Is there such thing as a healthy use of porn?

Is there such a thing as an alcoholic that can take a drink without danger of the long slide back into the darkness? Is there such a thing as a drug addict that can use drugs socially and occasionally and be OK? I don't think so, man. Maybe those friends of yours are OK with occasional P use. Maybe they aren't and they aren't telling you. Again, look back to the examples of an alcoholic and a drug adict. Do all drinkers or drug users turn into addicts? No. But, as AA says, once an addict (alcoholic) always an addict.

In fact, my husband quit P about 7 years ago but continued to MO and fantasize. P still had a hold on him and our marriage was nearly destroyed by the time he found NoFap. So we are only going to O with each other, no MO at all. (me too) He's doing a reboot and things are so much better! He's been working on improving his communication skills, becoming more self aware (so he can talk to me about his feelings and not withdraw from me) and improving our connection. FANOS has helped a lot with that. Our sex life is greatly improved, part because the love is back and partly due to karezza.

You also asked about P use for spicing up a sex life. That's a lie. For a healthy relationship with good sex, you do NOT need P to spice it up. P does the opposite of spice up a sex life, especially if one of the partnership is a P addict. See paragraph one.

For us, karezza gave us all the spice we needed and more. More than we ever even knew was possible.

Are you married or in a relationship?

 

Thank you! I highly recommend you try FANOS too. And tell your GF she is welcome in the private group for SOs.

 

"Is there such thing as a healthy use of porn?"
Nah man.

 

Society has not come to a consensus on whether or not there is a healthy way to consume porn. I have come to my own conclusion. Porn, unlike alcohol and drugs, has two sides to it, the user side and the content provider side. As a whole, I think porn is unhealthy for society, just like prostitutes and johns are bad for society.

As a user, even if you don't get addicted, your understanding about real relationships gets skewed, you learn to objectify women which inhibits your ability to have appropriate non-sexual relationships with women (especially in your every day life).

As a content provider, you live in an industry where mistreatment and degradation are common (go look for honest testimonials about why porn actresses do anal scenes, scat, etc.). Many of those actresses coast on their beauty until it fades and then get desperate in the later years of their careers. Few become rich. Imagine turning 40 and looking back on your life to realize you squandered your life up to that point starring in porn. What is there to be proud of from that lifestyle? Should you be proud that you helped hundreds of thousands of men to become addicted, or that you helped people to run from real social interactions and fail to find lasting companionship.

 

... healthy use of Porn? Paradox, contradiction, irony inherent in your question. Health and porn are as much antonyms as black and white, as night and day, as life and death. Because that's what porn is... it's death, of your inner spirit, of your essence as a human being, of your resolve to aspire to greater stages of life. It's a tool of suppression of your vitality, prevention as it holds you back from connecting to the larger life out there, and nihilistic hedonism - an immortal roller-coaster designed for robots, to reduce you to the mental capacity of a walnut and fighting spirit of a born-&-bred slave for life.

So... my answer is... NO, Fuck Porn.

 

Noel, the reason you struck a nerve (and thank you for asking this question) my friend is that... this is a question I am sure everyone asks themselves regularly... I used to, on a daily basis. What if I just... taper out the negative porn and view it occasionally and reap the positive aspects of this industry. If you read the rest of my message, you know that behind the obvious nerve this question strikes within me, is actual physiological, psychological, and spiritual imbalance, dread and pain that I've experienced firsthand (and I know you have too), I know people who've gone through their struggles, and then of course, there's NoFap. Try reading the elder generations addictions to porn, the way it destroys marriages, relationships, and work-life balance. This is evidence. This is FACTUAL. Sure, it may filtered through a subjective lens and no stories can be measured by a pain scale. The proclivity of the development of an addict I believe... is one of those larger than life questions but imo, an addict has an insatiable thirst for life and everything good it has to offer. I have a tremendously addictive personality - a lot of it has to do with how we're wired. I have friends as well who say such things... and I know, when I hear someone say that... it's a cop-out, it's a lie, it's a filthy state of self-denial. And in the off-chance that they are fine with porn, I think they severely LACK the depth to which addicts like me, have experienced PMO. Now I never want to be on Level 1 in life. That's not me. I can never just. I need to go within, explore the depths, explore the source... the matter-of-fact way these guys use porn is because they use it to a controlled and selfish end. Their minds are stunted when it comes to porn. They believe one thing... and they go with it. Simple consumer behavior. It's like buying groceries, breathing, and just walking from point A to B, not even think about it. What separates me from them, is that I ask questions and I seek answers, and yes this does land me in addictions sometimes but I am better for it. Although I enjoy bragging, it doesn't matter how voraciously I consumed life and shat out success b/c my PMO addiction stole it all away from me. I hope you can relate to this.

 

I don't know it is weird, I've found I can lose myself in porn, lose myself in alcohol, but other vices like gambling or drugs can do it, may even have fun with either, but can take it or leave it. I think if you tie a strong feeling to something it's very hard to unlearn, because even when you time after time it leaves you empty, there's still that light of granduer or fix you're trying to reach at the end of the tunnel.
Gambling: ruined some lives in my family and also rationally I know you always lose, I can enjoy for a bit at a bachelor party here or there in small doses.
Drugs: my dad I've always known to smoke pot, he never made a big deal of it neither did I, other drugs see the worst in people have no desire myself
Porn and alcohol: always forbidden so built up the adrenaline to try the first time, and was a thrill...not sure if that's why I keep chasing.

