i am 19, male, single, on nofap for 6 days. never had a gf and have not had any friends in many years, pmo helped me get over and gave me the feeling i am fine with no gf or friends why do i need them? i believe this is why i isolated my self i told myself: i am perfectly happy. then one day that feeling just went away and i realized that i did want these things but my mind kept telling me to start trying to get a gf screw friends. i felt sad not having one and my mind told me that it is the only way i could ever be happy. not friends but only a woman would ever make me happy. after all these years my already low social skills took a massive beating, but are slowly improving. does this feeling of needing a gf to be happy ever go away? how do i start going about making friends?
Find friends and a future gf by working on YOU first. Don't approach friends or girls from a place of neediness. Keep building yourself up through healthy lifestyle (diet, exercise, self improvement reading) and of course nofap. The rest will fall into place. YouTube this guy Jason Capital. He has some good stuff on bettering yourself and getting the women you want/life you want. You'll be fine. Just change your focus to you and not others. You need to be solid within first and the rest comes along.
hang in there! you came to the right place. everyone here is so supportive and helpful. my advice: stay active on nofap. read other people's stories, you'd be surprised to see how many other people have very similar stories as you. we're here for you! good luck my friend. "For I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
In my life, I have found that the desire to be connected with a woman on a deep level never goes away. Like you said, you can pretend you don't want it, kind of psych yourself out, but ultimately deep down that is something that gives a man a huge amount of meaning and value, and to ignore it because you are afraid to approach women is foolish. Better to face your fear each day and gradually work to a place of integrity and truth.
Hi @hamcandan , first of all, you don't need anybody to feel happiness. Sometimes I also think of needing a girlfriend or beeing more social in general. However, these thoughts are pretty common when you experience discomfort like tiredness, hunger, or even stress. They are like "uh, I am feeling uncomfortable at the moment and I immediately need something to fix this". So what do I want to tell you? Nothing more than just taking care of yourself first. Sometimes, isolation is perfect for this. Imagine a computer downloading a huge upgrade package. It will be done fastest without any other influences. When you are done, go outside and do things you enjoy. You will always attract people with similar mindsets as yours. This is probably why I answered to your post, lol. Right now, I am lonely and isolated, too. But I enjoy it. Much better than hanging out with a bunch of fake-friends. Isolation brought me some kind of clearness reflecting my relationship to people I stayed in contact with in the past. Some of them were not healthy. So, nothing wrong with beeing alone. Hoping the best for your reboot! jonny94
I agree, if it's by choice. I don't think he wants to be alone, however, which is a problem. @ OP: You make friends by building rapport with people.
Robbins is a joke. To the OP: in your situation, the way you go about making friends is by intentionally putting yourself in uncomfortable social situations. Your confidence will improve and you will thus start to attract people as your character improves. You need to know who you are. This will shine at its brightest during your biggest strides and failures. It's important to have both. No one is perfect. If you remember that, you'll be just fine. Good luck. And don't read self help books. Just do what I suggested. It'll be like going to the doctor; you'll be scared and first and then so relieved.
