extremly addicted man

Whats up guys,
My name is nico . I come from indonesia so that is my problem here because My english is so bad, so that i difficult to write well. story began about 8 year ago when i found M (mast*******) is very very very delicious thing that ive ever felt. then I curious more about it so that I always focus on that. Since I found a short way to orgasm I do it everyday whenever and wherever I am, so i obsessed on sex and always imagine about sex , sometimes when my father go outside from home i will stole his porn dvd and watch it by myself.

One thing that i dont know that porn destroy n stealth my happines in life. I became unconfident boy,like to be alone, stupid and etc. Used to i dont know that the causes why my life is unhappy is bcoz of porn. When bad things happened to me i always blame my self, i felt poor , ugly, doesnt charming and etc so that I cant have a date even girlfriend. I always run from the fact of my life so that i just having fantation about bEtter life in imagination like i am a charming boy . Moreover I Do M and WP(watching p***) more intensively like 3-6 a day. Many peoplw or friends said me that i am smart ans talented but i dont feel it. I trapped in this evil cycle till i am graduate from senior high school.

When I was being a university student, I asked by a friend to join religius group and say yes bcause i hope it can make me free. Yes it works I am better than before , i can talk in front of people well, i can sing ,playing guitar, and organize something like event, i dont say that i am totaly free, it is not , but better. Then my poen addiction percentage decreases about 40% because I have many things to do . But i realize that it just replace, not recover me forever. Now I am in my last semeater at university. i am still struggling but i believe i can change and i will join 90 days without that bad habbits. I believe God will help me. Now in indonesia we dont have any website or solution because this case just happened intensively on this recently 8 years and many people dont confess that they are addicted. Forgive my bad grammar. So I hope i can meet indonesian peiple here. So my suggest is find purpose in your life, a great purpose that lord has prepare for you. Much pray and reading bible. This makes me better in my recovery times

 

It is hard for me bcause PMO like my hobby,desire, and everythings in my life. I ask to my self am i not yet encounter His love?

 

Thanks but ive tries this bfore . It different, evwn in jungle I can watch porn by my mind or imagination

 

Realky may I have ur contact?