I need to make this change

It's totally possible.
BF spiraled out of control also. He went in with a zero tolerance. He didn't set a goal of 30 days or 90 like many do. He quit cold turkey. He rapidly saw improvements and it was confirmation to keep with it.
Our relationship is much stronger, he is happy and more at ease and our sex life is awesome now.
Stay strong and remember why you're doing this. First month is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions but it gets easier. Good luck.

 

I suppose everyone is different in this regard. Some people can work a 30, 60 or 90 day gig, but for me, I was done, so what was the point of counting days? I kept a bit of a mental charting on my progress for myself, but that wasn't so much counting days, but rather observing how long various aspects of healing were taking.

It seems to be dependent on mindset quite a bit. Most people go into this hesitantly. Reluctantly. Not fully believing or committed. So they adopt a "days" policy. Part of them doesn't want to give up the pmo crutch. Part of them doesn't want to really evaluate how much of their life they've screwed over and continue to screw over. Part of them hates the terms "dependent" "addict" "problem" "addiction". Part of them does the whole "everyone watches porn and wanks, it's normal, I'm just normal too!" rationalization. Part of them contemplates a boring lackluster existence without the buzz of porn in the brain. The ones in relationships say "sex is still good", even though it's not...how can it be? And they are speaking from their perspective (skewed) not their partner's perspective. Some of them want a "balance" and not to get rid of pmo completely (this is akin to saying I only want to do heroin on Tuesdays). Others don't or can't believe that stopping will produce change in their life. And on and on and on...

It definitely is possible.

Best of luck.

 

And the most positive sign is that you are here. There has already been a change of attitude from the way you were before. Be patient with yourself in these days ahead. Believe in your own goodness, because it's there still and PMO was never telling the truth about you anyway. All the very best for your quest and journey.

 

I'm 54 too , I go way back MO since 13 yrs old , you can do it ! I'm with ya

 

Bartiger, I am right their with ya in this. I have quite a bit riding on the line with this journey, same as most of us do.. Most important is the knowing I can't keep going with the life I have been living anymore. I don't want to set any time goals or anything because I know for myself that the only way I can do it is to focus on a 24 hour a day principle. I want to keep track of the time I have been free because its a positive reminder that I have gone 26 days without P, so I can do another 24 hours as long as I stay active in bettering myself. If I focus on doing this for me, everything else will fall in place for me. One thing I have always been told with any addiction (and here I go with some 12 step learnings... take it or leave it, however you see fit) is that alcohol, drugs, porn, masturbation, etc etc is only a symptom of the problem... The problem is myself and how I see, feel, and believe about myself. I wish you and everyone here the best of luck with whatever demons you may be facing.

 

Congrats to you my friend. Every 24 hours free is a success to be grateful for!