Introduction to NoFap

Hey NoFap guys and gals,

I just wanted to say hi and give a brief introduction on where I'm at in my life and why I've turned to NoFap for community and support.

I'm 33 years old male living on my own. I've been living a very solitary lifestyle just going to and from work. My whole life I thought I was struggling with video games/food/internet addiction... but I'm beginning to see that the ROOT cause may be my PMO addiction.

Right now my life has kind of hit rock bottom - my landlord is kicking me out of my studio I've been living at for the last 3 years. He made up a story about his mother-in-law being psycho and wanting to live in my studio to get away from her (which may be half true) but I get the feeling it's really because in the last 3 years I've let my life deteriorate and it's reflected in my surroundings. I've not taken very good care of his property - and I'm starting to realize how much of an ass hole I've been to a super sweet man (he's even giving me 100% of my deposit back - no inspection/shame). I've been looking for similar studios in town and they're all in the 1250-1500 range (I'm only paying 1000 now) so I was really getting a great deal from him and all I did was betray his trust.

My landlord is unknowingly doing the best thing possible for me right now. I needed a wake-up call to bring me back to reality and do some soul searching. I've decided to make things right and put the time I'm not PMOing into cleaning the place up as best I can (I mean really make an effort) and getting out by the end of the month so he can renovate and move in quickly or rent it to someone else.

I also think I've settled in my career and become apathetic to my job/future. I'm only making $15/hour but when rent is 1250+ a month in this area I really should be looking for jobs that pay me AT LEAST $23/hour. I've been doing the bare minimum at a job with little accountability so that I could PMO/play video games/eat poorly/smoke/etc. This job's environment allows me to be lazy and there's a lot of other dysfunctional people, from all walks of life age/groups, treading water here like me. I'm not stimulated or challenged - I spend most my time on reddit (which I'm starting to see is another novelty addiction similar to PMO but obviously less severe).

So I'm about to ask my step-mom and dad if I can move back into their house. I haven't relied on them for support since I was in my early 20s. I haven't stayed in contact with anyone in my family - I've missed countless birthdays/holidays and other important events. I've been so consumed by PMO+unhealthy levels on MMO gaming that I've completely shut everyone out of my life. I'm ready to be humble. I'm ready to admit I need help. I'm ready to admit I have a problem and can't continue living this "lifestyle".

I am so thankful I have family who've extended an olive branch to me (I hope they were serious). I'm trying to appreciate how fortunate I am. Any insight or words of encouragement would be helpful.

 

I know you're right. I've already started... this is day 2 for me. I'm already starting to see why this is going to work. I feel like I'm finally understanding WHY I was making hedonistic choices in my life. I'm one of those people who can't change on faith alone - I need someone to spell it out for me and I feel like all the resources I've found here are really helping. Maybe it's too soon to say this but I already feel more clear headed and I like I have direction/can plan for my future.