Starting my 90 PMO challenge while married to save marriage

welcome to NoFap. I can't give you advice what asked about. There are some wonderful articles all over on NoFap. Check them out.

Good luck, brother.

 

Well I'm still a virgin so I got no advice for your wife. But there's a forum on here called "relationships" and I'm sure you could find some help there. However this situation is what I don't want to happen to me. It's the main reason I quit. This decision that you have made to quit this vile filth will be a defining moment in your life. In many years you're gonna look back with your wife on this moment and be glad you stopped. There are many wives of PMO addicts on this site. If it would help you, maybe she can get an account on here too. Anyways if you have any questions about this site just ask me. I seem to have gotten an understanding of it. Good luck!

 

If you're married and you want to stay that way, 90 days is just the start, mate. You're looking at a change of life, not a three month reprieve. 90 days isn't the 'cure period'. It's a guideline to get people started so that they can begin to feel change in their life.

Best advice I can give you is change your head, mate. Toss out "90 days" and commit to yourself and your wife. No person or marriage survives sexual acting out unscathed.

Good luck to you, mate.

 

7 months ago my wife gave me an ultimatum... get rid of porn or she was going to get rid of me and take our kids with her. I HAD to quit cold-turkey. This ultimatum was actually a good thing. It was the only thing that cut through all the delusional thinking in my head. I knew what the consequences were going to be if I failed. The pain of continuing was going to be worse than the pain I was medicating with porn. I had to change... I had to leave my old way of thinking, feeling, and behaving behind.

If you are having a very difficult time getting along with your wife then going Hard Mode is good. It takes the pressure of having sex off the table for a few months and gives you time to change which will show her that you value her more than you value porn. Give her a reason to love you again.

Also understand that she needs to heal too. We all have hurt our SO's more than we realized. Talk to your wife every day. Ask her questions. Answer her questions as honestly as possible. Be open and vulnerable. Restoring intimacy doesn't happen with one grand gesture. It happens with a thousand little ones. Because you have hurt her she has withdrawn to a place of safety. She won't come out until you make her feel safe. We have to go back to treating our wives as girlfriends and court them again... give them those thousand reasons to trust and love you again. Research how to restore trust... buy some books if you have to... do the exercises... show her with concrete actions that you CARE.

She might feel all alone in dealing with the way she feels. There are many wives and girlfriends in the Relationship folder who are dealing with a husband or boyfriend who is addicted to porn. Let her know that she is not alone and is welcome to reach out for support if she needs it.

 

Bro, I know what you feel. I started masturbating at 8 years and married for the last 5. I am exactly where you are with regards to the mindset. I know we can fight this bloody thing. Lets do it all together. Good luck and God bless! I started this 2 days ago so we are on the same boat. I am certain you will succeed, just start with being PMO free and rest will follow.

 

I highly recommend FANOS and nonsexual cuddling. Since you're doing hard mode, I'd suggest you learn about karezza, sex without O, as well. Theses three things helped my husband and I a lot!

Your wife, as others have said, is also welcome at nofap. In addition to the women forum where she can journal, if she is interested, we have a private group for SOs.

You can see links for all of this in my signature, if you're on a computer.

 

This works for me when I turn my phone on its side I can see all the signatures. Idk if that happens for all phones though.

 

Sure enough! Thank you, it worked on my android.