i m so low right now

Hi
You are amongst people who felt just like you, but recovered. No low is too low to bounce back from. You can get better and you will if you believe in yourself. These forums are a powerful tool. Start posting questions and making friends!

 

You are in a difficult fix because you are likely using masturbation and porn to cope with your low mood as many of us have. But now, you are not alone. You are part of a team with many of us experiencing similar things to you. Stay strong!

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.

What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?

 

Yes you can!

 

I feel for you man. There are alternatives. You don't have to go cold in doing a reboot. You can baby step this, and just start spacing your sessions. You can also get an partner to talk with so that you have someone that cares about your progress. You just have to be willing to try. Let me know if you want some ideas of 'what baby steps' might be.

 

Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips to help you along your journey.

 

(I offer this in the hope that it might help, forgive me if it's obvious, and I do think you are an intelligent being)

In addictive behavior (like that of porn and masturbation), if you find you absolutely can't stop, then you can take gradual steps. It won't help if you are having sensitivity issues, but it can help you slowly regain control, and gain confidence in yourself.

Here are some ideas to 'ween' yourself. This is the idea, that you aren't telling yourself 'NO', but instead saying 'yes, but not so much', or 'yes, but not right now'.

Here are some ideas:

If you do think you can pause and wait for a day or two, then make the goal a routine of pausing and waiting a day or two. This is the idea of delayed gratification. You tell yourself you can have porn and masturbation, but you are going to exercise control of when. If you can, try perhaps alternating days. (I can on sunday, but not monday, I have to wait to Tuesday, etc). If you can successfully do that, then try it for a month, and then see if you can go 2 days without (and if you can, do that for a month), and keep this trend up till perhaps you are just once a week, and so on. The idea is to allow yourself what you crave, but control when you allow yourself to indulge. This way the cravings aren't so immediate (and can be pushed to a close date).

If you are really having problems even pausing a day, then there are other ways to reduce your consumption. Some sex therapists, believe if you can use pics featuring just a genitals, that it is closer to the real experience. In that, the idea you are narrowing your focus. Another idea is to perhaps say, I'm only going to look at the videos on the first page of the porn site. (Or, I will only pic one video, and I will not click (Stop/play/rewind)). If that isn't possible, set a timer, and say that you have to have your business done in 45 minutes, and when the timer goes off, you have to stop no matter what, until the next session.

The idea is that if you are having issues saying 'no', then say yes, but exercise control in smaller ways. Think of it as training yourself, where there is a challenge to improve, but you don't have to be a star athlete to begin (in this case means going cold). The idea is to structure things in ways that can allow you to be disciplined about use. Do that for awhile, then test yourself to see if you can go a little further, then make that new mark the routine. Repeat until you've established the ability to decide yourself when, and if you want things.

As long as you make this a progressive approach you are still traveling towards the place you want to be.

If you work with an AP, that partner can become like a coach, where they can review your schedule with you, and encourage you to do the test when it's time, and then challenge you to stay with the new routine.

It's still possible you can mess up, and still maybe you have to reset. But its the struggle that makes you better, and as long as you keep at it, you never fail.