new fapstronaut

hi guys,
I found the concept of NoFap recently. Today is my first day. I am starting to quit PMO from today 12:05 hours (GMT). I am going to write a brief history of what I am going through and how i got trapped into this shit.

I was born in INDIA in a small town. My family was a conservative family. The place where I used to live had a bad and criminal surrounding. I was not allowed to go out of my home for the first fifteen years of my life. I don't blame any anybody as It was done for my safety and better life. I had to go to a school nearby, so that someone can always drop and pick me up. The school was very small and didn't had any recreational activities. It made me a lonely, reserve kind of person with only a few people to speak with. It continued till i passed my senior high school. My family was aware of it and at the age of 12, when i started arguing that why don't they allow me to go out? They found a way to please me up and gave me a computer at home. And after few months, it was the time I saw porn my personal computer. Other people were not so literate on computer in my house, so it was more easy for me to watch and manipulate. It continued for 5 years when i went to college. I never realized that I was getting addicted to it. I never confessed and continued.I went to college and got some good friends but still i was reserve person and hesitated to talk to girls as i used to objectify them and slowly i ended up again lonely and trapped into PMO. It was my fourth year in college, when i truly liked a girl but finally i ended up in rejection. This led me more addicted to porn for few days. But, eventually i never harmed my studies so much as I screwed my social life. I owe to my friends who always pulled me up for studies. As i was an above average student, I ended up a getting a government job. A government job is somehow has created such a social taboo in my country that it's very difficult to leave that job. Although i was not liking the job, i was not able to leave it because of social pressure. I was forced to work there. I was depressed and this was the time when porn took over me completely because it used to make me relax whenever i was too anxious or depressed. slowly, i was fully trapped and it dominated me so much that I started looking for escorts. I ended up in having sex but inside me it was constantly alarming that whatever i was doing is not right. I felt study is the only way to get over it. I decided to study further , so that i can get engaged in studies and i will forget everything about PMO. I applied to foreign universities and finally ended up in EUROPE. When i came to europe, it went the other way. I was amazed by the open culture and I went more into PMO and sex. And now when it started affecting my studies, my inner self and my thoughts. I was terrified. Nothing was going my way. I was trying to quit but i felt helpless. I masturbated almost everyday and wasted 2-3 hrs everyday watching porn. I was torn apart and I didn't knew what to do in life anymore. Then I sat and started searching how to get rid of PMO. I am already away from sex and have not gone for sex since last 30 days. I think if I control I can get over PMO too. I am 27 now and my porn habbit is 15 years old. I hope Nofap can help me get over it and get a new life. I am also looking forward for friends who can help and motivate me in this journey.

Thanks so much for reading my long history. Let's fight together.

 

thanks andy for your warm words. I am going to create a new thread in reboot.

 

thanks so much. It means a lot.