Like the others said, probably no substantial health benefits to porn, can kind of compare it to an allergen, some people it affects heavily, others not so much.

 

I think healthy porn use is possible for people who have never abused it. I have friends who I know watch porn and they have no ed or anxiety or any of the other symptoms that I have struggled with.

Disclaimer - do NOT think when you have rebooted you can start watching porn again but only occasionally, you can't.

Think of it like alcohol, most people can go out at the weekend and have a few drinks no problem. An alcoholic however, who has been clean for 6 months, would surely not be able to do this, as it would almost certainly relapse in the following days and weeks after drinking again.

For us, in my opinion anyway. Our brain will always associate porn as being a good thing, if we reintroduce it into our lives after rebooting, our brains will surely crave more

 

I don't think so. There are always other ways to spice up the relationship. Go on some trip together, learn a hobby, or something like that.

 

I vehemently disagree that so-called "healthy porn" exists. The fact that there are an array of effects is just not relevant.
IMO, I think that sex in pornography is portrayed outside of a loving relationship. There is also much exploitation. A 2013 Gallup survey reported that, of U.S. adults, 66% believe that pornography is "morally wrong" while 31% believe that it is "morally acceptable". Of course, there are many people in our society that are immoral and even amoral. It is not healthy!

 

That's right, anyone who thinks porn is 'morally acceptable' is either lying, bases their morals off of something wrong and twisted or has no morals. But no one really has no morals, so I think everyone is just lying. When they truly think it is moral, their brains must have been washed.

I'm sorry, but basic universal morals say it's wrong to lust after some one that is not your wife.

 

his question wasn't "is porn morally right", he asked if there is such a thing as healthy porn use, The simple answer to which is yes, because many people do, not everyone who watches porn experiences the consequences we have faced. Opinion polls on the morality of porn conducted in largely Christian countries have no relevance

In the same way as alcohol, it can be consumed responsibly without any serious repercussions, once you develop full blown alcoholism, alcohol must be avoided as a lifelong commitment, as any alcohol consumed will trigger the same pathways that led to addiction to begin with. Porn works the same way

 

In my opinion, no. Pornography is certainly different from real sex, so don't expect that much carryover from one another. I can at least tolerate someone talking about minimal masturbation, but pornography is very artificial, unrealistic and harmful to us. Sex is a part of our love life, you can explore it if you want to (assuming that you're old enough) but definitely not through PMO, that's unnatural.

 

But doing something wrong is harmful.

 

I'm glad you brought this question up @Noel_z. What I think one of the issues here for me is personal freedom, to be able to do what we want without being restricted. Throughout history (I am a ex history student by the way) there has been major attempts to both repress and free sexuality and that includes P. An example of repression is how certain religions especially fundamentalist, but not strictly because even the catholic church or mainstream strains of Islam have reduced or even taken away our ability to explore ourselves sexually, with many laws and moral codes, even so called 'sexual deviants' were put to the stake during the 'witch hysteria' from 1400's to 1700's both in Europe & North America. But even at moments in history there has been sexual liberations as well such as the sexual revolutions in the early 1900's and in the 1960's, also in ancient history such as ancient Greece & Rome with homosexuality, also with India with the karma sutra in terms of sexual expression. All the way through history there have been pornographic images of some nature, which have either been repressed, destroyed even on mass and also a outpouring of such paraphernalia.

What I find interesting is that sexuality and sexual imagery to use a better word are linked to some certain extent, whether people like it or not. I am a big promoter of sexuality and the idea of people exploring their own bodies & with others, if people want to M then I see no problem with it, if people want to be polygamous so be it, if they want to explore the image of the body so be it too or know of sexual acts then so be it as well. I found out more about sex than I ever did through porn and other sexual imagery than any other method that has offered to me, I was repressed sexually because of my strict catholic upbringing!

Now here comes the clincher before all anti-porn or feminists come to attack me. I say all this but totally understand the affect such imagery and P (especially the hyper imagery, vividness, desensitization affect and unrealistic elements that exist in modern porn, not to mention its readily easy access through the internet) has on generations now growing up, it seems to me to be an excess, not that I'm against hedonism, just it can get to the extent where it is damaging, not just to those who consume it (because P is another product just like any other in the capitalist system we live, hence another de-sentisizing affect) but also those who are in it especially women. Its like any other vice (want to find a better word but I can't, has too much of a moral element for me) such as drugs that hurts others and also has a hold over us, imprisoning us, which is not a liberation at all.

I'm not going to write here that P is evil or wrong or demand that it should be destroyed or everyone should stop watching it, everyone has a choice in life, we are not robots yet, its all down to individual choice in my opinion. For me I'm not against use of it or for it, just that people should have the freedom to choose, but should also understand the damaging affect it has from its use and production, that it is not the great sexual liberator it is pertained to be, only we can do that within ourselves and how we express to others. I'm not against alcohol or drugs either, even heroin even though I really see it as a great destroyer of beautiful individuals I have known, just feel we should be able gain freedom, sexuality, joys, pleasures in life through means that do not necessary destroy or oppress us. Again, if people want to destroy themselves then I ain't going to stop them and if people really love these vices or extreme stimulations then I ain't going to stop them either.

DISCLAIMER: Before anyone says anything I have been there with drugs, with alcohol, even sexual so called extremes, many what some people would call fucked up behaviours and actions so I have insight. Why I write like this is I want people to be open minded, to not judge anyone and that I still think what everyone else is doing here is an amazing thing.