Horray for crippling social anxiety! (College edition)

Hey brother,

Listen.. social anxiety is way more common than you think. My 2nd year into college, I had a full blown nervous breakdown that literally crippled me and threw my entire life off course. I'm 25 now, and I just relapsed after a 10 day streak. In those 10 days I started to notice some real improvements. Hang in there, friend! Together we are on an endless journey towards self improvement!

 

First thing: It does get easier.

I can see that you live a lot inside your own head. When you stop doing that, when you stop trying to be the perfect version of yourself, when you stop trying to think 10x before you say something, you will see that everything is easier. I used to be like that, actually, I still am a bit. This is another valid point: You will never reach the place where you want to be, it's always a work in progress. It took me a while to figure out that life is right here, right now and that the best thing you can do today is to try to do the stuff you want to do. Allow yourself to fail sometimes. Asking a girl out and receiving a big NO in your face is part of it. Learn to deal with it. Courage to do stuff even though failing is almost certain, is the best way to do things in this world.

Also, stop bashing/judging yourself. There is nothing wrong with being able to laugh at yourself, your flaws, etc. It makes you humble and it helps to keep the ego at bay. But in this post I saw at least 5 phrases where you mocked yourself in a way that is harmful. Be aware of self-sabotage, feel a little bit more entitled.

Instead of having this vision that because of being like "this or that" you won't be able to do something, try to see that even though you're like "this or that" you will do the stuff you want to do anyways.

And still on the last topic, please change your friggin nickname!

 

Spoiler

Lmao. Pussy THF strikes again. Will he ever cease? Does everyone have to get a written invitation to each of his pity parties? HA! *points and laughs at your incompetence*

To be serious, and I understand that my advice is not solicited, but your grandfather sounds very negative. Ask yourself: will that negativity help you live a clean life, free of PMO? Or will it just create even more problems for you?

In any event, I respect you for opening up like this -- I wouldn't have the courage for it. I take venlafaxine (187.5mg per day) for my anxiety; but I don't think I had/have it (anxiety) on the level that you do. So: thank you for sharing your struggles with us.

---
P.S.

What if you were a dog in your previous life, and all you ever wanted was to be reincarnated as a human boy from Washington? Because, wow -- you thought you sucked as a dog. And in your current life, after successfully being reincarnated as a human boy from Washington, all you ever wanted was to be reincarnated as "something that doesn't suck." Because, wow -- you thought you sucked as a human boy from Washington. And in your next life, after successfully being reincarnated as a cool kid who partied 24/7 and fucked a ton of girls, all you ever wanted was to be reincarnated as a king (or whatever.) Because, wow -- you thought you sucked as a cool kid.

And in your next life, after successfully being reincarnated as a king, you say, "I wonder what it'd be like to live as a dog."

---

You said it yourself, THF.

Live your life confidently and be proud of the (awesome!) person that you are -- because in your previous life you are now everything and more than you could have ever dreamed of becoming.

Stay strong, THF, and good luck on your journey.

Deadlihood

 

Hooray you human failure!
I like your humour! For example this:

You definitely qualify as a Japanese student. It's the way [dō] of being odd and elite plus having fun at the same time. You're not less crazed than most of the kawaii female students so you'll probably get your girlfriend there. Or even a japanese girrl? (But be tentative since they're the real deal with nihongata and everything and they don't like tentacles in most cases).

Your grandfather is a gift. Too bad I haven't such a nice grandfather, in fact I have none.

Your nickname reminds me on the manga "Welcome to the NHK", in the translation this term is used a lot. Wonder what it is in japonese...

About NoFap (and maybe more): you can define yourself what it is and how you want it. Make sure you do it in a way you that is good for you. And take your time.

 

Is she seeing anyone? Asking for a friend.

 

^^hahaha

 

I'm the friend he's asking for. Is she?

 

I am not trying to tell you how to live, just to maybe give you some consideration on how to really see different things. Maybe some of it may help, maybe nothing.

