A relationship problem! Need thoughts and advice! :)

Hi guys! Such a long time ago I logged in here but I'm here and still struggling but that's not the point in this thread actually.

As I've mentioned a long time ago, I have a girlfriend. We are quite young, 16 years old and soon I'm 17. We've been together for 1 year and 1 month. The first months we were madly in love, atleast I was. She was in love too but now as passionate as me. She could've look at a TV show instead of talking to me and that hurt me for days. I was the bitch and she was controlling me sorta say. It continued like this for months.

Now here I am. I'm not in love with her as before, now I'm control-free and she still loves me and I do to. At least I think so. She's beautiful, cute, funny, smart, kind hearted and she were once my perfect girl I imagined but that has gone now. We kiss from time to time and only kiss, no making out and she have boundaries that I'm not allowed to break. I can't make out properly with the tongue and stuff, I get irritated sometimes and we sometimes argue. She hates when I play games because I spend much of my time on that. One thing guys, games have been a huge impact in my life. Thanks to it I can speak and write English very decent and it has protected me when my mom and dad fights. It's my own world and she doesn't sometimes understand that, or she forgets. I don't know.

I will keep playing games. But yes, she hates when I game. but here's the thing. I have a friend who is a girl, she's cute and asian(which I'm not but my ethniticy is from the asian part of the world) and beautiful, she has the same twisted humour as me, she loves games like me. Recently we've been talking a lot more, she's travled recently and I kinda miss her to be honest.
I can't sometimes stop thinking about her, and sometimes I even look at a picture of her.
She's just perfect also. I like her ALOT, and I think if we keep like talking and seeing, I think it will escalate my liking to being in love with her.

My current relationship is bit of tough because mine is not public. If it is her parents will just be mad as hell, when I say mad i mean mad as WAAAY OVER THE TOP. She's from a culture like that, but since I'm a boy I do not have the same problem. We've managed to keep our secret relationship but telling our friends of course. We've been talking that if we are going to marry each other it will me atleast in 6-7 years when we graduate from university. To be honest that is a long time and I think eventuelly in the road we will argue and things will be ugly.
People these days asks me If I'm in a relationship with her and I must deny for our safety, it has been to much exposed and it's risky. Her brother is freaking scary too.
Tell me, is a secret relationship always going to be secret untill we can eventuelly get married in like 6 years or more? My opionion in this is that those relationships are risky, dangerous and relationships cannot be secret forever because someone will do a mistake and we will be caught. It's a town and everyone knows each other. too damn risky. Plus we're too young anyway..

So yeah, I don't know what to do. I think I still love her or is it me just caring too much?
She have everything but no one is perfect. She annoys me and stuff but everyone does too of course. Ughh.. Love is so overrated sometimes..


It'll be hard if I decide to break up because I care too much. She's such an angel but in this one I seem to be the devil I want more, I crave more but she can't do it. And I don't wanna change her also so... yeah.

And the other girl who I like adore, I think she likes me but I question myself sometimes if she really does. If she doesn't it's okay I guess, I will probably get depressed but.. That's how it is getting rejected. Anyway.. It's so hard to like write everything in here but if you have questions just ask

So should I go all-in on my secret girlfriend which is very riskful and so forth or should I break up because It will be better for our own good and for me. She deserves someone better than me I guess, she deserves to be happy. And btw, the other girl, I haven't kissed or anything but it's clearly we have chemistry and really likes each other. That's what I can see but yeah.

What should I do my friends? I know this isn't something to talk about in here maybe but I do not knnow where else to turn to except here. Sorry for the long text but this will help me tremendously if you actually reply!

Thanks in advance!

 

Hi Phantom! Thanks for the reply! Truly appreciate it!

She says that I don't care about your gaming but she hates it and stuff but yeah. And as said I the first months I was crazy in love and gave all my attention to her but now it's nothing and I just don care. We've kinda switched rolls here. But yes it is slim for me too, it's a long way and it is quite dangerous.

I'm trying so hard not to be that guy that breaks up but i don't know. I remember saying to her don't ever leave me and now look what happened haha.

But the other girl is amazing. I couldn't sleep today and my mind were on her and my relationship too... But I don't know how to even break up, what do I say and stuff.

Thanks for the reply again Phantom!

Ps: yes her humor and her personlity is great, i freaking love it. We have a chemistry sorta say, regarding the other girl.

 

Any other thoughts guys?

 

Dragonslayer53!

Thanks for the reply!

I play atleast 2 hours,I have a channel where I livestream so sometimes it could extend.
And yes some hours could help but bro, it's never one hour because when will go out it will take 1 hour to go there, wait a bit, then we'll take our walk it will take 2 hours and maybe even more. So it's a huge chunk of time. But we're actually meeting up tomorrow.

