Relapsed after 6 months of P-Mode free

Hi guys,

I just signed up to have some community support as I realized I'm not going to be able to do it on my own in the long run. It's been a tough battle since I've started watching porn at the age of 13. I'm now turning 28 in the coming months and all those younger years I've never felt anything wrong with jerking off to porn but after I turned 21, I realized this isn't how I would want my sexual, spiritual and physical life to be consumed by porn.

I'm catholic and I thought that praying and going to church often would help me curb my addiction, but unfortunately it didn't and it just made me feel more guilty and in self-denial. Since 21, my longest streak of abstaining from porn ranged from 1 to 4 weeks then I would relapse again and it was a never ending cycle of depressive thoughts and anxiety all the time. Until the last couple of years I've managed to to abstain for close to 2 months before I relapsed again.

This year in 2016, I've kept away from porn videos since Jan until yesterday 22/06/16 when I let temptation get the better of me. I just couldn't believe how a moment of folly caused so much effort to disappear in an instant. A few mistakes that actually led to this disaster was that in the past few weeks, I started looking at the porn stars pictures that I used to watch previous that weren't naked and I just thought it would be harmless. Things just climaxed to the point where my brain was telling me just go check out if there are any new videos from the pornstars that I used to jerk off too. One of the worst decisions I've made in 2016. I just couldn't resist and fapped 3 times yesterday to porn videos.

So basically I'm ready to battle it out again as I know it's important to persevere and never fall back into this depressive cycle of guilt and self-denial. I hope to find some informative resources and as well as a strong community support in overcoming this psychological cancer that is wasting our minds away.

Regards,

NJ

 

Thanks guys, will update soon on my progress and will be thankful for all the help i can get when i feel down and out.