Throughout your written text I could really feel your inner insecurity. Even though the feeling itself might never really go away, try to slowly change your mindset by writing or speaking in a way, that might not be comfortable for you. I am referring to a quote by Robert Greene (even though I used the same technique for almost all my lifecycle) "Deliberately put yourself in difficult situations and examine your reactions." Putting this into more understandable words: Go to any girl (no matter if good looking or not) and ask her what time it is. After her response just leave.Get in touch with the other gender WITHOUT having any intentions of getting her number or anything else.After you feel comfortable doing this you will learn quickly how to flirt in a nice fashion. As one of the people here stated your style of humor is quite unique.Furthermore Try to always, even if it feels unnatural, act confident. You might ask yourself how this is possible here are 4 psychologically proven ideas: 1. Hold eyecontact, train this in the mirror with yourself. Eyecontact is key when talking to a girl 2. Before you go out there (or even have job interviews) raise your arms for 2 minutes. Raise them as if you just won the gold medal in acting japanese.This is linked to our stoneage brain, through the expression of power and greatness you will better your self reflection3.When walking push your chest a bit forward. 4. Try to smile multiple times a day. Smiling signalizes the brain that your happy and will change your mood pretty quickly.
I dont want to go into too much detail. Just work according to this and your confidencelevel will increase.

Just another few comments on your writings:
1. Everybody hates himself. The human mind is wired to be progressive to stay competitive.This is why we are constantly analyzing our position,environment ... Only people with a low IQ dont because they lack the ability to reflect what might be missing in their life.
2.Basically Nr 2/3 of your plans are the same Confidence = Attractiveness.
3.Have you considered your grandfather is just wanting to help. He wants to push you to go out there and do something, it might just have went the wrong way. People, especially coaches make this mistake very often. Instead of motivating they are screaming at their team for their mistakes and errors. This procedure will backfire most of the time though and result in the opposite. Tell him your glad hes trying to help you and include him in your process of trying to speak to girls. (f.e ask him to play the old cute lost grandpa looking for his grandson and speaking to girls, finally appear and tell how sorry you are. Tell your grandfather to than insist on you getting the girls number.)

I hope this helps you,
nofap will increase your developments even further

Ged.

p.s Japanese is a fucking interesting topic. People love counterintuitive actions like learning japanese rather than spanish or so.

 

Yes blaming human nature is always the easiest to do.
Look mate, I did not say you were supposed to feel comfortable about how you look. Just act like you were and do it according to how I stated. You will make progress and at some Point just accept it!

 

I can relate, I have a girlfriend and while we love each other very much, we rarely spend time together since we live far apart. Good friends are hard to come by here in this antisocial piece of the northwoods. The only people who ever want to spend time together outside of school just a bunch of potheads who don't ever have any real conversation(just small talk). It's even harder when your family lives three hours away. I just get lonely from a lack of friends, my own weaknesses, and the fact that almost everyone here would probably shunt me for my religion if they knew I was Catholic (almost everyone here is either protestant or atheist). I can't wait to get out of this depressing failed mining town. The roads are crappy and everyone is so passive aggressive (minnesota nice)

 

You should try self-loathe as much and as best you can. Maybe you'll grow sick and tired of being sick and tired of yourself

 

The human failure, you're not asking for help. In fact, you're being ironical.

I know too well this feeling of self loathing and self pity. But I'll not tell you how it was/is to me, because this is not a contest of who suffers the most.

What I wish for you, is that you find what you are seeking. Keep this in mind:

If you say you are a victory, you are right.
If you say you are a failure, you're right.

You put so much drama in your talk. And you're actually enjoying it. Feels good doesn't it? If you are a failure you don't need to improve.

If you look more into the abyss, you'll eventually fall. I spent my entire life alone, I am alone now. I did stupid things like putting a rope on my neck then cry like a baby and don't jump. I tried to cut my arms, this time I was serious (and drunk) and a friend stopped me. The last stupid thing I did was roll on the floor and cried for an entire day. My sister came in and tried to hug me she just embarrassed me even more. Years. Crying. One night I got dehydrated from crying so much, my head aching violently, I just reached the bottom, the end. And like you, I was too coward to kill myself. It's painful. It's easier said than done.

I could tell you a thousand times to lift your head, teach you how to do it, sit, and get up several times to show you how it's done, but it's YOUR life. It's YOUR legs. Nobody can lift YOUR head if you don't want it.

I am actually disgusted by your behavior of coming here to complain of how much you suffer, when many people here went through worse things and they are silent, calm and trying to improve. While you are finding the most beautiful thing to slap in your face and brag with pride of your suffering.

Be a failure. So what, I am a failure too. Or you think everyone here is perfect? You can stuff yourself with anti-depressants what you need is a change of mentality.

You are not the victim here.

 

Why are you doing this to yourself?