Question for others with crossdressing or similar fetish

*WARNING: Post contains allusions to some sexual acts and mention of types of porn

Hello all,

I'm new to this site, stumbled on it and thought I would give this whole thing a try.

So far, I'm about 7 days in on a reboot. Haven't masturbated at all during the month of November and hoping to go at least 60 days without porn.

Some back story, I've always had a fetish for crossdressing, long before I ever watched porn. In fact, I only started looking at porn and online videos at the end of high school, well after puberty.

Since then I've stumbled onto humiliation POV stuff, feminization and sissy porn. I don't think at first I was overtly submissive, the appeal was more having a woman address me as a crossdresser, something that I've never divulged to anyone in my personal life. It wasn't so much the instructions of what I was being told to do, but the fact that the person on screen was acknowledging this secret that I had and engaging with it.

Over time I've watched a lot of videos and have escalated this fetish considerably. It hasn't gone into "gay" territory, but that seems to be the end goal of that type of porn and it's definitely not something I feel comfortable persisting in. I'm trying to get to the end of the year without looking at porn, and then hopefully continuing on past then. I would like to be able to have a vanilla sexual relationship with a girl. I used to be able to ejaculate from penetration but with recent partners I can only climax through hand stimulation while thinking about my fetishes. I'm hoping that the reboot will help to solve these issues.

But in terms of crossdressing, I feel like this is something that I've had ever since I was a kid, before porn and inevitably I won't be able to deny the satisfaction I get from it. Cutting porn out is the end goal, but I'm wrestling with how to deal with the crossdressing fetish, either attempting to cut it out completely, trying to balance it out in a manageable way, or trying to find a partner who wouldn't mind incorporating it into sex life on some level.

Was wondering if anyone else had dealt with this sort of thing.

Cheers,