"Short" version of my story

Hi guys,

I'm a male, 29 years old (not an english mother tongue, so please forgive any mistakes or nonsense sentences ).
I found out this site when I was, somehow, already aware that something was going wrong with porn. I have to say that I don't necessary consider things such drug, alcohol, porn (and so on) as evil things. I'm kind of an open minded person and I think that the problem is not in the thing itself, but in the way we use it. The problem with me is that I'm not really good in managing addictions... not at all! I'm also currently struggling with a soft alcohol addiction but you know what: everyone is aware of the damages alcohol can do, it is under everyone's eyes! What most of the people don't know is that "porn addiction" even exists, it took me years to find it out myself! An enemy you don't know is an impossible enemy to fight.
It all started with my first ED episode, it was with a girl I barely knew, soon after braking up with my ex-girlfriend. It was bad, but what I kept telling myself was stuff like "it happened because I didn't care of that girl, I'm not really attracted to her, I should focus on girls I'm really into, that's how things will be fine!". And then, it happened again, and again, but I always had an excuse to avoid the problem. Meanwhile my addiction got worse! The time I was dedicating to porn was increasing rapidly. I shifted to more extreme categories that I was even disgusted to think about after my fap session. I stopped seeing girls, I was always depressed and drunk as fuck... so sad.
Coming to recent days, I met this extraordinary girl. We are starting to know each other and I'm always more attracted to her. I think I could love this one . But then it came the day she went in my bedroom. While I was struggling to make everything go in the right way, my penis didn't move. I felt so anxious that I was barely breathing. I couldn't understand what was going on since I was (am) so attracted to her!
That's when I found out this site and all the material it has to offer. Now it's been 5 days without PMO, I'm still going out with her but I feel little is changed from 5 days ago. To be honest, I don't have the courage, right now, to tell her everything. I don't want to miss her, I don't want her to think that I am a pathetic looser. You know, we barely know each other, it is not a great way to introduce myself...
Now I'm leaving for two weeks, and it's great for my path to "redemption" , but it will soon come the time to face her in bed... you know, she thinks I'm a regular dude, a little bit anxious, but she has no idea. I think the best thing is, obviously, to talk to her, but hell, I'm so scared!

And that's the "short" version of my story.
Sorry for the long post, see you!