You have a good point and explaination there. And yes correct, my first kiss was like "wooow". Thing is we do kiss but not a lot mate, she's like an "angel" she doesn't want much of that but I do. I seriously asked well when are we going deeper something like toungue kissing and she said after we get married. So atleast in 7 years. I try to ignore the feeling of wanting to but sometimes I just want to because we do almost nothing but talking and talking. I'm a guy and I have needs, you guys know that.

You have a good point there tho... Thing is I'm young and I wanna get others attention and stuff.
But let me explain, the 6 first months I was crazy in love and I wrote texts that were sooo long and I got almost a half of it and nothing more. She kinda didn't give me the same amount of love and it hurt me. Right now she demands more from me because simply I'm tired of giving the same amount of love over and over again. I began too strong with her and not normal so that one thing I've learned.

The secrecy part, it would explain it if I told you she were a muslim girl but not with the clothes and thingy. She's normal but she has her boundaries. I live in a town where everyone knows each other and if we get caught it's bad for me but most of all her because she's the girl. Her parents would be mad as hell.
And she's got a brother also, now I don't know if he's going to beat me up or not so yeah.
The safest thing to do is break up for our safety.

Hm.. I don't know actually with that part Dragonslayer. The fact that we must keep it secret is to protect us and many is suspecting now. I worked a math tutor and 14 years old girls that I didn't know even asked me if I was together with her, 2 girls lol. And one of my friend did a big mistake just busting our asses to some of our friends that wasn't suppose to know. Our town is kind of gossipy sorta say.
What I mean, If this happends over a year what will happend next year, and then next year?

I hope you can reply to this since you have a good point with the dopamine part and I want to see the answer

Thanks!

 

I see, thanks for the reply! Well I still don't know what I'm going to do. As said, we are meeting tomorrow and I'll see what happends. I'll try things out, I'll let it be for some weeks and see if it's still the same. But yeah forbidden love indeed, that's the thing. I can't take her out for restaurants, café's, lunch, dinner, hiking, riding bycicle. I can only walk with her and even then we have to be super cautious to not be seen. It's bit of annoying sometimes and eventuelly some day we will get caught and it will not end well.

 

thedisputeoffappiness I believe I didn't answer ur post about my belief, well you can say that I'm agnostic. But she's muslim aswell as my parents are. I'm born and raised in scandinavia. I'm not the religious guy

Sertobe, good point. In this case who. And If I don't get the other girl I'll probably get sad and get back in my deppression cycle but I got our from my first relationship (Which lasted 20 days more or less and she was the one who broke up)

Dragonslayer, yes. We live in the same town like 10 min from each other but if we have to meet we need to go somewhere near the forest which will take a while. I get your point bro... hmm thing is, I don't know If I really wanna skype with her. And the losing virginity part is not important for me, I will wait and I want to I guess. She wants to wait aswell. I don't really care about that but it that she have many boundaries and I cannot do really physical thing other then kissing, hugging and holding hands. You know how "young" kids are about exploring stuff, kinda same here about me. So short point, we will never ever have sex until marriage, IF we get married which will take a long while.

Uh I see, well. Yes the brother may only talk and maybe get mad. And in our culture I cannot and will not tell my parents yet at this age because things will get a bit messy. Since I'm the guy I will not get as much as problem as the girl will. Her parents will be mad as hell, maybe even go far that she will knock on our doors. Probably will haha, her mother is scary. And they will tell her to break up so she will and I don't know if she will have a "underground" relationship with me but she will be more watched and controlled like FBI watches over a suspect, get it? So about telling our parents is a no no.

The only one in a family that knows is my family which is my sister. I talked and she said " Do whatever you feel and what I think is that you should break up because you're going to get attentions from girls but you wont be able to do something back and you're too young." Her words was kinda like that.

I dont know if I alreay wrote this but, she texted me that I miss you and stuff and it got awkward for me and I felt guilt because I didn't know if I really miss her back. The other girl is on vacation and the day after she went I missed her instead. And mine kinda feels old and repetative. She wants things from me that I did in the past when I had a lot of free time on my hands, but that was then I gave her all my attention. She kinda ignored some and took and gave a little back and now I'm just tired.

And about meeting about, we're doing that tomorrow. So we will go out and it will take 30 minutes to go there near the forest. After that I'll have to wait for her maybe a long time and then the whole walking takes about 2-3 hours.

But yes, that's what I mean with our relationship being dangerous because you never know what they will do. Thanks for the reply Dragonslayer and everyone else!

Thoughts on this?