How do you tell someone you don't like them without hurting them?

Exactly! Yes, there will always be a lot of variables, but the main point is you have a right to say no to her and you should exercise that right in a charitable manner. By doing so you ultimately do her and yourself a whole lot of good.

Way quicker. In her mind she is going to take any answer which isn't a direct no as meaning there is a chance that you two could be more than just friends. Telling her no is the only way to stop the insanity. If you don't say no right now, then you will really be hurting her later on. Heck she'll probably even ask you why you didn't just tell her no in the first place.

 

Facing rejection is part of life. Wanting to spare her feelings is admirable, but honesty and doing it in a nice way aren't mutually exclusive. There are ways to gently let someone down, without crushing them or ending all possibility of a continuing friendship. If you punt the issue or give false expectations, you'll only be setting yourself up for further trouble down the line. Be clear, and don't use ambiguous phrases or expressions that lead to false hope.

 

and again man don't over complicate things your not a mind reader so you don't know what she thinks.she may but I think your over thinking this to much who knows maybe your thinking about this more than her who knows she might not even be thinking about it


(Sorry something wrong happened with the post)

Yeah true. In fact, she's actually one of the few female friends that I consider to be close with. I'm thankful for having a friend like her, but ever since our last conversation, I don't know what's going on in her mind. If she was embarrassed, sad, and so on. The only thing I know is that I wasn't prepared for something like this. All in all, if she brings it up again (which is unlikely) I'll be completely honest with her. It is what it is, but at least we're still friends. That's what really matters.[/QUOTE]

 

LOL That okay! Don't get this much confused. If you don't like her just say it. Tell her that she's really good but never felt like love or something. And as you said she is understanding, so she will.

 

Being bluntly honest is one of the best thing that can happen to you, experience it first-hand. I'm pretty straightforward and had little to no problem people being straightforward towards me.

 

If I don't like someone I just tell them...
Simpler that way, I can live without people if I don't like them.

 

RMS has (not) beckoned.

 

Mothertrucker

 

Yeah, tell her you like her as a friend but not as more.
What about being a wingman for her to find someone who DOES like her back?
Yes, she may be upset, but also it's easier for her to know the truth than have hopes dashed later.
The person who said why do gurls hate being friendzoned, well, GUYS DON'T exactly LOVE it, NONE of us do if we like that person!
I have a friend who is JUST a friend and on BOTH sides it's only friendship.
He even gave me a fistpump yesterday and said "Thanks for hanging with me."
He talked to me about OTHER girls he DID like.
Things like that?
Told me gross stories like about farts and stuff (they were funny though!)
So I think those are ALSO good ways to keep it friendzone? But first tell her.

 

My belief is that for communication to be effective, it must be clear. Now clarity does not always mean that you must understand how you feel. For example, you may not know if you have romantic feelings for someone or not, but you can still clearly say: I am unsure if I have romantic interest in you. Speak your truth. Now in your situation, based on your words, you feel very clear that you do not have romantic interest in this girl, yet you still value her personality and friendship.

This being given, had I been in your situation, I would have explained to her outright the above detailed. It is clear to me that you did not wish to hurt her, which is a noble endeavor, however a lack of clarity can also lead to hurt and confusion. I think Obi-Wan did a good job indicating this point exactly. I, as he did, would advise you to do the same: be honest if she asks you again. Though, in addition, I would prompt you to consult your heart on this matter: would it be worthwhile to reach out to her and tell her you don't have any romantic interest of her own accord? She may or may not reach out to ask you again which, either way, is ultimately okay. But if you feel a weight pressing you to talk to her again and tell her how you truly feel in order that you both might have a clearer understanding of how you relate to one another, then I encourage you to consider that weight in its full gravity. Clarity is key.

 

I didn't read the entire thread but I can say this: brutal honesty hurts only once if even. Cowardly lies, passivity and sugar coating keep hurting and hurt more so when the truth rears its ugly head.

I have made a similar experience. It hurt the girl a ton and much more had I been honest earlier.

 

I've never been a forward kind of girl like her, but I appreciate honesty.

I know some girls like to make traps for guys and putting you on the spot could've been a trap. Like by asking you about the past, she is thinking about the future. Or maybe she just wants to know. But being honest will not prolong the awkwardness and curiosity. If you didn't like her back then, you say " I thought you were sweet, but I never thought of you that way."

If she asks about the future, be honest. You can be honest and not be a dick hahaha

And if you want to be VERY impressive, call her or text her now and tell her that you were caught off guard by her question. Tell her that 11 years ago was a long time and that you remember her being sweet and fun, but your thoughts were nevermore than that.

Honesty and straightforwardness are rare and attractive traits. Trust me, I'm a girl.