If Not For The Pain

So it had come to this. I have been addicted to porn since I saw my first movie, that my father brought home, when I was about 14. My mother even bought me magazines (I guess) as part of growing up. Now at 43, happily married for 15 years, I still fight it to varying degrees of success.

About 4 weeks my job stress went over the top and I was diagnosed with clinical depression, I had a week where I fapped at least once a day. Then on Sunday morning, ironically before leaving for church, I did it again. That afternoon, and ever since, I have had massive pain in my premium.

The urologist diagnosed prostatitis have me meds and said be sure to ejaculate twice a week. Believe me when I tell you it was more than that for me.

I finally concluded that maybe it was over use and decided the pain would be the catalyst to stop. Thankfully I found you all. The difficult part will be if the pain does not improve. I will see that as what is the point.

I am tired of looking at porn daily. I even made a deal with God that I would delete the stash if the pain got better. The pain got better and I still did not delete the stash. The pain came back. This is going to be tough especially with the depression.

 

Hi Rafa, Thanks for taking the time to write. Believe it or not, I have a stash but I never watch it. I just start searching sites and, well, there you have it. Tons of pain today from the prostate deal and feeling really down. Only day two. Ooooof