I've never had a relationship, but nofap is preparing me for when I do.

Everyone starts somewhere. Once you find what you're looking for you'll know what you need to do. It doesn't matter if you haven't had a girlfriend. Try and find something you love to do, it can be anything. Once you find that you'll feel more confident and you're well on your way from then on!

 

Yeah it sucks man, having lived my whole life socially awkward it got WAY worse after I started with PMO at like 11 or 12 and I got more social anxiety, and have wanted a girlfriend for the longest time.

I was a real idiot back then but I'm so glad I had what I needed to discover what was wrong and what needed improving in my life, then made a final decision to do the NoFap challenge for the benefits of motivating myself, working out, eating healthier, I feel like I've never changed more than I have in these past 40 days ( and a few months before this) than I have in my life.

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Im 27 and am in kind of the same situation, have dated a few girls (who i didnt even like or see a future with). 'i think the main reason for me is that Im extremely awkward in intimate situations and I guess Im scared of getting hurt or something. Actually Im scared of the whole being in a relationship thing also.

Sure I wish I had some experience on the subject and sometimes I get the feeling that its "too late" or whatnot, but I think the important thing is to see it as a learning experience, go on a few blind dates and make a fool out of yourself but learn from it.

 

Seeing a familiar pattern here gents! Seeing it because I know exactly what you mean.

I think I might be a little further down the line to recovery then you though but i'm all very new to this.

A big step for me was to give up caring so much. Just stop fussing about it, be honest up front and not scared of who I am or what anyone else thinks... the phrase "fuck em" does wonders for the self-esteem. But dont let it drive you into hibernation from your fears, use it as a tool to overcome them.

OK, i'm old enough to be your dad just about but remember this; you will meet millions of people in your life. Be the best person you can and, if some don't like who you are or who you're with.... "fuck em".
Be true to yourself and stay close to those who are true to you.

I think were on the right path being here

 

I'm in almost the same situation as you. I will become 25 next month but i did have one girlfriend 4 years ago. After that went wrong I thought I would have another girlfriend in no-time but I was wrong. I did date some girls afterwards and I was even in a situation, alone with a girl from whom a knew for a fact she liked me, but I didn't do anything. I think NoFap will help us both a lot, i've been feeling more confident for a period of some days, now i'm somewhat down, but i'm sure it comes with the challenge.

 

Hi, 25 years old here, I never had a girlfriend and only dated 1 girl to be honest but I realize how much a better man I am after taking this challenge and I will never come back to PMO, I want to be the best man for my future wife and I hope you'll find a lovely lady that will love you like you deserve.

 

18(soon 19) years old here.

I've never had a girlfriend either. I've been close to having one a couple of times, but when the time to "seal the deal" came, I usually got anxious and took PMO as an easier way out. Oh, how much I regret that.

I'm glad though, that I had this experience in the terms of learning. Without this addiction, I've probably wouldn't know as much as I do right now.

I'm constantly becoming stronger and better and I know, that one day I will have a girl in my life. But until then, I'll be developing myself constantly.

I want to congratulate you, guys. Some great numbers on those counters you've all got there. Keep it up! We are winning!

 

The first thing I thought when I read your post was "omg, I wish I was 19 again,this whole process would have been so easy", then I thought "some 35 yo guy might read my post and think omg I wish I was 27 again, this would be so easy".
I guess what I learned from that is that the only important thing is to start now and not wait for some other day.

 

Yup. I was thinking about someone saying something like you just did.

One of the most important things in life is, that we have to stop comparing our situations and ourselves to other people and their experiences.

Like my grandfather told me:
"Comparing yourself to others is the fastest way to hell"
(I don't know who's philosophy this is originally, but the point is all that matters)

 

Well I'm 15 and never had a girlfriend (theirs no real point at my age). My number one reason for doing nofap was respect, respect for women and respect for myself, and yes I am doing this so that I will be a better person when i start dating.

 

Nice signature! Impressive streak too
Keep it up, God Bless!

 

I like that one that's good notafraid. Time4achange im 23 and am going through the same thing. Youre post is the same reason im here.

 

All you guys need to realize that our life's truly our just starting I mean we left our parent(not me) and we have our whole life ahead of us. I'm only 19 my standards like you were unrealistic. I think you can't have true standards unless you dated and know lots of girls. I mean the obvious like maybe no smokers or heavy drinkers but specific personalities well that only comes from experience.

Honestly don't worry my man. Just go through life hit on that attractive girl you like and if it goes well take her out go after her get her or get your heart broken. Life is experiences bad and good they form you. DO the thing you fear. Good luck.

 

Congrats to you all for realising how demeaning this addiction is to women. Imagine down the track how amazing it will be to look at your partner with admiration for her beauty, her mind, her soul, and not for the dopamine fix. To walk down the street with her and not be consumed with all the other women walking on that same pathway because what you have is your perfection by your side.

The pixels on the screen, in magazines, in your mind, they cannot hold you, kiss you, touch you.

Men and women are both beautiful creatures but finding the difference between seeing beauty and sexualising is the true recovery.

I wish you all well on your journeys to a better you.

 

I can totally relate to your post. I am 32 and have only had failed relationships. The longest was 3 years and ended primarily because of my addition to PMO as well as my ridiculous obsession with certain types of body parts.

Some of my symptoms:
- Not sleeping well and waking up for PMO
- Not able to feel love only lust
- Awkwardness
- Defensive person
- Difficult person
- Irritable

So many others...

 

I am 27 and I am going through the same situation. I am very awkward at social gatherings. Well things are starting to change now well I should have taken this step a lot earlier but hey better late than never ..............

 

I'm the same way, I'm 34 and have never had ANY type of relationship with a girl/woman. I always blamed my awkwardness/social anxiety, but I'm starting to think that the porn addiction I developed at around age 12 or 13 may have caused the social anxiety or at least was a major factor.

I desperately want to overcome this, but I'm already getting a bit nervous and panicky. It's going to be hard as Hell to do, but I think it'll be worth it.

 

Wow...I keep doing that "comparing myself to others" mistake...your grandad really nailed it with that quote. Love it.