are fears that we all wrestle with that can lead us to cope in unhealthy ways. Porn is a symptom that becomes an addiction. You will have to dig down to the root cause of the problem. For me, I couldn't talk about my fears with @lfromcr and I didn't want to acknowledge my habit either thinking I could get it under control.

The recommended reboot is stay away from porn and masturbation. You brain will retrain itself with your wife, if she is still interested.

 

Also you may want to challenge yourself but not too much. For instance, instead of "I will never do that again" say "I'll put all my willpower into not doing it for a week and see if I die without it (spoiler: you won't)". Or even start with 24h. Then make the streaks longer. That's my path currently.

 

Rediscover the things you used to enjoy. Reading, writing, watching old westerns etc. You may even find you don't mind too much being bored at times, with a cup of tea or pipe in hand, listening to some classy music, gazing out the window into your garden.

 

Staying busy is the most important thing.
No p or m just sex with my bf cured him pretty quick. Like previously stated that's IF your wife is still willing.
She's gotta be hurting.
Good luck. Live a good life you can be proud of.

 

Hey man!

Same story here, got sober in AA. Found myself acting out with sexual stuff a lot. Began to go for SLAA meeting, found out that it's my another old strong addiction. But now I am aware of this one and ready to work on it too.