Hi, Been using porn as an escape from more serious issues in my life for way too long, after wasting two and a half hours today I decided enough is enough. The shame and guilt I feel afterwards crushes me and I hate myself (plus the time I've wasted) I have tried many times to stop, and I've gone months without it before. But I always relapse eventually. It doesn't affect my relationship or social life, but I know I use it to escape the real pain in my life. I had a bad childhood and porn was one of the main ways I used to escape my shitty life as a teenager, I've come a long way and dealt with most of what happened to me, but the porn has stuck like bad shit to my shoe! I found this forum today after trying to install a web filter (and knowing it wouldn't be that long before it was deleted!)
I can relate to what you are saying. Edging/Masturbating to porn is like a corrosive in our brains. An unhealthy coping strategy for everything that is wrong and every emotion we experience. Bizarrely, even 'good' ones. I had a great day, so I will masturbate to porn! Yeah, it gets that crazy. At least the older guys were not reared on high-speed internet porn, which is the most destructive form of this filth. We are lucky that only magazines and VHS tapes were the source of porn when our brains were developing as teens. That means, that your reboot will be easier than someone half your age. You see, sometimes there perks from being a little older, lol. These videos will give you a good outlook on what is involved. The presenter is a scientist and administrates a site called: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ which I heartily recommend.
I totally forgot about all of the stuff from magazines and dodgy VHS (with those classic colours!) that I used to watch. it confused me why there was a lot of info on people turning to more and more violent & crazy porn just to get off, whereas my turn-ons stayed quite soft the majority of the time. I can't bare to watch a lot of the new stuff as I find it so unsexy and pretty ugly. I guess we were lucky that we didn't have internet age 10, although I remember my mum getting a computer around when I was 16 and then I found the internet, (talk about mind & pants explosion) Thank you for the videos much appreciated, I just watched the first one and it makes so much sense. I think a lot of my friends don't even realise they're addicted too.
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
Thank you I've managed to break from porn in the past (I think it was a month or about 6 weeks total) by writing down my urges and reflecting on them, going through my body sensations and checking really whats behind the urge to look. Being generally more active and engaged in positive activities helps a lot (less screen time, although difficult as I work on a computer.) It's in the low periods I use porn more. I'm going to take an active role in posting to my journal each day (and when I get urges), have also had a look at the cold shower technique and press-ups post, plus have started running and trying to do yoga twice a day, I'm already finding the support here really helpful and I hope it will be the final push I need. What about you? I think it's really important to notice the triggers as they're such an unconscious part of whats happening
